


Spectre

by friendoftheearth



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:11:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 51,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6536458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendoftheearth/pseuds/friendoftheearth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Sequel to Pride<br/>Written in 2011<br/>Continued on in Mind Games</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Spectre

(A follow on from the story, Pride)

Life was good, they were happy, they had a place of their own, they were talking marriage, they were even talking children. Jackson was more than ready for that step, he wasn't so sure he was, he wasn't so sure he ever would be. He worried about what sort of a father he'd make, if he was made of the right sort of stuff. Jackson said he was, said Paddy had set him a fine example. Yeah Paddy had but what about Gordon Livesy? It was his blood that ran through his veins!

Jackson's business was thriving, and when Debbie had decided to sell her share in the garage and move away he'd borrowed money off his mum and Paddy and bought her out. He'd long since paid them both back, he and Cain were now full partners, their business thriving too.

With finances on a sure footing all round he and Jackson had then bought a piece of land on the outskirts of Emmerdale, and on that they had built their own home. Nothing big, nothing fancy, just a small cottage in keeping with the area, something warm, something cosy, something close to family and friends, something that was truly theirs.

He had a lot to be proud of and he was.

It was four and a half years now since he and Jackson had got together, they'd had their fallouts, their ups and downs, but the last couple of years had seen them settle down, and they were solid, unshakable, nothing could come between them. Jackson was his rock, his everything, he'd helped get him through so much, he had been the one to pick up the pieces after Chris Davies had... he still found it hard to think about that night. He'd been in the worst kind of mess and Jackson had come running. He'd been scared, hurting, shattered emotionally but Jackson had very gently put the pieces back together, healing him with a soul warming tenderness.

Chris had almost destroyed him back then, he couldn't let him cast even the faintest of shadows on his life now...

He'd put Davies to the back of his mind, had forgotten all about him for long spells of time. Still he'd always known he wouldn't be in prison forever, that he would be released one day. He'd believed that day to be months away, six at least but then the phone had rung, a familiar voice on the other end... David Smith his solicitor. It was David he had to thank for securing Chris' conviction; he'd fought hard to convince the jury of Chris' guilt. It was him who'd seen to the legal side of things when he'd bought into the garage, when they'd bought the land, he'd seen to all the red tape involved with the building of their home too. He'd thought he was ringing regarding a business matter but no. David had first asked how he and everyone were, and then had told him he had some news for him, to prepare himself for something he wasn't going to like. Even then it hadn't occurred to him that it might be about Chris, Davies being the furthest thing from his mind at that moment.

The news that Chris was being released from prison early had stunned him. The fact that in two weeks time he would be a free man had rendered him speechless. David Smith having to ask several times if he was alright.

He'd snapped out of his daze and assured the older man that he was, thanking him for letting him know before ending the call. He'd been on his own at the garage, had brooded over the news, he wasn't sure how he felt about it. Not scared, just thrown, maybe just a little bit rattled. Davies had threatened him as he'd been led to the cells, had promised to come looking for him when he got out!

But later when Davies had appealed against his sentence, he'd apparently apologised for making those threats, saying he'd been angry at the time of making them, irate at the injustice done him. He'd lost his appeal, was told he had to serve the sentence handed to him. According to David Smith, Davies had been a model prisoner and that was why he was up for early release.

Maybe the years he'd been locked up had helped change him, maybe he'd come out a better man, regretting his actions... Aaron couldn't see it somehow.

He'd desperately wanted to talk to Jackson about it, but with Jackson working thirty miles away he was going to have to wait until he got home. It wasn't a conversation you could have over the phone, and he didn't want Jackson worrying about him and he knew he would if he phoned him. Instead he'd taken an early lunch, made his way up to Paddy's, knowing he could offload some of his burden on him, and eager to hear the words of reassurance that would trip so readily off Paddy's tongue.

He'd felt better after talking to him, just like he knew he would, he'd felt better still on sharing the news with Jackson. Like Paddy he was at first taken aback, but then he'd reasoned it out with him, reassured him, and made him believe that Davies posed no threat to their life now. He knew Davies would have to be stupid to do anything to risk ending up back inside; he truly believed he wouldn't want to jeopardize his new found freedom and so a week after he knew Davies had been released he was again at the back of his mind.

But then today, when he'd arrived at work, as he'd walked towards the garage doors, he'd spotted a holdall on the ground just in front of them. It looked familiar, at first he didn't know why then curiosity had him unzip it and look inside.

He'd realised with a jolt that the bag was his, that the contents were his too, it was the clothes and things he'd left at Chris' when he'd fled in fear from him that night! Chris had to have brought them here. Why? Something told him it hadn't been done with any good intention, that it was Chris letting him know he was back in circulation!

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Spectre

Part 2

Aaron tossed the holdall in to the bin where it belonged, he didn't like the memories it had evoked or the sense of unease it had left him with. Chris had been here, had probably stood where he was standing, could still be here somewhere! That thought sent a chill up and down his spine and had him look around him, 'Get a grip!' He told himself, he couldn't let Davies unnerve him like this. He would readily admit to being scared of the man once, but then he'd stood up to him at Bar West, and the fear he'd felt had slipped away. But that didn't mean he wanted to ever come face to face with him again, he knew he would never feel comfortable within a mile of the sick creep.

He could really have done with talking to Jackson about this, talk to him like he had about Davies' early release. He was so used to telling him everything now, no matter how little or how unimportant a thing it seemed, they had become so close, there were no secrets between them which was how it should be he knew, but this he couldn't tell him. This he knew would unsettle Jackson, like it had him and would set him off worrying. He couldn't tell Paddy either, he'd worry needlessly too and as for Cain... well his uncle would probably decide to pay Davies a visit, ask him what his game was. Opening his gob to anyone in this instance would only serve to open up a can of worms, so he was going to have to keep it to himself. He reassured himself by reasoning that the unwanted intrusion into his world was as far as Davies could go to intimidate him... if he wanted to stay out of prison that was.

As usual they had a lot of work on and by lunch time he'd more or less forgotten about what had happened, by going home time he'd pushed Davies to the far recesses of his mind, but not for long.

He usually called in on Paddy on his way home, for a chat and to make sure he was alright, and today was no exception. Since he'd moved out the older man was on his own at the Smithy, except of course for Clyde, he'd left his much loved dog behind to keep Paddy company. Paddy's last serious relationship had ended three or so years back, that had been with Rhona, she'd ended up doing the dirty on him too. He'd never really liked her, couldn't take to her for some reason, he certainly didn't miss her and Paddy had gotten over her quite quickly, which told him the relationship was never going to last. Paddy hadn't given up on finding the right woman though; he was still looking just not having much success. Just like his mum! She was on her own again and looking for the right man. Their numerous failed relationships were a constant reminder to him of just how lucky he was to have found Jackson, to have him in his life, to have found someone so loving, so caring, someone he could trust not to ever hurt him emotionally.

Aaron found Paddy in his surgery, just home from his rounds. The first thing out of his mouth a question on how he and everything was. He knew Paddy had Chris on his mind when he'd asked him that, and wanting to give him peace of mind had said, "Fine," and everything was, at least that was what he wanted to believe. He'd quickly changed the subject, easy enough to do. Paddy had a birthday coming up and they were planning a night out, were intending taking him clubbing the following Saturday night. But Paddy had been humming and harring about going, saying he was getting too old for it now. He and Jackson weren't taking no for answer though and so he had spent the next half hour changing Paddy's mind.

Battle won he'd made his way home. Oak Cottage was only a ten minute walk from Paddy's, close but not too close. Set a little off the road with a regiment of oak trees lining one of its boundary walls, it afforded plenty of privacy but without being at all remote. Three years on from moving in he still couldn't quite believe it was his, theirs.

Each and every day when he reached the front gate he would stand there looking at his home, drinking it all in, reminding himself of just how lucky he was, how he had everything he wanted here. He took nothing for granted, especially Jackson. Jackson had changed his life, had changed how he looked at things, how he dealt with things. Because of Jackson he'd got rid of all his demons, and he no longer hated himself.

Letting himself in through the front door he made his way upstairs, he'd have a shower then make his and Jackson's tea. He was usually the one to make their evening meal, as more often than not he got home before Jackson did. These days he was a bit more adventurous in the kitchen, oven chips and over cooked fish fingers were a thing of the past. Tonight he was doing tuna fusilli. Ok so he'd never make Master Chef but it was Jackson's favourite pasta dish and he loved making it for him.

Having taken a shower he padded in to their bedroom, staring out of its one large window as he towelled himself dry; from there he had a great view of the surrounding countryside. He could see a fair stretch of one of the back roads too, it wound its way around the cottage. He knew if he stood there long enough he'd eventually see Jackson's van travelling along it. It was a fairly quiet road and so far all he'd seen was a tractor... another vehicle had just come into view, one he recognised instantly, one that set his heart thundering painfully in his chest. It was a black Boxster. The only person he knew who had one of those around here was Chris! Was it him? Of course it was!

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Spectre

Part 3

Aaron watched the boxster until it disappeared behind the hedgerow, his gaze quickly moving to the cottage's front gate, unconsciously holding his breath until he saw the car glide past. He couldn't make out the driver because of its tinted glass, and the number plate had been obscured by greenery but he hadn't needed to see either to know it was Chris, some sixth sense telling him that it was.

Just the sight of the car had unnerved him, the thought of Chris being so close badly shaking him; again he couldn't believe the effect Davies was having on him now, after all this time. That wasn't normal was it?

Dressing quickly he hurried downstairs, all the time trying to reason out why Chris would be in the area now. As he'd prepared tea he'd remembered that particular back road skirted Robblesfield, the village where Chris lived. It probably wasn't the first or the last time Chris would drive past his door. He probably didn't even know it was his front door, he most likely thought him still at Paddy's. He felt a bit better on reaching that conclusion and told himself he was just blowing everything up out of proportion. His blood had run cold though just seconds later when he'd realised that if he'd been twenty minutes later leaving Paddy's Chris would have passed him on the road. What would have happened then? Would Chris have driven on by or would he have stopped? What if he had stopped? 'Enough' he told himself, this 'what ifing' wasn't doing him any good.

Opening the oven he placed the now prepared tuna fusilli into it, set the timer and left it to finish cooking. With only the salad left to throw on their plates he snatched up a couple of ice cold cans of lager from the fridge and stepped out through the back door, easing himself into a patio chair as he sipped on his drink. He'd felt in dire need of something stronger than tea and knew it would help him relax and right now he was coiled up tight like a spring, he didn't want Jackson sensing something was wrong and he would, he always did.

The lager might have helped ease some of his tension but it hadn't stopped him thinking about Chris, he just couldn't get him out of his mind and so lost in his thoughts had he been that he hadn't heard the oven timer going off. The smell of food burning had eventually drifted out through the open door and as it reached his nose he'd jumped to his feet and run inside, the smoke alarming going off as soon as he opened the oven door.

As he was scraping the burnt food into the bin Jackson had walked into the room, drawn straight to the kitchen by its unmistakable aroma.

"Something tells me we're eating out tonight?"

His boyfriend was grinning, seeing the funny side of his latest culinary disaster, Aaron wished he could this time, but he was so annoyed at himself for letting Chris get to him that he could see nothing humorous in the situation, "Looks like it!" He snapped back, regretting it instantly, it was sure to tell Jackson something was wrong.

"Hey, what is it?" Jackson rarely saw the ill tempered side of Aaron anymore. The younger man hadn't lost any of his feistiness but moodiness and aggression were definitely a thing of the past. His life partner had mellowed considerably over the last four years, mellowed and matured; something had to be bothering him for him to snap at him like that.

"I burnt our tea!" Aaron shot back gesturing at the charcoaled remnants in the dish he was now placing in the sink to soak. He would put his bad mood down to that hoping Jackson would too.

"Not exactly the end of the world is it?" 

"No but it's your favourite and..." Jackson's arms were around him, his lips silencing him, making him forget everything but him, and when he'd eventually pulled away he had an invitation that would keep it that way... at least for a while.

"How about you join me in the shower?"

When they'd finally made it out of the bathroom in to their bedroom the allure of their bed had proved too much and it was yet another hour before they were finally walking out through their front door. They could have taken the car, they had a decent one now, but it was a lovely summer's night, and just a short walk to the Wooly, and anyway it would mean one of them sticking to soft drinks and they both had a thirst on.

It was only as they'd walked hand in hand along the now deserted road that he had remembered Davies. He was soon feeling guilty about not telling Jackson, not just about the holdall and seeing the boxster, but also about not telling him how it was affecting him. The openness they now had hadn't come easy not for him, and he knew it was that that had made them so close, what kept them so close. He felt he was betraying Jackson's love for him by not telling him. He would hit the roof if he was to find out, just like he had that time he'd kept the confrontation with Davies from him. He'd seen bruises on him and had been livid when he'd told him what had happened in Bar West. The ensuing ear blistering row had led to them both admitting what they felt for each other. Jackson had gone on to make him promise not to keep anything from him again and he hadn't... not until now.

He was going to have to tell him and deal with the fallout, but not now, he didn't want to spoil their evening, it could wait until they got home.

And he really had intended telling Jackson the minute they got back but Jackson had had plans for him, and after had quickly fallen to sleep. They'd over slept the next morning so there had been no time to tell him then. He knew the longer he left it the harder it would be so as he'd walked to work had promised himself he wouldn't put it off any longer and would tell him just as soon as he got home from work that evening. But it seemed fate was conspiring against him because as soon as Jackson had walked through the door he had made it clear he had something to talk to him about.

He'd been offered some well paying work in some place he'd never heard of, a place that was a good three hours drive away. It meant staying there during the week and coming home weekends, he'd done the same sort of thing last year and it had helped pay for their car. They had hated the separation but had survived it. Jackson wouldn't take the job without his ok and he'd quickly given it. The thing was they both knew they needed the money, they had a wedding to pay for and private adoption didn't come cheap. But he knew if Jackson was aware of any hint of a problem with Davies that he wouldn't take the job, he wouldn't leave him, so forcing down the guilt he was feeling he decided not to breathe a word to him.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Spectre

Part 4

Saturday night, Paddy's birthday and the four of them were out to have a good time. They were determinedly working their way around the pubs and clubs in Hotton, so it was inevitable they'd end up in Bar West at some point. Paddy and Marlon had been a bit uncomfortable the first time they'd come here with them but that had been a few years back now and they were now classed as regulars.

The two oldies were on the dance floor... dad dancing! Aaron was grinning to himself as he watched the two of them strut their stuff. It was amazing just how limber alcohol made them. Maybe he should get up and join them, show them where they were going wrong... then again maybe not!

He looked to his right, towards the bar, Jackson was still standing there waiting to be served. As usual the club was heaving, buzzing. A stag party adding to the numbers and to the atmosphere. They'd probably stay here for the rest of the night now, in what was arguably the best gay club in Yorkshire! He supposed he was a little biased, well he had met Jackson here, it was a while before they'd got together though. His fault, his doing, still they'd got there in the end and that's all that mattered.

He had some not so good memories of the place too, Jackson had knocked him back here, he'd seen him kiss another man here... and he'd fallen under Chris Davies' spell here! He silently blasted himself for letting his mind stray to that nutter. He'd done it again, let him invade his thoughts, he'd been doing so well too. He had managed to push the bastard right to the back of his mind after convincing himself that Chris returning his clothes was his idea of closure, and that his car passing their house was purely a coincidence. He'd told himself he'd over reacted to both. He still believed that, he had to.

Raucous laughter drew his attention, one of the stag party was now stripping off, he looked on as one of the more sober of the group tried to persuade his friend that it wasn't really such a good idea, not with so many mobile phones ready and waiting to record the performance. His gaze had been drawn elsewhere then, to the door, to the young man who'd just stepped through it.

There was something about him that held his attention, and it wasn't because he was attracted to him, he wasn't, not in anyway. No it was because he looked so very uncomfortable, so on edge, like a fish out of water... and he felt for him. He'd once walked through that same door feeling the very same way. Still he was sure the teenager... he'd decided the lad wasn't much more than eighteen... would probably find things a lot easier than he had done. He bet he wouldn't turn tail and run the minute another man showed some interest in him.

The object of his interest had taken a look around him, tying to get his bearings and was now making his way over to the bar. He was tall, blond and good looking and he was already turning a few heads. He looked to have everything going for him, but Aaron could tell he was lacking in one department and that was confidence in himself. Not that it mattered, he might not yet have the courage to chat someone up but he knew it wouldn't be long before someone made a move on him.

Jackson was making his way back to the table with a tray of drinks, and his attention shifted back to him. They'd chatted and lost themselves in a kiss, and he'd quickly forgotten about the other bloke. When he did remember he'd looked around for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. He hoped he hadn't bottled it, that he was tucked away in some cosy corner with someone.

His gaze again settled on Paddy and Marlon, Jackson having gestured towards them. Unfortunately they were showing no signs of flagging and his boyfriend had joked about wanting to drink whatever it was they were drinking. He knew Jackson was tired, he'd been putting in some very long days, he was having to, he needed to finish his present job before his 'away' one started in just over a weeks time. Jackson had put in a full day today, but at least he wasn't working tomorrow. They could have a long lie in, and would spend the rest of the day together, just the two of them. He was determined to spend as much time with Jackson as he could these next nine days.

He looked towards the bar wondering just how much of a wait there was now to be served, there seemed to be a bit of a lull in sales so he decided to get the next round in ready. He caught sight of the blond lad and he was pleased to see he was carrying away two drinks, he looked a lot more relaxed, in fact he was looking quite pleased with himself, someone had put a smile on his face!

He'd made his way to the bar and after setting their drinks down on to the table had told Jackson he needed the loo. The toilet door was opening as he'd reached it and he'd been about to step to one side to give the man exiting some room to pass, only he found himself rooted to the spot.

A set of piercing blue eyes were now looking into his. Chris seemingly as shocked as he was to see him there. The giant of a man had held his gaze briefly before looking away and stepping around him.

For some reason he'd expected Chris to say something, to acknowledge him in some way, to make some unwanted comment or something specifically designed to unnerve him, but no, apart from the initial eye contact he'd ignored him.

Seeing Chris again had badly thrown him, and to a lesser extent so had his reaction to seeing him. The Chris he remembered wouldn't have just walked away. Maybe he had changed, maybe he'd had some kind of help in prison, he'd certainly been in need of some. Maybe that had played a part in his early release? He hoped so, he really could forget all about him if that was the case.

He'd lingered in the mens, washed his face, took some steadying breaths, all the time pondering over whether or not he should tell Jackson that Chris was here. It might be a better idea to keep quiet and just move them all on somewhere else. Having decided that would be the best thing to do he'd made his way back into the heart of the club.

He'd only walked a few feet when he spotted Chris again, and he wasn't alone. he was sitting with someone... the lad who'd so reminded him of himself!

Chris hadn't changed! He was up to his old tricks, preying on the young, the naïve, on the inexperienced. The question was, what did he do about it?

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Spectre

Part 5

As Aaron stood there dithering over what to do, Chris' 'friend' had got to his feet and made his way to the mens room. Did he follow and warn him about Chris... or was it Chris he should be warning off? Decision made he stepped over to where Chris was sitting, dropping down onto the chair opposite him. Davies looked startled by his sudden appearance but was soon back in control eyeing him in that sick lecherous way of his, and all these years later it still made Aaron's skin crawl.

"And to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure."

Gesturing in the direction the younger man had gone Aaron said, "Does he know you've just got out of prison? Does he know why you were locked up?" He'd expected Chris to react badly to that but no, he just held his gaze and replied evenly...

"No, Joel doesn't know that I was stitched up, that I served time for something I didn't do. Not yet he doesn't, but he will."

And because Chris was so manipulative this Joel would end up believing every word he told him, every one of his lies ... at least until Chris lost it with him and he would, he always did. Aaron shook his head, not able to believe it was going to happen again, he had to try and put a stop to it, "He needs putting right, and that's easy done." That had got a reaction, Chris' countenance hardening as he ground out...

"I'm warning you now..."

Chris' voice had trailed off, they were no longer alone; Joel was standing beside them, his questioning gaze moving between him and Chris. Aaron got to his feet, eyed Chris defiantly before turning to the teen, "He's been in prison for the last four and a half years, he was locked up for assault and attempted rape! Get involved with him and you're guaranteed to get hurt..." Chris had just lurched to his feet, the sudden movement silencing him and drawing Joel's full attention,

"You've heard his lies now you need to listen to me..."

"No!" Aaron protested loudly, making sure he was heard above the music, "What you need to do is walk away 'now' while you still can." The initial shock on the teenagers face had been replaced by uncertainty and wariness, he was suspicious of both of them now.

"Joel please, hear me out."

Aaron knew who the teen wanted to believe and why. He'd once believed everything that came out of Chris' mouth, so had Paul, so had a lot of young men, why should Joel be any different? He knew it was inevitable that Chris would talk him round and that like him he'd end up learning the truth the hard way. Jackson had tried to warn him, Paddy and Cain too, but he'd just dug his heels in, Joel would probably do the same if pushed so it might be best to back off, and he would... but not before offering Chris' latest prey some kind of a lifeline. After telling Joel his name and where he could be found should he need help, he turned around and made his way back to Jackson. He'd somehow managed to walk away from the worrying situation but he knew he wouldn't be able to forget about it.

Paddy and Marlon were now back at their table, tired but in high spirits, and to his great relief both men were eager to move on to some eatery. And that's how their night had ended, on a high, the three older men no wiser about Chris and him intent on keeping it that way.

The taxi had dropped the two of them off at Oak cottage at some unearthly hour of the morning. They'd gone straight to bed, straight to sleep. His phone waking him up just after ten. He'd been determined to ignore it but as soon as it stopped it had started again, telling him someone wanted him urgently. Holding it to his hear he heard Paddy's concerned voice on the other end of the line.

"Who is it?" Jackson asked sleepily from underneath the duvet.

Ending the call Aaron said, "The police have just been to Paddy's... they're looking for me."

"The police" That had woken Jackson up good and proper, and had him sit upright in bed, "What the hell do they want with you?"

Aaron could only shrug his bewilderment, "Paddy doesn't know, but we'll find out soon enough... they're on their way here."

They'd dressed quickly and then gone downstairs, their plans for a long lie in now in tatters. The knock on the door came just minutes later and he'd shown the two police officers into the living room where Jackson was sitting waiting. Pleasantries over with, the older of the two officers turned to address him.

"We understand you were in Bar West last night?"

"Yeah."

"According to a Mr Christopher Davies you approached him and threatened him..."

"What?"

Jackson's voice rang with disbelief, and suddenly what the police wanted with him didn't matter, he was more concerned with Jackson knowing about Chris, about him finding out he'd had contact with him from someone else. The shit was about to hit the fan.

"Mr Livsey?"

Aaron's attention turned back to the police officer, "I talked to him but I didn't threaten him."

"He says you told him he needed to watch his back, that you led him to believe there were people out to get him, intent on doing him serious harm."

"I never said that! He's lying..."

"We know the history between you two; we know he's just out of prison. Unfortunately we can't prove what either one of you said, so take what I'm about to say as some friendly well intentioned advice. Keep away from Christopher Davies, he's served his time and he's now free to live his life."

He'd somehow managed to hold his tongue, swallow his protests and had seen the police to the door, slowly walking back to the living room and Jackson's wrath.

"You saw Chris! You talked to him and you didn't say a fuckin' word to me!"

"I thought..."

"You thought I wouldn't find out, just like the last time..."

Jackson was livid, just like he'd been that time Chris had cornered him in the men's at Bar West, the very time he was referring to, only he was even more angry with him now. It had been a long time since they'd argued, years since things had got so heated between them, and he hated it, "No..."

"You just walked up to him and what? Chatted about old times? The weather? Got his take on prison food? What exactly did you find to talk to that head case about?"

Aaron didn't like the scorn filled comments, was wanting to fire back some smart mouth remarks of his own, but Jackson was hurt, angry, and he had every right to be. He had to concentrate on explaining his actions, "Jackson he was with someone, and he wasn't any older than I was when Chris made a move on me, I couldn't ignore that, I had to do something..."

"Why didn't you just warn the other lad off? Why get in Chris' face? Why stir things up between the two of you?"

"I don't know, I didn't think..." That wasn't true, he'd deliberately gone for the head of the snake because he'd remembered the holdall, the boxster... because he'd wanted to know what Chris was up to if anything, but more than anything he'd wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't scared, not of Chris, he couldn't admit to that though, "I just wanted to put a stop to him and his..."

"Four and half years in a prison cell hasn't stopped him so what made you think you could?"

"I don't know I..."

"What else haven't you told me?"

That had caught him off guard and he'd hesitated before saying a quite "Nothing."

"You're lying!" Jackson spat incredulously. 

"Alright... I saw his car the other day, it went past here and I thought Chris was looking for me ... but he gave the police Paddy's address so he doesn't know I'm living here." He'd thought that would satisfy Jackson but he was wrong.

"What else?" Jackson demanded, something told him there was more, that Aaron was keeping something back.

He heaved a sigh of defeat then heard himself tell Jackson about finding the holdall at the garage, the older man shaking his head on hearing it.

"And you didn't think you should tell me? You didn't think I had a right to know?"

"Everything's so good right now, it's all going so well, I didn't want anything to spoil it, I thought that would, that it would get blown up out of proportion. I knew you and Paddy would worry, that you would read something in to it, I knew Cain would overreact...

"You never learn do you? You never..."

That wasn't fair, the last few years he'd tried so hard to do the right thing, he'd stopped reacting to things, instead stopped to think things through, "Jackson..."

"When I first saw you sitting with Chris, when you walked out of Paddy's and left with him I was so scared for you. When you called me that night, when I saw what he'd done to you, when I thought he'd... I just wanted to hold you, keep you safe, protect you, not let anyone or anything hurt you ever again. But what you need protecting from most is yourself, from the stupid things you do. You were wrong not to tell me, you were wrong to tackle Chris..."

"I know, I'm sorry." He'd messed up again, had caused to happen the exact thing he'd been trying so hard to prevent... letting Chris impact on their lives...well it wouldn't happen again.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

For Margot ;-)

Spectre

Part 6

Jackson had taken himself off for a walk, away from the upset, something he'd never done before. He preferred to thrash a problem, an issue out. But not this time, he'd stormed towards the door and when Aaron had asked him where he was going, Jackson had snapped back at him telling him he needed some air, some space... to get away from him. He'd been going to try to stop him, get him to stay and talk it all through but had then thought better of it, hoping that when he got back he'd be more willing to listen... more able to forgive him.

An hour later he was still waiting for Jackson to return, and was worrying over him, over what he had done to their relationship. He'd rocked the trust Jackson had in him, disappointed him, hurt him. How did he put all that right?

He tried to think of something else, turn his thoughts to something, anything but the mess he'd made of things. He couldn't though; it was eating away at him. Picking up his phone he decided he'd send Jackson a text, ask him to please come home, that's when he'd remembered about Paddy, he'd promised to let him know what the police had wanted. It was a wonder he hadn't chased him up on that by now... Paddy! Jackson would have gone to his, the two of them were really close, as well as wanting to reassure him about the police visit Jackson would have told the older man everything else that had happened with Davies, knowing Paddy would understand his concerns. He decided to make his way to the Smithy; he had some explaining to do to Paddy now too

He'd been right; he had found Jackson sitting with Paddy in the living room, Paddy greeting him with "What were you thinking?" He hadn't heard that in a very long time, and certainly hadn't missed the chastisement.

He shook his head, he hadn't been happy about his actions at the time but he'd only been trying to protect them... in his own cack handed way. He knew he could never make them understand that.

"Is that the end of it where Davies is concerned now or is it just the beginning?" 

Like Jackson, Paddy was worried that the false claims to the police heralded the start of some sick war against him, he didn't, "He's had the police warn me off so yeah it's the end. That's Chris' way of telling me not to interfere in his life, that if I leave him alone he'll repay in kind.

He could tell by the troubled look on Paddy's face that he wasn't convinced, but then he didn't know how Davies' mind worked... unfortunately he did.

Jackson hadn't said one word to him as yet, he wasn't looking at him either, he was obviously still angry with him. They desperately needed to talk but they couldn't do that here, not with an audience. As if reading his mind Paddy suddenly got to his feet, whistling Clyde as he did so, the Alsatian was getting on in years now but he still loved to go for a walk.

"I won't be long."

That was Paddy's way of telling the two of them to make up and be sharpish about it... like it was that simple! They hadn't argued over something silly, like whose turn it was to change the bed, or put the bin out. This wasn't some petty fallout, it was about his lack of honesty and trust, something Jackson believed sacred in their relationship.

He moved over to sit beside Jackson, taking his hand in his, half expecting him to snatch it from his grasp but he didn't, that he took as a good sign. "I handled it badly I know but... when I heard Davies was out I... I told myself I wasn't scared of him that I'd dealt with it and it was all in the past. I could have just warned that lad off, I had an opportunity to do just that but I had to prove to myself I wasn't scared of Chris, I needed that reassurance, I needed to feel it inside, I needed to know I really was free of him."

Jackson was nodding now, he was finally hearing something he could understand, believe, accept... and forgive him for.

/

It was Jackson's second week away and Aaron was missing him badly, his weekend home had gone too quickly, it was Wednesday now and although they were well into the week Friday evening seemed years away.

He was on his lunch break, endlessly texting away, waiting on Jackson to reply to half a dozen other messages. He knew it might be hours before he did get back to him, the boss of his new job didn't like his workers using their phones on his time, and Jackson being Jackson respected his wishes.

Downing the last of his tea he got to his feet and left the cafe, tucking his phone back into his pocket, readying himself for the mountain of work waiting for him at the garage.

His uncle had started walking towards him on seeing him, work book in his hand, he hoped he hadn't booked anything else in this week, they were snowed under as it was and no way was he giving up his weekend with Jackson.

"Some Joel's phoned for you..."

"Joel!" He was the one he'd warned about Chris.

"I told him you weren't here and to ring back."

"Did you get his number?"

"What am I your secretary now? Who is he anyway?"

"Just a friend." The lie had tripped a little too easily off his tongue and he instantly felt guilty about giving such deceit life. Cain now knew about his encounter with Davies, he'd given him an earful when he'd told him, but that's all he had done, he'd managed to convince him it wasn't going to go any further. That meant he couldn't tell him the truth about Joel... at least not until he knew what it was he wanted. It might be something and nothing; it might not have anything to do with Chris... yeah right!

"Does Jackson know about him?"

Cain's eyes were twinkling wickedly, he was teasing him, winding him up and not wanting him to get suspicious reacted the way he was expecting him to by snapping back at him with, "Of course he does."

Cain had walked off smirking, delighting in getting a rise out of him... but for now none the wiser to Joel's connection to Davies.

The phone had rung umpteen times that afternoon, but not one of those calls was the one he'd been waiting on tenterhooks for. He kept telling himself that because there seemed no urgency in Joel getting back to him that there was nothing wrong. He desperately wanted that to be true knowing that his getting involved in any way would almost certainly turn his world upside down.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Spectre

Part 7

It was late Friday afternoon and Aaron still hadn't heard back from Joel. A part of him was relieved but a bigger part of him was anxious to know what was going on with him. If he was alright ... or if he was regretting meeting Chris?

Aaron hadn't taken the beatings Lee had done, he'd certainly not got as emotionally involved with Chris as Lee had either, but the crap he had taken had him want to stop him inflicting it on someone else. He had thought, had believed helping send Chris Davies to prison would put a stop to his actions, and it had for the time he'd been locked up. But it seemed the minute he'd walked free he was out and about looking for someone else equally as unsuspecting to use and abuse. He felt responsible, like he could have done more to stop it happening again. He knew no one else would see it that way, but then they would never really understand what it was like to have been taken in by Davies, to have your trust so brutally crushed... only his victims would. He felt a great need to help Joel if help was what he needed... and it was, he was certain of that.

Joel had looked to him to be as vulnerable and as naïve as he had been, and Chris had homed in on them both like some heat seeking missile would on a moving target. He'd fallen hook line and sinker for his line in charm, had really believed he cared, that he understood... and he'd had one very rude awakening, one that could have been even uglier than it was...

No! No he wasn't going there; this was about Joel not him. Joel? All he knew about him was his name, which was no use to him. If only he had some idea where he lived. He knew only too well where Chris lived and all day he'd been wondering if the lad could be at his place.

He'd so far resisted the temptation to go look, to just drive past, to look for any tell-tale signs that the teen was there. What had stopped him going? His fear of doing anything that would affect his and Jackson's relationship that's what. Deliberately getting within feet of Chris' place most certainly would!

Jackson knew about Joel, that he'd warned him about Chris, but he hadn't thought to mention that he'd offered to help him should he need it. Typically that unintentional omission had returned to bite him on the bum.

Jackson had been all set to back out of his new job on finding out about his run in with Chris; he wanted to be close at hand should the bastard kick off in anyway. It had taken a great deal of persuading to change his mind, to make him see that there was no need.

Telling Jackson about Joel would put the wind up him again, but he was going to have to, he'd promised not to ever keep anything from him again.

He and Jackson were good, were back to how they'd been before he'd messed up. This with Joel was a complication they really didn't need. He was sure Jackson would want to help him too if he could, but he'd be stupid to believe it wouldn't impact on them in some way and he'd promised himself and Jackson not to let that happen again.

Cain's voice had just broken into his thoughts, his uncle now mercilessly teasing him about where his mind had wandered to again, telling him it was only a matter of hours before he could turn his randy thoughts into actions! He gave the older man his best look of disgust before turning his attention back to the engine he was supposedly working on. He wished he could just lose himself in such lustful thoughts, he wished he could put Joel and Davies to the back of his mind ... but something told him it would be a while before he could.

/

Jackson had arrived home at seven and he'd been waiting for him by the front door. He couldn't wait to set his eyes on him again, to see his smile, to see his eyes light up on seeing him. Jackson had always been and probably always would be the more openly affectionate of the two of them, and so where his initial greeting had been one of words Jackson's had been to pull him into a kiss. A kiss he had just a minute or so into reluctantly pulled away from. He knew it would ultimately lead them up to the bedroom and he wanted to put Jackson in the picture about Joel first, he needed to get that out of the way and off his conscience. Jackson was instantly eyeing him questioningly, knowing something was bothering him.

"What is it?" 

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Has it got something to do with Chris?"

The fact it was the first thing to come to Jackson's mind told Aaron he was still troubled by recent events. His piece of news was only going to inflame his concerns, "It's not what you think, I haven't seen him or heard from him..."

"But it is to do with him?"

"Yeah... probably. That lad he was with that night, I told him where to find me if he needed help and he rang the garage the other day..."

"So Chris has turned on him already!" 

"That's just it I don't know, I wasn't there, Cain told him to ring back and so far he hasn't."

"And if he does... when he does?" 

Jackson seemed to believe it inevitable too, "I don't know..." He didn't, it all depended on what Joel had to say to him, "I just wanted you to know about it."

"I don't want you getting involved with Davies, no matter how remotely ... but you're not going to be able to stop yourself are you?"

No he wasn't, if he was any kind of a man he wouldn't be able to. Before he could answer before he could tell Jackson he didn't want it coming between them Jackson was talking again, saying something he'd been desperately hoping to hear,

"I can understand you wanting to, needing to, but you're not doing it alone! If this Joel needs help then 'we' help him, it's something we do together, not you on your own, understood?"

"Ok." He couldn't have asked for anything more, he felt the unease he'd been feeling for days now drain from him, and he moved closer to Jackson, his mind having moved on to other things. Jackson obviously hoping they could now too...

"Can we forget about him for now, concentrate on you and..."

He'd not given Jackson chance to finish his sentence, silencing him with a kiss, a kiss that had instantly turned passionate...

/

Jackson had left at 5am, after watching him drive off Aaron had got back into their still warm and dishevelled bed, smiling to himself as he remembered the lovemaking that had left it in such a mess. He'd hoped he could go back to sleep but he couldn't, his mind now shifting through memories of the all too short weekend he's spent with his boyfriend. They'd spent every minute of it together, a lot of it in bed, some of it at the Woolpack, and some of it doing boring but essential stuff around the house. They'd inevitable spent some time talking about Joel too, Jackson making it clear that if he got in touch when he was away he wanted to know the minute he did so, he'd had to promise he would but he wasn't sure how that would be of any reassurance to him.

It was now 11am and as always Monday morning was proving to be busy. He was in the office making out a bill for a customer, or trying to. He'd just answered the phone three times in quick succession, and was for the umpteenth time trying to total it up. The phone was ringing again and he let it, expecting it to again be business related. Finally snatching it up he reeled off the obligatory "Dingle Automotives" and had then heard a hesitant voice ask "Aaron?"

He knew straight away that it was Joel.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Spectre

Part 8

Aaron had got nothing out of Joel over the phone. He had asked him straight off if he was ok and after a pause Joel had said he was, the fact he'd hesitated had made Aaron all the more suspicious but Joel wouldn't be drawn on it, and had interrupted him to ask if he could come see him, speak to him. He'd readily agreed, and they'd made arrangements to meet in the cafe in Emmerdale that very afternoon, Joel saying he would be there for one.

He had made a point of getting there early, was there for ten to the hour, and was still sitting there waiting at quarter past. At quarter to two he'd told himself that he was going to have to accept Joel was a no-show and go on back to work.

What the hell was going on? Why ask to see him, arrange a time and then not turn up? His mind had come up with all sorts of reasons, one in particular, one that troubled him deeply and that was that Chris had somehow found out and stopped Joel coming!

Before leaving the cafe, he'd tapped out yet another message to Jackson, he wasn't about to forget the promises he'd made his boyfriend recently, to keep him informed of any and all developments.

Almost instantly his phone had started to ring, it had been Jackson, he was on his lunch break too and so had been able to get right back to him. They usually texted each other during the day, but it seemed he'd wanted to be sure and get his message across in that particular instance. He'd told him there wasn't anything more he could do, that Joel would get back to him if he needed to. What he'd really been saying was that he wasn't to go looking for Joel, knowing full well that the first place he'd look was Chris'. He had been sorely tempted to do just that which went to prove just how well Jackson knew him.

Jackson had moved the conversation on to other things, trying to get him to focus on something other than Joel. They'd chatted for a while about each other's day and then reluctantly said their goodbyes, both were missing each other badly... and it was only Monday! He couldn't see Jackson taking on another one of these long distance jobs, he certainly hoped he wouldn't. Neither one of them were coping very well with the separation this time, both miserable, both living for the weekends which seemed to fly by while the working week just dragged on and on... and the nights! They were the worst part of all, the bed was empty, cold without Jackson beside him, and waking up without him was not the best way to start the day. That put him in a bad mood before he'd even got out the front door. Then there was all this with Davies, it had briefly rocked their relationship and what for the last few years had been their cosy little world. They were ok now, as close as they'd ever been but their world wasn't the settled place it once was, not the way Davies was haunting it at the moment.

By the time he'd got back to work thoughts about Joel were again creeping to the forefront of his mind. There was no stopping them, not when he could so easily put himself in his shoes.

He'd not thought to ask Joel for his number, not until a second after he'd rung off, he'd tried ringing 1471 only to find the number had been withheld, he hadn't been sure what to make of that at the time, had it been deliberately hidden by Joel or was he phoning from somewhere the number was automatically withheld... like the local hospital?

His imagination had started working overtime then, was immediately picturing Joel lying on a hospital trolley, all banged up like Jackson had been after Chris had laid into him. Knowing he'd put Lee in Intensive Care made it all too likely... he just wanted to prevent it if he could, stop it happening again... if it wasn't already too late... all this worrying and he didn't even know for sure Joel was with Davies!

It was five o'clock now; Cain had just gone home, leaving him to lock up. He'd decided to put in some extra hours, clear some of the backlog. There was no one waiting for him at home, a microwave meal for one the only real enticement there at the moment. He'd work til seven, stop for a pint at the Wooly, call in on Paddy, the highlight of his evening taking Clyde for a walk... no the highlight of his evening would be talking to Jackson on the phone, he had that to look forward to.

He'd had his head under a car bonnet when he'd heard a car stop on the roadside. He wouldn't have been at all surprised to see Paddy or Adam or even a customer but he was more than a little taken aback to see Joel get out of the car, he'd long since given up hope of seeing him, today anyway.

The younger man was hovering by his car door, not making any attempt to join him, looking like he might jump right back in and drive off at any minute. He wasn't chancing that happening and so walked towards him.

"I wasn't sure if you'd still be open."

"We've got a lot of work on at the moment..." As he talked he looked to see if there were any signs of violence on the younger man's face, there wasn't, but there was a blindingly obvious love bite on his neck, one that on seeing him eyeing it Joel had fingered self-consciously. Enough of the small talk Aaron decided, it was time to get down to the nitty-gritty, to the cause of his visit, "Joel..."

"I'm sorry about before, I bottled it. I'm not even sure I should be here now."

"You're with Chris then." It was a statement not a question, Joel's unease confirmed what he'd long since guessed.

"Yeah but I..." 

Joel had paused and was looking around him, he obviously wasn't comfortable about saying what he had to say let alone say it out here in the open so gesturing to the garage he said, "Come on, we can talk in there."

Aaron led Joel inside, relieved to be finally getting somewhere.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Spectre

Part 9

They were in the privacy of the garage now and Aaron had been about to press Joel on what was happening with Davies, thinking he'd need some encouragement but suddenly he seemed eager to talk, to ask him a question anyway.

"What you said about Chris?"

"Every word of it's true."

"He says he did nothing wrong, that you lied, that you stitched him up."

"But you don't believe him do you? You wouldn't be here if you did..."

"I just need to be sure about him. That night in Bar West he asked me to give him a chance and I have, I like him, I really like him."

"But?" And there was a but! There was a problem and Joel was struggling to admit to it. "Something's making you doubt him... what?" He watched Joel shrug, then seemingly consider how best to answer,

"I don't know...things."

"Things?" What did he mean by that? He could hazard a guess, "It wouldn't be his controlling behaviour would it? His jealous streak? Or is it his temper? Has he lost it with you yet? Has he hit you?"

"No!"

It was a vehement denial and Aaron found himself believing it... as far as there not having been any violence used against him he did... but it was early days, "It's only a matter of time before he does, before he turns on you with his fists!"

"I shouldn't have come."

Joel had turned around and was now heading for the door, and Aaron was beginning to regret being so in his face about Davies, maybe a softly softly approach would have worked better? No, something told him that that wouldn't have got him anywhere either. He hurried after him, catching hold of his arm, forcing Joel to stop and look at him, "Why because you don't like what you're hearing, because you're scared it just might be true? Joel, I know how easy it is to like Chris, to believe he's what you need in your life. I fell for his act too and I wasn't the first. I was so sure about him I turned my back on everyone and everything I cared about. I was warned about him, but I wouldn't have it, I wouldn't listen to anyone, I didn't want to believe what I was told and I didn't not until it was too late!"

"You're wrong about him!"

Aaron couldn't believe what he was hearing, the words nor the pleading tone in which they were said, "I wish I was wrong about him! I wish I could tell you that none of it happened, that he didn't put the lad he was seeing before me in hospital, that he didn't beat up my boyfriend in another one of his jealous rages... that he didn't try to rape me! I can't... and you wouldn't be here now if you didn't think there was some truth in what I told you."

For a minute he thought Joel was absorbing what he was saying, accepting it as truth but then he started to shake his head, edging towards the door again,

"I've got to go."

"No wait..." He couldn't let him leave not until he was seeing sense where Chris was concerned.

"I need to get home..."

Why the hurry? "You haven't moved in with him have you?"

"He's asked me to."

Chris hadn't wasted any time, he'd had Lee move in with him within weeks of meeting him too and as for him well he'd invited himself! "You'll be making the biggest mistake of your life if you do. Those 'things' that are bothering you about him they're not going to go away, they're not going to stop, they'll just get worse, out of hand. He doesn't care about you Joel, just like he didn't care about me. All he does care about is himself, and to have some naïve kid around to satisfy his needs..."

"You make him sound like some kind of a sicko..."

"That's because he is! All he wants from a relationship is someone he can use and control. There'll never be any real affection there, there'll never be any love, not on his part anyway, he's not capable of loving anyone." That was something else Joel hadn't wanted to hear, he was opening the garage door now, he had no intention of staying around to hear something else said about someone he was obviously so in to. He wasn't giving up though, how could he, "You know where I am. Here..." snatching up a pen he scribbled down his mobile number pressing the piece of paper into Joel's hand, "ring me, whether it's just to talk like now or if you need help like I did... stay with Chris Joel and you're going to need all the help you can get!"

He watched Joel drive away, a sense of helplessness gnawing away at him. Much like Jackson and Paddy had to have experienced the time he'd left with Davies. They'd tried to open his eyes just like he'd tried to open Joel's... he couldn't understand him! He was already suspicious, that's why he'd come here, why bother if he'd had no intention of listening to him? Was he so desperate to be involved with someone that anyone, even some certifiable nut job would do?

Snatching his phone out of his pocket he scrolled to Jackson's number, pacing the floor whilst waiting for him to answer. On hearing Jackson's voice his conversation with Joel came tumbling off his tongue, he barely stopped to draw breath, finally finishing off with "What am I supposed to do now?"

Jackson had told him to calm down for starters, and then that there wasn't anything more he could do, that if Joel didn't want to accept the truth about Chris then he couldn't make him. That they could only hope it would eventually sink in and before Davies showed his true colours.

He wanted to believe that, but he didn't, Chris was still the skilled manipulator he'd always been, he'd been playing this game so long now he was unbeatable. The prison sentence had been a just a hiccup, and he'd picked up right where he'd left off... he had Joel in the palm of his hand ... there was no stopping him!

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Spectre

Part 10

It was late Tuesday morning, and Aaron was on his own at the garage, Cain off on a call out, it used to be his job but they took it in turns now. Cain didn't call the shots anymore, not since he'd bought into the business and become a full partner. It was a hot, sunny August day and he was sipping on an ice cold can of coke, trying to quench the thirst he'd worked up, taking a well earned breather... but while he stood idly his mind was anything but...

It was a good few weeks now since Joel had come to the garage; he'd not seen or heard anything from him since. He tried not to think about him and didn't most of the time but every now and again...like now... he would sneak into his thoughts and his mood would darken for a while. He'd tell himself he should have tried harder to persuade Joel that Chris was bad news, that he should have said something that would ensure he walked away while he still could, then he'd ask himself if there was anything more he could be doing... he always got the same answer, the one Jackson had to be sick and tired of giving him too ... a big fat no!

He and Jackson had been to Bar West the last two Saturday nights he was home, the last one, just the other night, to celebrate Jackson's birthday. It wasn't officially until Friday but Jackson wouldn't be here on the day itself, so they'd celebrated it a week early with a group of friends. He had hoped he might see Joel there, but no, there had been no sign of Chris either which he supposed meant they were together someplace else. He'd asked himself then the same two questions he'd just asked himself now, them being... had Joel moved in with Chris? If so, was he regretting it yet?

He was trying to shift his mind off of Joel, onto something, anything that wouldn't make him any more miserable than he already was. Not only would Jackson not be home for his birthday he wouldn't be home for any part of the upcoming weekend. He and his friend were working right through it. That way they'd have the job finished by the end of the following week, knocking a full week off the estimated time. It meant a hefty bonus for Jackson, one he wanted to put towards a holiday, one he'd left him in charge of organising. Easy enough to do, all they wanted was a couple of weeks of sun, sea and sand, they'd have to go abroad for that though, British weather was just too unreliable!

September was usually a quiet month work wise so he knew Cain could manage without him, he'd have to, he and Jackson needed some time away together. He just hoped... there he was again, thinking about Joel! Well he couldn't help Joel if he wasn't here, end of! He forced him mind back to the garage again...

Work had already started to ease off, still there was enough to keep them nicely ticking over, to make a decent enough profit and that's what mattered at the end of the day. He was working on one of the King's Haulage van's at the moment, there was a truce of sorts between him and Carl, had been for a few years now. He still didn't have any time for the tosspot but he managed to keep things civil between the two of them these days. That had to have helped earn them a contract with the small firm. He knew it was mostly down to Jimmy though, that it was him who'd pushed for it. He liked Jimmy, he'd always been alright with him, had forgiven him a lot, he certainly didn't hold a grudge not like Carl did. Thankfully his mum had come to her senses where Carl was concerned, had long since kicked him into touch. She didn't have a boyfriend at the moment, was in between them as she was so fond of telling everyone. He didn't know if he preferred her with or without a man in her life, he worried about her either way. He worried about Paddy too; he was all on his own. He'd long since given up on the two of them getting back together, they were close, obviously loved each other but not in that way, not in the way he'd have liked. He shook his head, dismayed by where his thoughts had strayed to now, thinking about their troubled love lives wasn't going to do anything for his mood, apart from maybe make it worse.

His phone was ringing now, bringing him out of his reverie; wiping the excess oil off his hand he reached into his pocket to retrieve it. His "Hello" was met by silence, he knew someone was on the other end of the line though so repeated the word a little louder, unable to keep the impatience out of his voice. It again got no response so he ended the call, checking the number and finding there wasn't one, that it had been withheld. His first thought was that it was Joel, but if it was why hadn't he said anything? He pondered over the possibility of it being him for a few seconds then decided it couldn't have been, forgetting the call altogether shortly after when a customer arrived to pick up his car.

/

It was Wednesday now, late afternoon, he was planning on finishing early, going home, taking a shower, and then heading over to Paddy's where he was having his tea. The two of them were then going to the Woolpack. Paddy thought he was in need of some cheering up, he was right too, Jackson being away was really getting to him, and the fact he wouldn't be home Friday as expected had put him on a real downer. But no matter how much of a goodnight he had he was still going back to an empty house, an empty bed! He was going to have to stop feeling sorry for himself, stop moping round like some lovesick teen.. his phone was ringing, interrupting his thoughts, he reached for it absently, his mind reluctant to move very far from Jackson.

"Hello." There was a brief pause and then...

"Is he with you?"

There was no mistaking the deep voice, no missing the anger it held. It was Chris!

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Spectre

Part 11

Before Aaron had a chance to say anything in reply to Chris, the other man had launched into an irate rant. First firing accusations, then demands and finally threats at him. Aaron didn't know whether to mouth back, to try reasoning with him or just end the call. In the end, the decision was made for him when the line suddenly went dead.

He just stood there, shaken by the unexpected and explosive tirade, trying to take it all in, trying to make some sense of it. To start off, just how did Chris get hold of his mobile number? He was going to have to change it now! The next question to pop into his head was why would Davies think Joel was with him? And why would he think there was something going on between the two of them? That last question was easy enough to answer: that was Chris's jealous mind at work. But why was Chris looking for Joel? Why didn't he know where he was? The lad had to have walked out on him, done a runner, finally seen sense.

He checked the number on his phone, and finding it had been withheld, remembered the silent, anonymous call he'd received the day before. Aaron reasoned that it had to have been from Chris too. He was suddenly struck by a worrying thought: he'd given Joel his mobile number, had written it on a piece of paper. Had Chris found it? Had he then rung the number to see whose it was? That was certainly something his suspicious mind would have him do. Then he'd have wanted answers from Joel, and if Chris didn't like what he was hearing or didn't believe what Joel had to say for himself, then that would be reason enough for the nutter to flip, to turn violent.

If that was the case then, Joel had to have gone to ground but, was he alright, was he safe where he was? Should he be looking for him? He'd been through all this before, and nothing had changed in the time since. He still knew next to nothing about Joel, he certainly didn't have a clue where to start looking for him. Again, the only thing he could do was wait and see if he got in touch. Was it likely though? If he'd been the cause of Chris kicking off, Joel would probably avoid him like the plague now; then again, he knew he had someone he could talk to in him, and he had told him to come to him should he be in need of help.

But what about Chris? He'd just told him to keep away from Joel... threatening him with all sorts if he didn't!

He really didn't need this. Jackson had made him promise to tell him of any and all developments and he had every intention of honouring that promise, but how could he tell him about Davies' threats? Jackson would drop everything and come straight home if he did, kissing both the bonus and the job goodbye by doing so. But then, how could he not tell him after the bust up they'd had the last time he'd purposefully kept something from him? What should he do? He was damned if he did, damned if he didn't.

If he honestly thought Jackson would react calmly, take it in his stride like he did everything else, then he'd have no problem ringing and telling him now but, where Davies was concerned, his boyfriend was overly anxious, overly protective... he'd just had an idea! He'd tell Jackson in person. He'd work a half day tomorrow then drive down to where Jackson was working, tell him everything, reason it through with him. He was certain he could do just that in person, but not over the phone. The idea was growing more and more on him, because the day after tomorrow, Friday, was Jackson's birthday. They could spend part of the day together that way, the evening... the night. Yeah, that's what he'd do; he'd drive down tomorrow and surprise him.

/

It was eight o'clock now, and he was standing by the bar getting a round in. He'd earlier had tea at Paddy's as planned. Paddy was convinced he wasn't eating properly whilst Jackson was away and so had set a heaped plateful of spaghetti bolognaise in front of him. He'd eaten most of it, Clyde polishing off the rest when Paddy wasn't looking. Paddy didn't half worry about him and that was exactly why he'd not breathed a word to him about Davies' phone call. He would tell him when he got back from seeing Jackson. Paddy wouldn't like being kept in the dark but, he had to give him some leeway here, it was a difficult situation and he was doing his best to keep it under control.

The ring tone on his phone was sounding, he knew it was Jackson; he rang the same time every evening. They'd spend half an hour or so chatting about their day, the usual long distance stuff, knowing that later, around midnight, when they were both alone, he'd ring Jackson, that too had become a ritual. That's when they'd say their I love you's and their goodnights, and all the things that were for their ears only. He couldn't help but smile at that thought; they'd turned into a right soppy pair!

Before he knew it, it was half past ten and going home time. It had been a good night, a fun night, him and Paddy had teamed up against Adam and John Barton for a few games of darts. The company, the upbeat mood had cheered him up but, what had really lifted his spirits was the thought of seeing Jackson the next day. He couldn't believe it had taken a phone call from Davies to give him the idea. Determinedly pushing all thoughts of Davies, and Joel, for that matter, out of his mind again, he walked with Paddy as far as the Smithy, promising to call and see him before leaving the next day.

He'd then made his way home and was just getting ready for bed, when he heard a knock on the front door. It was late, gone eleven, who could it be at that time of the night? He peered out of his bedroom window, telling himself that if it was Chris, he'd be hammering on the door. The car parked by the front gate was one he'd seen before, one that on seeing it again left him feeling decidedly uneasy, but it wasn't Chris's, it was Joel's. Hurriedly pulling back on the clothes he'd just removed, he made his way downstairs.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Part 12

As Aaron opened the front door, the hall light fell across Joel's face, spotlighting the tell-tale signs of violence. He hadn't realised he was staring until the younger man broke the spell with a hesitant, "Sorry, I... I know it's late but..." 

That had spurred him into action, had him uttering a reassuring "It's alright, c'mon," as he steered Joel first into the hallway and then into the living room. He was aware the other man's movements were guarded; he was obviously in pain, his left arm tellingly holding around his chest. Jackson had done the very same thing after the beating he'd taken from Chris, his ribs left badly bruised, his flesh tender, any sudden movement making him catch his breath.

As he watched Joel ease his aching frame down on the sofa, Aaron asked, "Have you seen a doctor?"

"No, it's not that bad."

"I think you should..."

"I'm fine, really."

Joel looked anything but fine, he didn't sound it either. There was a weariness in his voice, one Aaron knew wasn't due to tiredness, but to despondency, caused by the mix of emotions he was feeling right now. He could guess the answer to his next question but, he'd ask it all the same, "Have you reported Chris to the police?"

"No,"

"You have to..."

"No! It'll just drag on that way, and I just want it over with."

He could understand Joel's reluctance; it had a lot to do with pride, loss of face. Seeing a doctor, telling the police had been the last thing he'd wanted to do, but he'd been made to see sense, and he'd done the right thing in the end. Still, Davies had walked free eventually, and less than two months after his release, he'd beaten up another supposed love interest, and again, one still in his teens. He decided to drop the matter for now, wait until Joel was a little more receptive, because he was determined to persuade him to report the assault. Even if it didn't result in Chris getting locked up again, it should hopefully have him keep well away from Joel.

Knowing the younger man needed to talk about his ordeal, Aaron moved the conversation on, asking Joel what had happened between him and Chris.

"Exactly what you said would happen. He flew into one of those jealous rages you warned me about. I was late getting home from work a couple of nights. Last night, he just went on and on about it, no matter what I said, he wouldn't let it drop. It was like he was trying to make me admit to doing something I hadn't done. Then he pulled your phone number out of his pocket, he'd been going through my things! I didn't want him to know it was you so, I lied, I told him it was someone I work with. He said he knew I was lying and he lost it!

"He wouldn't let me leave last night and, this morning, he was acting like it was all my fault, he almost had me convinced it was. I let him think I'd be there when he got home from work but, as soon as he left, I packed my stuff. I've been driving around all day, I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to involve you... but I've got nowhere else to go."

"What about your family?" The lad had to have someone, where had he been living before he moved in with Chris?

"He'll only say I got what I deserved."

"Who will?"

"My dad. He hates that I'm gay; he'll just see this as proof that it's wrong. I can't go home Aaron, not like this."

Aaron was struggling to get his head around that comment; he wasn't sure how to reply to it. He certainly didn't think he should encourage Joel to go somewhere such beliefs were held, even if it was his home. Before he knew it, he was telling Joel he could stay at his, well, what else could he say?

Joel had asked about his boyfriend, if he was there, if he'd mind him staying. That had been a timely reminder that Jackson was waiting on a call from him. After putting Joel straight on both matters, he headed into the kitchen to make them both a drink, and Joel something to eat, intent on ringing Jackson as he did so.

As Aaron set about making a sandwich, he pondered over how best to tell Jackson about Joel, he knew he had to tell him. He was just so very wary of spooking him, having him worry. In the end, he'd kept the conversation short; able to use the fact Joel was there to keep it brief. He told Jackson the younger man had just ten minutes since turned up at their door, that Chris had given him a hiding. Jackson was all for him helping Joel, but was, just as he'd expected him to be, concerned where his involvement could lead. He'd promised to ring him if there were any problems, to ring the police if there was any trouble, insisting there was little chance of either. He knew if Jackson knew the full story he'd be back up the motorway in a flash, and he didn't want that.

He decided not to tell Joel that Chris had phoned him, he didn't think it would serve any purpose. He didn't much like the fact he was hiding things from both men, especially from Jackson but, he honestly thought it was for the best, he truly believed that this way he could contain the problem.

Once Joel had eaten his sandwich, he'd shown him to the spare room. So far, the only one to use it had been Hazel, she stayed over now and again, she usually just turned up out of the blue, which meant they always kept it ready for her, and so it was ready for tonight's unexpected guest. While Joel took a soothing bath, Aaron retrieved his things from the car, moving the vehicle off the road and onto the drive; should Chris be driving round looking for Joel, he wouldn't spot his car so easily there.

That done, he locked up the house, checked on Joel then went to bed himself. It was getting on for one and despite everything that was on his mind, he'd fallen asleep more or less straight away, but not for long.

Something had woken him, some noise reaching into the realms of sleep and demanding his attention. His eyelids flickered open, his eyes struggling to focus on the time displayed on his LED alarm clock. It was half past one in the morning and someone was pounding on the front door! It was another few seconds before his sleep-addled brain cleared and, when it did, had come a worrying realisation. It was Chris, it had to be!

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Spectre

Part 13

Aaron's phone call had left Jackson uneasy, more than uneasy. It had left him with a really bad feeling about it all. But, was that just him worrying about Aaron because he cared so much about him or was this something more, some second sense telling him to get the hell home?

The thing was, Aaron had a habit of getting into scrapes, or did have, he'd matured, calmed down, wised up over the last few years. Still, he sometimes got things wrong, like not telling him about the recent confrontation he'd had with Chris Davies in Bar West. Something told him he was also keeping something back from him tonight.

Granted, any mention of Davies put him on edge, and Aaron knew that, would want to protect him, save him some worry. But, Davies was trouble, trouble of the worst kind. If you were in any way involved with him, no matter how remotely, then you were in danger of having your head kicked in. Despite everything he'd gone through with Davies, Aaron just didn't seem to realise that.

He could understand him wanting to help this Joel lad, but at what cost to himself? If Davies got wind that his boyfriend was at Aaron's, that he was spending the night there... BOOM! And Aaron was all alone, and as hard as he'd like to think he was, he was defenceless against the powerhouse that was Davies. History had proved that.

After anxiously pacing the floor of his B&B room, he'd gone to bed, but once there, he'd only tossed and turned, he just couldn't get Aaron out of his mind. Old, unpleasant memories tormented him, memories that more than four years later were still vivid, his mind's eye replaying them in unsettling clarity... the fear in Aaron's voice the night Davies had tried to rape him, the bruised, damaged flesh, the emotional withdrawal. He'd known even then that his feelings for him ran deep, that he was falling in love, the overwhelming need to hold him, keep him safe, telling him that much.

By one o'clock, he'd given up on sleep and had got dressed, the call home proving impossible to ignore any longer. He hurriedly scribbled a note for Dave, his workmate, and had then pushed it under his door. He told him there was a problem at home and that he would be back just as soon as he could.

Alright, so Aaron had promised to phone him if there was a problem but, somehow, that just wasn't good enough. It wasn't like he was five minutes up the road, he was three hours away! What use was that if there was a problem? In any case, he wanted to see for himself what was going on, assess the situation, see if he was needed, if there was anything he could do. It wasn't that he didn't trust Aaron to handle it; he just didn't think he should be doing it alone.

The drive home had given him a good few hours to think about his decision. He knew Aaron wouldn't be best pleased, that he would accuse him of overreacting, and maybe he was, but so what, he could live with that. What did worry him was that he and Aaron would probably have words over it, and he really didn't want that. He was just going to have to take any flack coming his way, take it on the chin.

He'd made good time, the motorway so much quieter at night, the minor roads even more so. He'd driven up through Emmerdale, dawn not far behind him, about to break over the distant hills. Except for some cat parading around like he owned the place, the village was deserted, its residents still in the land of nod.

As the van swept past Paddy's, he let his gaze stray from the road, up to the window of the bedroom he and Aaron had shared when they'd lived there. That room held some great memories, wonderful memories. If only he could lose himself in them instead of the ones evoked by thoughts of Davies. The Smithy was all in darkness, Paddy's car in the drive, he found that reassuring,

As he rounded the corner, he told himself he could relax now, that in another few minutes he'd be home, and he'd be able to tell himself he'd been worrying over nothing.

He'd just hit the home stretch, Oak Cottage was just a little further up the road... only there was to be no warm glow on seeing it, no sense of relief.

The headlights of his van illuminated the road ahead, the intense beam shining directly on the vehicle that was parked outside his front gate. His blood ran cold on recognising it as Chris Davies' car. His attention turned to the stone-built cottage, he could see that his and Aaron's bedroom light was on, so too the living room and the hallway!

As his van jerked to a halt behind the black Boxster, he noticed the front door was ajar. From the pit of his stomach rose an overwhelming sense of dread, of near panic... he knew now that he was too late, that something terrible had happened!

Throwing open his van door, he ran up the path, his heart thundering up into his throat, his urgent footsteps echoing around him in the stillness of the early hour.

"Aaron! Aaron!" His desperate demands for a response were met by silence as he careered through the front door. As he entered into the living room, he knew why.

His gaze was instantly drawn to the figure lying in a pool of blood, it was Chris Davies. He knew instantly that the giant of a man was dead. For a moment, he could only stare in stunned fascination at the lifeless form. The shock of seeing someone in death quickly turned to horror on realising Aaron was lying nearby, just as still...

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Spectre

Part 14

The last few hours had passed in a blur. The events surreal, like a dream, a bad dream, a nightmare.

If only it was just a nightmare, he would wake from that. Unfortunately, this was all too real, all too ugly, all too hard to contemplate, to somehow have to face.

Aaron lay unconscious in a hospital bed. Chris Davies lay dead. And Joel? Well, he seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth! Jackson just couldn't take it all in, especially the fact the police were viewing Davies' death as murder, and that his and Aaron's home was now a crime scene. How could they ever return there, live there, after what happened? Yes, the blood stains could be removed, the damaged furniture replaced, but they could never rid the place of the horrific event, or of the fact strangers were now trampling through it and doing whatever else they did in such situations. Their escape from the world, their own private space had been violated; it would never be the same again.

His mind was straying again, and so he told himself he had to concentrate on what the policeman was saying to him, but it was so hard. He was worried sick about Aaron, and he was tired, his head was all over the place right now.

He had been sitting with Aaron most of the morning, waiting for him to come round, to open his eyes. Davies had really laid into him, his features barely recognisable due to the extensive bruising and swelling. And it wasn't just his face that had taken the punishment, x-rays showed he had a few broken ribs and a broken arm, silent testimony to the rage unleashed upon him.

Of course, Paddy and Chas had been there, too. The stunned silence that hung between the three of them broken only by the bleeping of the various pieces of equipment attached to Aaron. Still, their presence had provided him with some much-needed strength; he was scared to think where this might all lead. They all were.

A plain clothes policeman had walked into the room at some point, asked if he could talk to him, take a statement. He had been loath to leave Aaron and so had refused, wanting to be there should he wake. The detective, or whatever his rank, had been insistent, reminding him that there had been a death, of the seriousness of the matter, and that it was imperative they get what details they could from him. Paddy had promised to come get him if Aaron showed any signs of waking, so he'd reluctantly left the room.

That's how he came to be sitting in some side room just along the corridor from Aaron's, he was just yards away, yet it felt like a million miles were separating them. He was impatient to get back to his boyfriend's side, where he should be, where he desperately wanted to be. The police had said they wouldn't keep him long, but the interview seemed to be taking forever. Did they have no feelings, no compassion? They didn't seem to have, they didn't seem to care that Aaron had taken such a violent beating, all they seemed to care about was Davies, and finding out who was responsible for his death. Well, he didn't give a shit about him, not after what he'd done to Aaron, now and in the past; as far as he was concerned, death was too good for him. He didn't want to believe Aaron was responsible for Davies' death though, and that's what the police seemed to think. Yes, Aaron would defend himself, of course he would, but with his fists, not a knife! That's what he kept telling them, but it didn't seem to be sinking in, they didn't seem to want to hear that or believe it.

They had him going over everything time and time again. First, the incident that led to Davies' prison sentence, then the events of the last few weeks. Then they jumped to the threats Aaron had supposedly made to Davies, going on to ask why he hadn't known anything about their confrontation at Bar West. After that, they wanted to know about his and Aaron's relationship, how stable it was, if either one of them had ever had an affair. Finally, they asked him about Joel, wanting a description. They didn't seem to believe that he knew so very little about the younger man. For starters, he couldn't give them a description, he'd never set eyes on him, not knowingly anyway. All he knew was his first name, he didn't think even Aaron knew his surname. Other than that, all he could tell them was what Aaron had told him last night, that Joel had recently moved in with Davies and that he'd taken a beating from him the day before. Joel had gone to their place because he was in need of help. He wasn't there when he got home though, why? More importantly, where the hell was he? Joel had to know what happened last night, he had to have somehow been involved.

The police seemed more interested in Aaron and Chris's relationship than in Chris and Joel's, and he had to keep telling them that there was no relationship, that there was nothing between them, except the ugly events of the past. They floored him when they asked why he thought Davies would ring Aaron; he didn't know he had, but Davies had apparently made two calls to Aaron's mobile over the last two consecutive days. The first, brief, the second one, long enough for them to have had a proper conversation. He knew nothing about either call; Aaron hadn't mentioned them to him. Why not? Something told him that if Aaron had, he maybe could have prevented all of this.

Finally, they asked him why he thought it so urgent that he come home, asking if he was expecting trouble, or if he thought someone else was in his bed! He couldn't understand why they were asking such ridiculous questions, what their reasoning was behind it. When he asked them what they were getting at, they just said they were following all lines of enquiry, that it was just routine. That left him none the wiser, just more troubled; his head left spinning by it all. The police told him he could go then, but to keep them informed of his whereabouts because they would need to question him again.

He returned to Aaron's side, Paddy telling him there had been no change in his absence. Aaron remained lost to the nightmare going on around him. But he'd wake up soon and then he was going to have to tell him that Davies was dead, and that the police believed that it was he, who had killed him.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Spectre

Part 15

It was getting on for midnight, Paddy and Chas had long since gone home. They had been reluctant to leave but Aaron had insisted that they did, that they get some rest. Aaron had wanted him to go with them, but no way was he leaving him, and he had told him so. There had been no protests; Aaron needed him, and now more than ever before.

Within minutes of the oldies leaving, Aaron had, with his hand held tightly in his, drifted back to sleep, secure in the knowledge he was there, watching over him.

On finding out he was staying overnight, the nurses had found him an easy chair, one he could, at any other time, have happily fallen asleep in, but as tired as he was, there was just no sleep in him tonight. Unease and worry plagued him, were eating away at him, he just didn't know what to do, how to bring the ever worsening nightmare to an end.

With nothing to distract him, his mind wandered back over the day, back to when he first realised just how much of a mess it all was...

He hadn't really wanted to talk about what had passed between him and the police, he felt he needed time to think it through, get it straight in his own mind. He certainly hadn't wanted to add to Chas and Paddy's concerns, but Chastity had slowly, bit by bit, dragged it all out of him. Like Aaron, she was suspicious of the police, as were all the Dingles, the reason being that their name was well-known to them, and for all the wrong reasons... give a dog a bad name, as the old saying went.

Aaron also had a bit of history where wrong doing was concerned. At fifteen, he'd been forever in trouble, he'd settled down once under Paddy's roof and influence. But then at eighteen, because of his struggle to accept his sexuality, he'd earned himself a conviction for assault, assault against him! That certainly wouldn't work in his favour. Then there was his history with Davies, and the animosity since his release from prison. He knew how it would look to an outsider, especially to the police.

And as far as Chas was concerned, her son was a sitting target, the police would look no further than him when it came to pinning the blame on someone for Davies' death. She was certain they wouldn't waste time looking for Joel, but Paddy had insisted they would, that they had to. The older man pointed out something he hadn't thought of, and that was if they could trace the calls made from Davies phone to Aaron's, then they could trace calls made to Joel. One way or another, they would find him.

They, like him, didn't want to believe Aaron had stabbed Davies, not even in self-defence. Apart from them not believing he was capable of such a thing, they didn't want him to have to live with something like that on his conscience, it would be a heavy burden to bear. He knew it wasn't right to be wishing that burden on to someone else, on to Joel, but in his heart, he knew it was him that had done it. Why else would he have run off, and that's what he seemed to have done, he had to be running scared.

With her concerns about the police aired, Chas had moved on to the fact Aaron had been keeping things not only from him, but from them all. Going on to loudly protest the fact that not one of them had let her know that Aaron had already had one run-in with Davies, she demanded to know why she was always the last one to know anything where her son was concerned. He'd left Paddy to try to reason out with her and reassure her on that score, Chas' insecurities had been the least of his concerns right then.

The more he thought about Aaron not telling him about Davies' phone calls, the more annoyed, the more angry he got about it. He knew he shouldn't be angry with Aaron, not after what had happened to him, but he was. As much as he loved him, and he did truly love him, he was disappointed in him. Aaron had promised not to keep anything from him where Davies was concerned, but he had, again... and just look where that had got him!

He'd let Chas and Paddy's voices fade into the background, let his gaze settle on Aaron, slowly realising that some of the anger he was feeling was actually directed at himself.

He'd always liked watching Aaron sleep, could happily gaze at him for hours given the chance, leisurely drinking in what he found so very beautiful. But Aaron wasn't lying lost in a peaceful sleep; he was slowly surfacing from the depths of unconsciousness. Although he tried not to think about how the bruises and the swelling that distorted his features had got there, he couldn't stop his thoughts from straying in that direction. In his mind's eye, he could see his boyfriend standing up to Davies, fighting back, the bruised knuckles were proof that he had. The broken arm almost certainly a result of him trying to deflect a blow. Aaron probably wouldn't admit to having been scared, but he knew he would have been, but only because it was Davies, because of what he'd tried to do to him in the past.

Those thoughts had led to him laying into himself. He didn't like to think of Aaron so helpless and scared. He told himself that he should have been there, that he should have been with him, helped him, protected him. That he should never have taken that job; that he should never have left him.

He had realised that even if there hadn't been a Joel, something would have happened. At some point, Davies would have retaliated, that was the kind of man he was. He had a score to settle, he'd threatened Aaron in court, and despite what he had said in his appeal, he would have eventually made good those threats. No, he should never have left Aaron alone, not while that head case was walking the earth. What had he been thinking? He'd had his doubts, was all set to back out of the job but he'd let Aaron talk him into going... no he wasn't going to blame his going on Aaron, it was down to him, it had been his decision...

He'd stopped beating himself up at that point; Aaron was stirring, starting to come to! Relief had flooded through him, drowning his anger, having him forget his concerns, forget the nightmarish situation they found themselves in, for a little while at least.

An expectant silence had fallen around the room, Chas and Paddy on their feet like him, hovering over the bed, waiting for the swollen eyelids to open.

Aaron hadn't been awake for long, just long enough for them to be made aware of the fact he remembered nothing of his ordeal, that his last memory was one of going to bed.

At first, he'd felt relief, but in almost the same instance, he'd realised that it wasn't a good thing, that Aaron needed to remember what had happened. With the blue eyes shuttered again, he'd gone in search of the doctor, wanting some explanation, some reassurance. The doctor had told him that it wasn't all that unusual for amnesia to follow such an event, but he could give him no guarantees of his memory returning. He advised him not to tell Aaron what had happened, not until he was stronger, and more with it.

He hadn't expected that to be today. But by early evening, Aaron was asking questions, demanding answers, and they'd found themselves reluctantly telling him the awful truth.

Aaron had shut down on them then, there had been no more questions, no more mention of what had happened. Such silent brooding, especially where Aaron was concerned, wasn't healthy, but he wasn't so sure pushing him to open up was the right thing to do either, not yet anyway.

Thankfully, the doctor had refused the police permission to speak to Aaron today, but he would probably have to ok it tomorrow.

He didn't want tomorrow to come! If Aaron couldn't remember what had happened last night, how could he convince the police of his innocence?

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Spectre

Part 16

Once again, he had opened his eyes and found himself in an alien world, one that scared him. He didn't like being in hospital... but then, who did? He would have liked to have got out of bed there and then, and gone home, but the outside world wasn't any more appealing right now, it scared him too. Some awful thing had happened out there and the fact he couldn't remember anything about it terrified him. Why couldn't he remember? Was it the beating he'd apparently taken or was it that his mind just didn't want the event played over and over again? Had it been that ugly, that traumatic? Was it something he'd needed desperately to forget?

His head ached mercilessly, he was tired, he felt so weak, and there was no part of him that didn't hurt in some way. But his mind was clear, he could remember Joel turning up, talking to Jackson on the phone, he could remember the guilt he felt for not being completely honest with him, and he could remember going to bed, especially the fact that Jackson wasn't lying beside him... but he could remember nothing after that!

If someone had told him he'd been run over by a bus, or trampled by a raging bull, as unlikely as that sounded, the way he was feeling right now, he'd have readily believed them. But beaten unconscious by Chris, and Chris dead as a result? He was struggling to accept that, he didn't want to believe that. As much as he hated the man, he hadn't wanted him dead... or had he? Maybe at the time he had, maybe he'd had reason to want to kill him...he didn't like where his thoughts were again leading, he didn't want to think about what might have happened, what Chris might have done to him, so he forced his mind back on to the present, to where he was now.

He thought he was alone in the dimly lit room. The chair where Jackson had been sitting was empty, but then he realised, with some great measure of relief, that Jackson was still with him, that he was standing over by the window, looking out into the night. His boyfriend had his back to him, but he could tell by his stance, by his posture, that he was lost in thought. He knew exactly what was on his mind, what was troubling him so deeply, and he hated himself for bringing all this upset on them, for turning their world upside down.

He didn't want Jackson to know he was awake, not yet anyway, he knew they needed to talk but he wasn't ready to, was scared to, was scared of what might be said, of hearing something else he wasn't going to like, something else he wasn't sure he could live with.

Jackson's eyes were fixed on the car park below, but he'd not been aware of anything other than the thoughts in his head, but something had brought him out of his reverie and he suddenly had a feeling he was being watched. He turned around expecting to find Aaron awake, only to see his eyes were still shut. A little disappointed by that he stepped back over to the bed, resuming his seat, his vigil.

He was admittedly at a low ebb. His thoughts had really brought him down, and he had wanted to hear Aaron's voice, had desperately been in need of some confirmation that he really was ok. He'd wanted to be able to tell him that he loved him, that he was sorry he hadn't been there for him, not when he'd really needed him. Aaron was the most important person in his life, he was his life! Yet he'd let something terrible happen to him. Well, he wasn't going to let him down again. He wanted to make him a promise he was determined to move heaven and earth to keep, and that was that they would get through this, that he would make it all alright. He was just going to have to wait a little longer to say all those things.

Jackson was back in the chair by his bed, he'd heard him sigh wearily as he'd dropped down into it. He had to be tired, he probably hadn't had any sleep, was too worried about him to be able to rest, and here he was pretending to be asleep, deliberately avoiding talking to him. Keeping things from him again! How could he, how could he treat him so badly? He loved him but still, he kept on hurting him, and in the very same way.

He forced his eyes open, letting them settle on his boyfriend's face. He watched the brown eyes widen, a smile then play across the handsome face, and seeing the love for him there, he felt a surge of emotion, it going on to quickly overwhelm him... "I'm sorry."

"Aaron! What is it?"

Jackson had leapt to his feet, moved to sit on the bed beside him, wrapping one hand around his whilst his free hand gently wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry." It was all he could get passed his lips, all he felt able to say because he was sorry for so many things, things he'd done, things he hadn't done, for what he couldn't remember doing, for what might have been done to him.

"None of this is your fault, none of it's your doing, it was Davies..."

"Jackson did he..." Suddenly he had to know, needed desperately to know, "Did Chris... did he..." He felt sick at the very thought of it, at the images conjured up by his mind's eye. The nausea was welling up inside of him, threatening to choke him if he dared utter the ugly words, "... because if he did then maybe that's why I can't remember, because I...I wouldn't want to remember that.."

"No!" Why the hell hadn't he reassured Aaron about that before now? He should have realised just how great a fear it would be to him. He should have made the one thing he did know for certain clear from the start, but he hadn't and so had failed him again! "No, he didn't, nothing like that happened, I swear." He'd determinedly held Aaron's tearful gaze and said the words gently but firmly, he didn't want Aaron left with any doubts, and with him not remembering, there just might be. The fact was, the police had wanted that detail confirmed and the doctor had been able to, Davies' assault on Aaron had been physical, not sexual. 

More tears, only these tears were falling for a different reason, still they were hard to watch fall, and the need to comfort the younger man was as always, like his love for him, all consuming, and he reached for him, mindful of his injuries, gently wrapping his arms around him, holding him as he let go of some emotion. At last, he felt like he was doing something, at last, he felt like he was of some help, and now he could say the words he'd been so longing to say.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Spectre

Part 17

This time, when Aaron had opened his eyes, a nurse had been standing beside his bed, writing something on his chart; she had smiled at him, asked him how he was, if he needed anything, and all in a hushed voice, one barely above a whisper. Glancing over at Jackson, he knew why: his boyfriend was fast asleep.

He was well aware it was morning, daylight was evident through the blinds, still he had no idea of what time it was. Looking at the Staff Nurse's fob watch, he could see, even though it was upside down to him, that it was just after six o'clock. It was the start of a day he didn't want anything to mar, to spoil... it was Jackson's birthday... but just how did he go about ensuring that nothing did? How did he go about making it anywhere near special for him now? There was no escaping recent events, a black, oppressive cloud hovered over them, still he could keep the mood positive and upbeat for one day, couldn't he? How hard would that be?

The nurse, seemingly determined to do something for him before leaving, had plumped up his pillows, and then encouraged him to go back to sleep, promising not to disturb him again, at least not for another few hours. She'd been kind and friendly, all smiles, yet he couldn't help but wonder what she made of it all, what she made of him. She had to know what had happened, what the police suspected him of doing. Everyone had to know by now. Even if the gossips of Emmerdale hadn't managed to spread the news to all and sundry, his face was probably plastered across the front page of this morning's Hotton Courier, the headline accompanying the picture sensational in its wording, and bold in its lettering! He didn't suppose the fact he was involved in a murder enquiry would come as any great shock to some people, he'd earned himself a reputation on first arriving in Emmerdale, and even now, having proved himself to be a responsible adult, there were a few locals who still eyed him with suspicion.

Telling himself he didn't care what those people thought of him, or what they might believe him capable of doing, he let his gaze settle on Jackson. He was relieved to see he was finally getting some sleep, relieved that he had, for a short while at least, escaped all the worry surrounding them.

He shifted miserably against the pillows, he just couldn't get comfortable, his ribs hurt like hell. He had refused the strong painkillers the nurse had offered him, they made him groggy, and he was determined not to fall back asleep. He wanted to be awake when Jackson opened his eyes; he wanted to be the first to wish him a 'Happy Birthday', just like he had on each and every one of his birthdays since they'd been together. He tried to concentrate on those times, on the good memories they held as he'd waited for Jackson to wake up, but his thoughts had inevitably strayed to Chris, and to Joel, and to what had happened the other night.

He was really struggling with the knowledge that Chris was dead. Aside from his temper, the jealousy, the extreme violence, all the many negative things about him, he'd had such an intense physical presence, such a life force... it was hard to believe he was gone, and what made it still harder to believe was the fact he was somehow involved in his death. He was really struggling with that, too. He knew no one close to him wanted to believe that he'd been the one who'd stabbed Chris. Jackson, his mum and Paddy were all convinced it was Joel who was responsible for that, but what if it wasn't, what if it was him who had done it?

Knowing a beating had been the extent of Chris's assault on him had come as an incredible relief, but not knowing exactly what had gone on that night was eating away at him, and would until he knew the truth. He was well aware of the fact he'd not talked about it, he knew he needed to and to Jackson, and that he was also going to have to talk to the police about it. For once, Jackson wasn't pushing him on opening up, he was patiently waiting it out, giving him the time he needed to take it all in, but the police wouldn't! He was dreading talking to them, having to go over what had happened in the past, having them pick over what had happened since Chris's release, having them grill him on the other night and they would... they would be after a confession!

And as for Joel? How could he run out on him like that? He was a fine one to ask such a question! He'd run off himself enough times in the past to understand how Joel could just take off. He knew well the emotion that fuelled that sort of flight... fear! But had Joel bolted because of something he'd witnessed or because of something he'd done?

Jackson was beginning to stir. His thoughts, just like his gaze, settled on him because any second now, he'd open his eyes and... "Happy Birthday!"

His boyfriend had smiled on hearing the greeting, and then moved to sit on his bed, leaning in to thank him with a kiss, a gentle brush of his bruised and swollen lips.

They'd celebrated the occasion last weekend, but it was suddenly important they do it all again, "As soon as we can, we'll go somewhere, do something..." He paused mid-promise, despite his intention to keep things positive, he found himself wondering just when that was likely to be, when their life would get back to normal, if it would ever get back to normal. He'd been about to suggest they get a takeaway that evening, he'd be home by then and, although it was only a small gesture to mark the day, it was something. But Jackson had been quick to fill the silence with...

"Paddy said you were planning on coming down to see me."

He could see just how pleased Jackson was by that idea, and he wondered if he should leave it at that. He didn't want a row, not today of all days, and he was risking just that if he admitted he'd kept something in regards to Chris from him, especially after he'd given him his word not to. He quickly realised he couldn't, that he had to tell Jackson everything and now, "Yeah, I wanted to see you, spend some part of today with you... and I needed to tell you something, something I couldn't tell you over the phone."

"Oh?" Jackson eyed Aaron expectantly.

"Chris rang me. I wanted to tell you, I didn't like keeping it from you, but I knew you'd worry, that you'd come straight home, I thought if I told you in person you wouldn't overreact, that you'd trust me to deal with it." The words had spewed without pause from his mouth; he hadn't wanted to give Jackson a chance to interrupt, he wanted him to hear him out, and now that he had, he was expecting an angry reaction, but his boyfriend was eyeing him calmly. "Jackson?"

"I know about the calls, the police know and they asked me about them." He felt a lot better knowing Aaron had intended telling him about them, and he could understand his decision to wait and tell him face to face. But the younger man seemed to be expecting some sort of reproach from him and after their last major bust-up, he could well understand why, but he wasn't going to get one, just a show of understanding, "Aaron..."

He was well and truly on the defensive now, he hadn't forgotten the last bollocking Jackson had given him, he certainly didn't want another one, and anyway he really didn't think he deserved one, "I know what you're going to say, but I'm not that eighteen-year-old Chris took for a ride! I'm four years older, four years wiser. I've grown up, and I've proved I can deal with difficult situations, that I can reason things out, that I can do the right thing without any prompting from you! I don't need you to hold my hand, I don't need a babysitter..."

"Aaron!" Where had that come from? He was taken aback by his boyfriend's words, but he had to accept he had a point, he would admit to being overprotective of him, and could see that his actions might have come across as condescending at times, "Look, I..."

"I did what I thought was right, what I thought was best for everyone. I'm not going to apologise for that."

"I don't expect you to." Jackson soothed, capturing Aaron's hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly, if anyone needed to apologise, it was him, for making things difficult for Aaron, for not giving him the credit he was due. Well all that was about to change, he just wished it hadn't taken something like this to open his eyes.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Spectre

Part 18

Jackson had gotten as far as the hospital's main entrance before he'd started to have second thoughts about walking out on Aaron, especially having left him on such a bitter note. They'd argued! What a time to be arguing, they should be pulling together, not baring their teeth at each other.

He'd tried to hold his tongue, he'd tried to let it go over his head, but there was only so much he could take, and Aaron was being so bloody unreasonable! He himself was tired and worried, not a good combination at the best of times, so add a stubborn, irritable Aaron into the mix and you had a recipe for a row.

He shouldn't have let things get so out of hand though, he should have tried harder to ignore Aaron's behaviour, reasoned with him some more, he knew only too well what he was like and considering what had happened, he had reason to be on edge, tetchy.

Stepping out into the summer sunshine, into the refreshing morning breeze, he inhaled deeply, taking several more steadying breaths in an attempt to sooth his frayed nerves. As he did so, Jackson realised that he was going to have to go back up to Aaron's room and put things right between them... it wasn't a matter of having to, but of wanting to. He'd give himself a few more minutes to calm down, just to be sure his temper was back under lock and key.

/

So much for his promise to keep today positive and upbeat! After wishing Jackson a happy birthday, things had gone rapidly downhill. He hadn't wanted an apology from Jackson, he hadn't wanted to make him feel he was the only one in the wrong... but he obviously had, and knowing that had done nothing for his flagging spirits.

That's where things had started to get awkward, the conversation stilted, from him it was anyway, he was regretting his earlier outburst, more than a little wary of what might come out of his big mouth next.

A diversion of sorts had arrived a little while later, a nurse carrying his breakfast tray. Unfortunately, it soon turned into another cause of friction between the two of them. By rights, it should have been a simple enough task to eat cornflakes and toast, but not for him it wasn't. Not with a drip in his left hand and his right arm encased in fibreglass, the restrictions compounded by the right side of his chest vehemently protesting any and all movement he made.

He'd slapped Jackson's helping hands away, telling him he didn't need any help when all the time he knew he did. He'd found buttering a slice of toast surprisingly troublesome. In his determined attempts to prove it wasn't impossible, he'd dropped his knife, the damn thing somehow ending up under his bed. Jackson had picked the offending object up before he'd even got his sorry backside off the bed, much to his annoyance.

Wanting to avoid any further upset, he'd suggested his boyfriend go to the hospital canteen to get himself something to eat, but Jackson wouldn't go, had insisted he'd get something at Paddy's later. He wasn't all that hungry himself, his appetite having deserted him, but he knew if he didn't look to be eating and drinking, the doctor wouldn't take the drip out, let alone discharge him, and suddenly he desperately wanted out of this 'prison'.

Breakfast over, yet another nurse had appeared, a male one this time. Introducing himself as Tom, he'd asked Aaron if he needed any assistance with his personal needs. Aaron had opened his mouth to say a polite 'thanks but no thanks', only for Jackson to get in first with an assurance for Tom, saying that he would help him with anything he couldn't do for himself. Now, that had really pissed him off, he could speak for himself! He'd glared over at Jackson but he seemed oblivious to what he'd done and to the withering look he was getting because of it. Things had then quickly gone from bad to worse.

/

He was in the lift now, too weary to take the stairs, and anyway it was quicker, or should be, but not this morning. No, sods law was working against him or so it seemed, the lift was stopping at every friggin' floor, people taking their time getting in and out.

As he waited for his floor to loom, he thought about the heated exchange he'd had with Aaron, shaking his head as he remembered what had been said, at his own display of temper. The side room his boyfriend was in had its own bathroom, small and basic but it served its purpose. Aaron had locked himself in there after telling him, in no uncertain terms, that he was more than capable of washing himself and cleaning his own teeth. Had he said he couldn't? No... but he had forgotten himself and spoke on Aaron's behalf, well the mood the younger man was in he'd half expected Aaron to tell Nurse Tom, to 'piss off' for just doing his job.

He'd hovered by the closed door, listening to Aaron turn the air blue as he struggled with his ablutions. The one time he did dare ask if there was anything he could do to help, he had been met by the sound of the toilet flushing. He'd grinned at that, at Aaron's novel way of telling him where to go, but his amusement had quickly waned.

Aaron had come out of the bathroom more irritable than when he'd gone in; he was obviously in a lot of discomfort but, of course, wouldn't admit to it. Despite the extensive bruises on his face, Jackson could see he was flushed, and that pain induced beads of perspiration glistened there too, he'd obviously done too much too soon.

That's when the doctor had decided to visit his patient, not liking the condition he found him in. Aaron had made it clear that he wanted to go home, but the doctor was not at all happy to let him go. He was worried about the broken ribs, wanted to keep him in to ensure he rested, that he didn't do anything to cause any complications, like one of the said damaged ribs puncturing his lung.

On hearing that possibility aired Jackson had sided with the doctor, earning himself yet another angry glare from his boyfriend. He thought he could talk Aaron round, make him see the sense in staying in hospital for a few more days, but no. The doctor having left the room, Aaron had turned on him, loudly letting his feelings known on his perceived betrayal.

He hadn't been able to reason with him, Aaron suddenly getting it in his head to sign himself out. He'd let his boyfriend know how childish he was being, calling him stupid amongst other things, Aaron retaliating with some equally hurtful ammunition of his own. He'd eventually told Aaron to do what the hell he liked, that he didn't care anymore, then he'd stormed from the room. It seemed he could do childish, too!

/

Aaron's anger had quickly subsided, he was now regretting his behaviour, wondering if he should go after Jackson, apologise, tell him he wouldn't leave the hospital against the doctor's wishes, against his wishes. He didn't think it was such a good idea the way he was feeling right now though, dizzy and sick, he didn't want to humiliate himself by passing out, especially in a hospital gown that covered little more than it ought. He was just going to have to cling to the hope that Jackson was regretting what had been said too, that he'd make his way back here to him.

As he'd willed the door to open, for Jackson to walk in through it, a knock had come on it, startling him. Two strangers had then walked into his room, they weren't in uniform, but he knew instantly it was the police.

He was thrown, caught off guard; it was the last thing he was expecting, not then anyway. When they asked if they could talk to him, he said yes, not realising he could in fact say no, that he was within his rights to refuse.

Barely a minute after they sat down, Jackson had returned, loudly protesting the police's presence, insisting they leave, telling them they couldn't speak to him here, not on his own, not without a solicitor present.

The investigating officers weren't about to give up though, and asked him again if they could speak to him and this time he refused, suddenly scared, suddenly realising his mistake, the hot water he could have gotten himself into.

Before leaving, they had driven home the urgency in which they needed to talk to him, they insisted he get in touch with his solicitor today, that he arrange a time to speak to them today. As the door closed behind them, Jackson had turned to him, not even trying to hide his astonishment and saying...

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Aaron could only shake his head, he hadn't been thinking straight, his head was a mess... just like his life seemed to be right now.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Spectre

Part 19

Aaron couldn't believe he'd done something so stupid. It wasn't like he was innocent of the law, of its workings, he'd been hauled into a police station more than once when he lived with his dad, when he'd punched Jackson, he knew the drill. So why let himself get into such a situation? He hadn't been thinking, that's why, not clearly anyway, his head had been all over the place, and still was. It didn't help that Jackson was staring incredulously at him now; his unease was steadily growing under the weight of Jackson's unwavering gaze. His boyfriend seemed temporarily lost for words, but any second now he knew he'd let rip, loudly questioning his intelligence again.

It was the last thing he needed right now, his head was thumping, some invisible hammer was pounding away at his temple, and his strength seemed to have walked out the door with the police. He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep, escape the bad feeling and the nightmare his life had become.

He knew they needed to talk, that he owed Jackson an apology at the very least, maybe if he got that said it would diffuse the present situation a little. Some birthday this was turning out to be! As he dithered over just what to say, Jackson reached into his jeans pocket for his phone, then started to irritably tap away on it.

He breathed a sigh of relief as Jackson's attention moved elsewhere. But as Jackson waited for his call to be answered, his gaze again settled on him, his mouth opening to deliver a statement that left Aaron stunned...

"No way are you leaving this fuckin' hospital, not until the doctor says you can!"

Half an hour ago, he'd have told Jackson just where to get off, asked him who the hell he thought he was laying down the law to him. But not now, there was just no fight left in him... and anyway, he found he didn't want to, that he actually liked the authoritative, no nonsense air emanating from Jackson, the security it offered.

Jackson was eyeing him expectantly now, seemingly waiting for a come back, some rebellion on his part, ready to shoot him down in flames should he protest. He dropped his gaze in a meek show of defeat.

A second later, as he listened to Jackson's side of the phone conversation, he realised just who it was his boyfriend had phoned and why. It was Paddy on the other end of the line, Jackson asking the other man to contact their solicitor ASAP. He had gone on to detail the events of the last ten minutes, highlighting his stupidity as he did so.

Aaron shrank further into his chair, letting his heavy eyelids drift shut, trying to lose himself in the soothing darkness. Then, suddenly, he was aware of silence, and sensed a set of eyes on him again, he forced his own open, reluctantly meeting Jackson's gaze.

His boyfriend didn't look any less angry with him, so he wasn't at all surprised when he stalked across the room to stand over him, starting in on him again.

"I don't know why the hell I apologised to you, because I was right! What I said the other week was true. You are your own worst enemy. You do need protecting from yourself! And as for what you said earlier, you couldn't be more wrong. You do need someone holding your hand. You do need a baby sitter. You need me!"

Just like the other week, he didn't think Jackson was being at all fair, but that last bit was certainly true. "Jackson..."

"Don't you move from there!"

Jackson had barked that order at him. Before he could respond, the older man had turned around and made for the door, giving no explanation as to where he was going. Aaron was certain he'd be back though, and he was, just minutes later. But Jackson wasn't on his own, the male nurse was with him, a medication pot in his hand. It seemed Jackson thought he was in need of some pain relief. He couldn't argue with that, his chest felt like it was on fire, he wanted to cough but didn't dare, and so he took the analgesia offered him without protest.

As Tom left the room, Jackson tossed back the covers on his bed, quickly readying it for use before gesturing for him to get in. The way he was feeling, he had no intentions of arguing about that either, but he wanted things right between him and Jackson first. Aaron didn't like the way he was snapping at him, the unpleasant atmosphere that lingered, that filled the entire room, and so he tried again to get him to listen. "Jackson..."

"The doctor said you were to rest, and bed is the best place for that, so get in."

He could hear the annoyance in Jackson's voice, the impatience, he hated it, it wasn't the Jackson he knew. He heaved himself to his feet, the effort making him catch his breath, he had to close his eyes as the room began to spin around him, and as a roaring sound filled his ears, he realised he needed to lie down before he fell down.

"C'mon."

Jackson had spoken again, only this time his voice was soft and gentle, just like his hands... he'd caught hold of him, steadied him, and before he knew it, he was being eased into his bed. As Jackson pulled the covers up over him, he was reminded of another time, the night Chris had... the night Jackson had come to his rescue. He had been at his lowest ebb, his most vulnerable, Jackson had had to help him to bed, had stayed with him, had held him close and made him feel safe. Like then, he felt the tension leave his body, like then, he let himself drift off to sleep.

But it hadn't been a peaceful sleep, not one you woke up rested from... he'd woken up in a cold sweat. He didn't always remember his dreams, but he could remember the images and emotions felt in the dream he'd just had. He'd dreamt about Chris! At least, he thought it had been a dream, maybe it was a memory surfacing.

The two of them had been arguing, Chris accusing him of sleeping with Joel, then he was suddenly aware of holding something in his hand, realising with horror that it was a knife. He'd noticed then that Chris was lying on the floor, bleeding... dying!

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Spectre

Part 20

Jackson wasn't in the room when he woke up, but his jacket was on the chair so he knew he hadn't gone far. It gave him a chance to compose himself, to get his thoughts in order. He didn't like the feeling the dream, and it had to be a dream, left him with, and that was a sense of dread, of guilt!

When Jackson had returned a little while later, he was carrying a plastic cup in his hand, he'd been to get himself a hot drink. Things still weren't right between them, and he didn't want either one of them carrying that extra burden right now, so he'd got in quick with his apology, they'd talked then, cleared the air. Jackson had remained in 'no nonsense' mode though, and so when he'd asked him how he was feeling, he'd resisted the urge to lie and say 'fine' and had been honest, admitting to feeling lousy. He kept wanting to cough but knew his ribs would give him hell if he did. Jackson had decided he didn't look well, that he had too much colour in his cheeks, and despite his protests had again gone in search of a nurse. They would think him a right whinger the way things were going!

Half an hour later, he'd been seen first by a nurse, then a doctor, and told he had a chest infection brewing, which meant IV antibiotic and chest physio... even more fuss and attention. He hated it. Still, if he was to go home on Monday, he was going to have to grin and bear it.

When finally left alone again, he'd realised Jackson wasn't looking too good himself. He looked tired and pale, his eyes lacking their usual sparkle, he needed to go home and get some proper sleep. He'd been about to try and talk him into doing just that when Jackson's phone had started to ring, it had been Paddy with some news. David Smith, their solicitor, was calling to see him later that afternoon, and had arranged for the police to speak to him after he had; he would also be present for the police interview.

That was all a good few hours away and, pointing out that fact, Aaron had managed to persuade Jackson to go home... well to Paddy's, grab a shower and, after putting his head down for a few hours, come back with some clothes for him. He'd feel a lot more comfortable talking to the police in a tee-shirt and trackies rather than in a hospital gown.

Jackson had reluctantly left him, and in the hours he was gone, he had tried to remember what had happened between him and Chris, tried and failed. He couldn't get his head around that fact; he could remember every detail about Joel, but after going to bed, nothing!

He had tried not to think about the dream, it had unnerved him, sickened him, but having realised it might be of some help, he'd gone over what had happened in it. All these hours later, it was still so vivid, so real. They were in the kitchen, the back door open, he was backing away from Chris, he'd been scared, he could still feel that sense of fear now. The older man's blue eyes were dark with rage, his face contorted in anger, and he was shouting at him, like he had down the phone earlier that day. Chris was accusing him of sleeping with Joel, and he was denying it, trying to reason with him. The scene jumped then, they were in the living room, Chris still raging at him, then suddenly it all went quiet, his attention on the knife in his hand, he'd stared at it, strangely fascinated by it, then he'd remembered Chris, had looked around the room for him. Then he'd seen him, lying on the floor, eyes open, a strange gurgling sound coming from his mouth. He'd woken up then, and the clarity of the dream had left him shaking, nausea threatening to overwhelm him.

Then, like now, one thing about the dream stood out, and that was the fact that Joel wasn't in it... it had just been him and Chris...so what did that tell him? Well, if he took it at face value, it meant that it was him who had stabbed Chris! Why hadn't he dreamt about that part though? Why?

A physiotherapist had arrived then, saving him from one kind of torture only to introduce him to another. She'd told him that, because of his broken ribs, he wasn't breathing properly; she'd soon put that right, and had him coughing too. He'd felt worse after, not better! Yeah, he was turning into a whinger alright.

He'd fallen asleep in the chair, exhausted from his efforts, waking up on hearing the door open, pleased to see it was Jackson, and that he was looking a lot better than when he'd left. He hadn't come empty-handed either, he'd brought with him half a dozen or so Get Well cards and some tasty treats from Pearl.

They still had some stuff stored at Paddy's and Jackson had managed to find them both some clothes. Oak Cottage was still out of bounds, but the police had released both Jackson's van and their car, that was something he supposed.

He might have told himself he didn't care what people thought, but he did, and asked Jackson what was being said in the village, what was being said about him. It wasn't the first murder to have taken place in Emmerdale, and for such a small village, it had had more than its fair share of scandals and tragedies, this being the latest in a long and shocking list. He knew who the gossip mongers were, knew they'd be having a field day, so, did they think he'd done it?

It seemed everyone was concerned about him, the cards adding credence to that. He'd tried to keep Chris' trial and the events leading to it quiet, but even though the Courier hadn't printed his name when reporting it, it was soon common knowledge that he had been the one involved with Chris. There had been plenty of understanding and support in its wake, it seemed that was continuing now.

Half an hour after Jackson had arrived, David Smith had walked through the door. Aaron was suddenly nervous, scared, his solicitor's presence made it all official, this was where the fight to clear his name began... only he wasn't so sure he was innocent... he was beginning to think he had killed Chris!

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Spectre

Part 21

Jackson had stood up to greet David Smith, the two men shaking hands and exchanging a few friendly words before the older man's attention had settled on him. Smith's eyes had narrowed, a frown forming on his face. Aaron wasn't sure what to make of the grave look he was giving him. For a second he thought it was because the practiced eye could see his guilt, but it was soon clear it was down to concern.

"Aaron. You look dreadful! Are you sure you're up to this? I could come back tomorrow, delay the police interview a day or two..."

"No. I'm fine, I don't want them thinking I'm avoiding talking to them, that I've got something to hide..."

"Only, he's not fine," Jackson interrupted. "Far from it..."

Aaron listened incredulously as his boyfriend went on to detail not only his injuries but also the recent complication, going on then to make way too much of the fact the doctor had refused to discharge him that morning because of his concerns.

"Maybe I should speak to the doctor? Get his advice?"

"No!" Aaron was getting annoyed now, Smith had addressed that question to Jackson, like he wasn't there, ignoring him like he was a kid, one that didn't know what was good for him. Alright, so he'd let Jackson take charge earlier, but that was different, this was his decision and his alone to make. He wanted to get it over with, hopefully then he would have some idea of where he stood. As it was now, he felt completely in the dark about it all. He wanted answers too, even if they weren't what he wanted to hear. "I said I'm fine and I am."

"But are you thinking clearly? You have a temperature, you're on medication, both can cloud the mind..."

"I told you I'm fine!" He hadn't meant to snap, but despite what he'd said, he really was feeling rough, and that made him all the more irritable. He held Smith's searching gaze determinedly, relieved when Smith finally eased himself into the chair Jackson had just vacated. He could tell by his posture that Smith was now in business mode, his tone of voice echoing the fact.

"Alright, let's get started."

As Smith opened his briefcase, removing what he needed from it, Aaron forced his gaze to meet Jackson's. He'd been expecting an exasperated look in return, but all he'd seen in the brown eyes was concern and love. He took strength from that, and as Jackson sat on the bed beside him, he turned to look at his solicitor.

"So...did you do it? Did you stab Christopher Davies through the heart?"

"No!" He'd forgotten just how direct Smith could be with his questioning, how he threw you a curve ball when you least expected it. He'd caught him out that way before, and Jackson, Chris, too, when he'd been in the dock, he'd skilfully shown him for what he was. David Smith had the knack of getting to the truth, but would he be able to get it from him? "I ... I mean I don't know. I don't remember, I don't remember what happened."

"What does the doctor say about you not remembering?"

He could only shrug; he'd not spoken to the doctor about it. He looked over at his boyfriend; Jackson was going to have to fill Smith in on that bit. He was annoyed at himself for not having asked, it was important after all, and that omission on his part now gave credence to Smith's earlier concerns.

After Jackson had elaborated, Smith had said, "I'd like to speak to the doctor concerned, but I'll need your consent."

"You've got it." He couldn't see how it would help but then, what did he know?

"The night it happened, the night Davies died, I believe that wasn't your first contact with him since his release from prison, correct?"

"No." Aaron guessed Paddy had filled Smith in as best he could.

"Right, from the start, I want to know everything, don't leave anything out."

He'd started off by telling Smith about finding the holdall at the garage, Smith interrupting him mid-flow to ask if he'd told anyone about it at the time, if anyone had seen Chris that morning. He'd had to say no, that he'd purposefully kept it from everyone; he had to keep repeating that line as he worked his way through the sorry tale.

"So, although Jackson, Paddy and a Mr Marlon Dingle were all at that club with you that night, not one of them saw Davies? They didn't see this lad Davies was with either, Joel, the one you warned off?"

"No."

"Do they have CCTV there?"

"I don't know, probably." He hadn't noticed any, but most places did now, if so it might well have recorded Joel, that would help track him down.

"I'll check, but the police will no doubt have been in touch with them already."

Picking up where he left off, he told Smith how the police had called at the house the next day, that Davies had reported him for making threats against him.

"Did they mention this Joel?"

He'd had to think about that, but no, they hadn't. He'd moved then to how Joel had eventually phoned the garage asking for him, only remembering then that Cain had taken the call, his uncle would have no problem confirming that. He couldn't remember exactly how long it was after that that Joel had phoned again, turning up later that day. Smith wanted dates and times, telling him the police would insist on them, he though just couldn't remember, not exactly, but he was going to have to, somehow.

"Was anyone around at the time, could anyone have seen him?"

"I don't remember." He hadn't taken any notice of what was going on around him; he'd been desperately trying to make Joel see sense where Chris was concerned.

"What about his car? You're a mechanic, you have an interest in cars, what do you remember about it?''

He had to wrack his brains for what little information he had absorbed, it was a red Peugeot, at least he thought it was, it was definitely red, he'd not taken much notice of it, his mind had been focused on Joel, not on the make of car he was driving. He certainly hadn't taken any notice of the number plate, why would he? He knew he wasn't being of much help, his details of something that could be important little more than sketchy; how would the police see all this, the secrecy especially showed him in a bad light. He was losing concentration now, his mind wandering, Smith having to encourage him on. He was now telling him about the phone call he'd received from Chris, detailing the one-sided conversation, the threats Davies had made, Jackson hearing them for the first time. He couldn't look at his boyfriend as he repeated them; he didn't want to see the emotion he had to be feeling right then.

"Again, you didn't tell anyone?"

"No, I planned on telling Jackson in person, and Paddy when I got back. I was just trying to keep a lid on things, if I'd known what was going to happen... I didn't want Davies dead."

Smith was nodding, but he couldn't read his expression, he had the sudden urge to ask him what he thought, if he believed he'd killed Chris. The words stuck in his throat, he was suddenly scared of his answer, and Smith had moved on anyway.

"So, what do you remember of that night?"

"Joel knocking on the door, he'd taken a beating, he said he had nowhere else to go, so I told him he could stay. I made him something to eat. Rang Jackson, let him know Joel was staying at ours and why. Then I moved Joel's car off the road, I remember going to bed... the next thing, I was waking up here."

There was an agonizing silence while Smith finished making his notes, finally his gaze met his, and he knew he wasn't going to like what the older man was about to say.

"It's not looking good, but that could and hopefully will change. I've spoken to the police, they've shared some of what they know. It's damning if taken at face value. They told me they've found no evidence of anyone else being in the house at the time of Davies' death. And that the only fingerprints found on the knife used on Christopher Davies were yours."

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Spectre

Part 22

Aaron struggled to digest what his solicitor had just told him, the words just kept on swirling round and round in his head. Dazed, he stared unseeingly at the older man.

"Aaron, do you understand what I said, what the police's initial findings mean?"

The question had slowly registered and he blinked in an effort to focus on the figure sitting in front of him. He nodded then forced the horrifying realisation past his lips, "That I did it. That I killed Chris." He hadn't wanted to believe it but now there seemed to be no doubt...

"No!" Jackson's protest echoed loudly around the room, "David's not saying that at all."

"No, I'm not! I'm saying that as things stand, we have a fight on our hands to prove otherwise! I don't for one minute believe you did it, my gut feeling is it was Davies' boyfriend..."

"Joel!" Try as he might right now, Aaron couldn't imagine Joel using a knife on anyone, but as for him? Well, he had a history of violence. Lashing out with his fists had come easy to him once, something would set him off and his temper would just erupt into rage. He'd fought back or had tried to fight back against Chris before, only to find it was like hitting a brick wall... maybe this time he'd seen a knife as his only option?

"Yes, Joel! If you say he was there, then I believe you. There has to be a reason for him to have suddenly legged it after he was all set to stay the night. I believe he's run from what he did..."

"Or what he saw me do."

"Aaron..."

"I hated Chris! If he showed up, if he started in on me, and he obviously did, then maybe I did it in self-defence, or maybe I just lost it..."

"Aaron, you have to stop this now! You're trying to convince yourself of your own guilt; the police will pick up on that and happily help you in your quest..."

"But, what if I did do it? What if I did kill Chris?" He was suddenly desperate for a straight answer to that question.

"Then, I'll still be fighting your corner, I'll still be on your side, we all will."

He could only nod his head in understanding, he hadn't doubted it for a minute, but he was suddenly scared and wanted to hear that reassurance said out loud.

"I think you've had enough for today... let me talk to the police, get them to postpone the interview."

"No, I want it over with; I want it out of the way."

David Smith was finding it hard to ignore the pleading tone of the younger man, even if it did go against his better judgment. He knew how stubborn the lad was and reasoned that it might be best to try and reach a compromise, "Just for a few hours? Until this evening? So you can get some rest, some sleep."

"No."

"Yes!" Jackson insisted, Smith was right to be concerned, Aaron had been flushed before, but now he was unnaturally pale, his blue eyes clouded, lacking their usual lustre, he'd been slurring his words at times too. He was clearly exhausted, he couldn't go through a police interview, one that would no doubt go on for hours, not the state he was in. For that ordeal, he needed to recoup some strength and have all his wits about him.

Aaron heaved a resolved sigh as the last of the fight drained from him. He knew there was no point arguing the toss with his boyfriend, not the mood he was in today, and anyway he was finding it hard to keep his eyes open. A few hours' kip and he'd be fine, ready for anything... or so he wanted to believe.

/

After swallowing another two painkillers, he'd let Jackson help him into bed; he'd fallen asleep as soon as his aching head had hit the pillow. But like last time, his rest was disturbed, marred by a string of ugly images, vivid, frightening images, an all-too-real assault on his senses... an open door, a display of rage, and once again a knife, sharp... dripping with blood, Chris's blood. The same crimson fluid on his hands, its sickly, coppery smell polluting the air around him... a sudden, eerie silence, one eventually broken by the sound of a man choking... choking on his own blood!

Panicked, he fought against the hands restraining him, tried to ignore the voice calling to him from the darkness. He didn't want to look, he didn't want to see the man who was holding him down. He just wanted to get away, to escape his hands, his touch!

But the voice... the voice, it wasn't about to be ignored, it was insistent; it kept calling his name over and over. It wasn't the voice he'd heard before though. There was no anger in this voice, just... just what... desperation? He didn't understand, it didn't make any sense, it wasn't accusing him of anything, it wasn't threatening him, it was just telling him to... telling him to wake up!

He realised he could trust this voice and so he stopped his struggling, opened his eyes, melted in relief against Jackson, feeling his arms tighten around him.

"You were dreaming, having a nightmare. I couldn't wake you... you scared the hell out of me!"

He could hear Jackson's heart thundering in his chest, proof of the effect the experience had had on him. What he was about to say wasn't going to do anything to soothe his concerns, "I wasn't dreaming, I was remembering..."

"What?"

He buried his face in Jackson's chest, wanting to hide his shame, "Jackson... it was just me and Chris, one minute he was standing there, angry, in my face, the next... he's lying on the floor dying and I've got the knife in my hand! It was me, it had to be me!

Jackson had made him look at him then, made him relive every detail, insisting then, "That was a dream, not a memory, you can't go by that."

"But it was so real."

"Dreams always are, especially bad dreams. What happened is playing on your mind, haunting you..."

Jackson had kept on insisting it was a dream, he wouldn't have it that it was a memory of that fateful night surfacing. He, however, was certain it was, and the fact the actual fight with Chris, the stabbing, wasn't replayed like everything else was because it was too awful, to horrific an event, one he truly did want to forget. In the end, he'd pretended to accept Jackson's reasoning, let him think he was right. If it helped him to think that way, for now at least, then fine, but he'd have to accept the truth at some point.

He'd needed a wash, a change of clothes, a set of clean sheets on his bed. He'd woken up in a cold sweat, moisture beading on his face, his t-shirt and shorts sticking miserably to his damp skin. The nurse had put it down to him having a temperature, he'd let her think that, he didn't want her knowing the real cause... that he'd just relived the night he'd killed a man.

He was sitting in the chair now, and while alone, he was going over everything again. It wasn't helping, his spirits were now lower than ever. But Jackson would be back in a minute, he'd only nipped down to the hospital shop to get him a drink, he didn't have much of an appetite but he was thirsty, and bored of water and hospital tea. He felt so much better when Jackson was here, stronger, not so scared.

David Smith was due back any minute too, he was going to try and prepare him for the police interview... he had half an hour before he had to face the police and he was bricking it.

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Spectre

Part 23

The two police officers had arrived bang on time, obviously eager to get on with their investigation. Aaron could understand the urgency, the need to get to the truth, to find the guilty party. Did they really believe that to be him? That this was an open and shut case? If he was facing them alone, it would be! But David Smith, like Jackson, was convinced of his innocence, even if he himself wasn't. Smith would fight tooth and nail for him, like he had the last time. Knowing that, Aaron felt a further sense of guilt, like he was deliberately misleading the older man.

After introductions had been made, Smith had politely reminded the two detectives where the interview was taking place and why. The solicitor had made it clear to them that he would insist the interview be terminated if, at any time, he believed it was getting too much for his client, if it was having a detrimental effect on his health. There had been no objections, but Aaron had to wonder how agreeable they would be if Smith wanted it stopped at what appeared to them to be a crucial moment, if it looked like they had him on the run.

He'd never liked the police, he certainly didn't trust them, and wasn't at all at ease in their company now. Despite a pep talk, coaching from his solicitor, he was more than a little nervous, his dry mouth and sweaty palms being proof of that, and with Jackson having to leave the room while the questioning took place, he felt particularly vulnerable.

The police had opened with a reminder of why they were there, like he'd needed a reminder! He had learned something though, and that was that Chris had been stabbed twice. That one fact had thrown him, to stab someone once was bad enough, but twice? Could he really have done that? The police had moved then to what had happened between him and Chris in the past, 'their history' as they called it. Thankfully, they hadn't spent much time going over that. They had it all on record and had obviously done some research.

He knew they would make a big thing about him keeping things from his family, particularly from Jackson, and he struggled to explain himself, to reason out his actions. He knew how stupid it must sound to an outsider, but they had loved ones. Surely they could understand his need to protect the people he cared about from needless worry, and not think he'd done it for a more sinister reason.

The questioning had then moved to the confrontation at Bar West. Smith had earlier talked him through it, how to phrase the two encounters he'd had with Davies that night, the second one in particular. Because of that, he'd managed to get it all across without sounding the antagonist, making it clear that the only threat he had made to Chris was to tell Joel just what sort of man he was, what he'd done in the past.

The next line of questioning was in regards to Joel. To his dismay, he was told that although Bar West did have security cameras at the entrance, every recording made was erased after a period of ten days. That meant there would be no visual record of Joel on that night. They had then informed him, that they had secured the most recent recordings, and wanted him to view them in the hopes Joel had visited the club more recently. After some prompting by his solicitor, the police had admitted to having a visual of Davies in those recording. His spirits had risen a little on hearing that, Joel had to have been with him.

In the meantime, the police wanted a description of Joel from him. All he was able to tell them was that he was tall, blond and had blue eyes. He didn't have an artist's eye for detail, but he was told he was going to have to give one of their colleagues a better description than that. They wanted a photo-fit made, one they could put out via the media for help in tracing him.

One of the officers had then asked why he thought his and Davies' accounts differed in regards to their encounter, why Davies had made no mention of Joel's presence when making his complaint. Chris had apparently told the officer he was alone that evening. Aaron didn't believe for one minute that Chris was trying to protect Joel in any way, it was more an attempt to protect himself, he wouldn't have wanted any witnesses to what had really happened, to the reason for the animosity.

On then to Joel's phone calls, his visit to the garage. He was able to tell them that his uncle had taken the initial call from Joel, and that he would vouch for that fact. He was most probably reading too much into it, but when he'd given his uncle's name, the two detectives had glanced at each other, and it had him wonder if it was because they didn't set much store in the word of Cain Dingle.

They were soon pressing him again for details about Joel.  
"Had Joel said anything on his visit to the garage that might in anyway help identify him?"

The answer to that was easy, "No."

"What could he tell them about his car?"

As he'd realised when talking to his solicitor earlier... not much! The only thing he was sure about was the colour; he was iffy on the make. He was miserably aware that this pitiful bit of information wouldn't help track the teenager down.

It was only an hour into the interview and he was already feeling tired, finding it hard to concentrate. It hadn't gone unnoticed, Smith had halted the proceedings to ask how he was feeling, Aaron knew his solicitor was all set to end it there and then, but after vehemently insisting that he was ok, they had carried on. He knew Smith wouldn't be so compliant should there be a next time. The police, too, seemed aware of that, and had quickly moved on to the phone call he'd received from Chris.

Again, he heard himself detailing the older man's angry tirade. He was asked why, considering the history between them, hadn't he reported the threats to the police. He'd paused before answering, sickeningly aware now that it had been a foolish, not to mention a fatal error of judgement on his part. He'd then hesitantly tried to explain how it had thrown him at the time, how he'd not known what to do, how best to handle it, but had eventually reasoned that Chris wasn't stupid enough to act on his threats, not fresh out of prison. His answer obviously hadn't satisfied the two men sitting in front of him, as they'd then asked him if it had had more to do with the fact that he wanted to deal with Davies himself. He'd denied that, of course, there wasn't one ounce of truth in that, he hadn't wanted to get within a mile of Chris, the phone call had stirred up all the old fears.

The police had then wanted him to detail the rest of his day, the evening in particular, "Who did you spend the evening with?" "What time did you get home?" "What time did Joel knock on your door?" All straight forward enough questions, all easy to answer. He was more than a little worried about what was coming next though, about detailing what had happened after Joel had arrived. Smith had coached him on it, told him how important it was to not miss any detail out.

By now, he'd had enough, more than enough. He was in pain, tired, his mind straying. But even with all those factors against him, he'd somehow managed to keep it together. He'd got the most essential parts across, telling them that before he'd gone to bed, he'd washed the dishes, tidied the bathroom after Joel, put the towels Joel had used straight into the washing machine, ready to be put out on the line to dry the next morning. They were, in Smith's own words, "vitally important details". They would explain in part why there was no fingerprints, no DNA evidence of Joel to be found. He was all too aware that he couldn't explain why nothing had been found within the spare room's four walls, why there was nothing to indicate a stranger's presence there that night. All he could say with any certainty was that Joel had definitely been in there, the bed ready for his use.

Then, all that was left for him to say was that he remembered nothing after going to bed. He sighed wearily at that point, closing his eyes as the room started to spin around him. Smith had stopped the interview immediately. The police didn't protest any; they seemed content to leave things as they were for the moment, informing him that they would need to question him further.

It was a relief to see them go, to see the door close behind them. Even more of a relief to see Jackson walk back in the room.

David Smith had told them that, on the whole, he thought it had gone well, that he had done well, and to stay positive. Positive! Yeah, for Jackson's sake, he could do that.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Spectre

Part 24

Monday morning, and he was finally going home, well to Paddy's, which would always be a home from home, for both him and Jackson. The doctor had, to his great relief, finally given him the ok, had with a flourish of his pen officially discharged him.

Half an hour later, he'd walked out of the hospital and into the morning sunshine. It seemed like forever since he'd tasted fresh air, felt the sun on his face. It gave him a sense of freedom, but on having that thought, he was immediately asking himself, 'but for how long?' There was just no getting away from the possibility that he would serve time for Chris' murder. That thought was never very far from his mind.

He'd promised himself to stay positive, for Jackson's sake if nothing else, and he was outwardly, he was doing a great job of keeping up the pretence. But inside, when he thought about it, his stomach would churn, his heart would race, and he had to fight the rising panic down. Even if it were possible, it wouldn't do any good to ignore the likelihood of a prison sentence, now would it? That would only make it harder to face should it happen, he was going to have to somehow come to terms with the prospect, at least he had time to do that.

As always, Jackson was beside him, he had insisted on carrying all his stuff, not that he had much. Still, he could have managed, he had one good arm, and his ribs were a lot less painful now. All this unnecessary fussing might drive him mad, but he was letting Jackson get away with it, he was avoiding arguing with him at all costs.

They were soon in the car and driving through the morning traffic, conversation passing easily between them, just the normal every day stuff, like Jackson telling him petrol had gone up yet again, but they couldn't avoid talking about what had happened to Chris for long, he was going to the police station that very afternoon to be questioned again and to see the security videos from Bar West.

He suddenly realised Jackson was taking the long way home, "Where're you going?"

"Home, why?"

"Why are you going this way?" It put another ten minutes on the journey at least, they never went this way.

"I just thought, well, we don't go past the house this way, do we? I didn't think you'd want to."

He hadn't thought about that, about driving past Oak cottage, their home, where they'd lived so happily together these last few years. Chris had died there, and Aaron knew he would never feel the same about the place again. "No." He didn't want to. He couldn't face it yet, but it was something else he couldn't avoid for long.

The journey to Emmerdale had passed quickly; the car was soon sweeping into the village, the garage now just up ahead. Aaron spotted Cain in the forecourt, his uncle chatting to a man he took to be a customer.

"Do you want me to stop?" Jackson asked. Cain had visited his nephew during those first worrying hours when he'd lain unconscious, but not since he'd come to, they were close and he knew the older man would appreciate the chance to see for himself that he was ok."

"No." He knew Cain would be pissed off at him for trying to handle the situation with Chris alone, for not involving him. He didn't want Cain having a pop at him about it out here, where everyone could hear him.

He raised his hand in greeting, but his uncle's response had been a barely discernible nod of the head, that serving to confirm his suspicions. They passed a few more familiar faces as they drove up the hill, Betty and Brenda were deep in conversation outside the pub, but they'd both spotted him, everyone would know he was home now!

Even before the car had stopped, he was unbuckling his seatbelt, and he had wasted no time in going inside the Smithy. He didn't want to give anyone the opportunity to stop and talk to him, he just wanted to surround himself with the familiar, and with the people he loved.

Paddy and his mum were waiting for him in the living room, and had immediately started fussing over him like only they could. He let them, knowing it helped them in some small way. They'd spent a good hour with him and Jackson before then going about their business, but not before giving him a little pep talk on the upcoming police interview. He'd let them do that too, knowing they felt the need to be doing something.

It was now lunch time and Jackson was in the kitchen fixing them something to eat. He wasn't hungry, not with his interview just a few hours away. He couldn't tell Jackson that though, and he was going to have to eat whatever he put in front of him, his boyfriend was worried enough about him as it was, he didn't want to give him any more reason to be concerned. When the kitchen door opened, he'd expected to see him, but it was Cain who was making his way into the room. He groaned inwardly, he really didn't need this, not now.

"Alright?"

"Yeah." He knew that was the niceties over, that Cain's concern would soon morph into something else, at best annoyance, at worst anger.

"You idiot."

How well he knew his uncle. Even though he'd been expecting that sort of reaction from him, it was still unsettling; he shifted uneasily under the older man's unwavering gaze.

"What happened?"

"I don't know." He only wished he did.

"So you really can't remember?"

"No, what, you think I'm lying about that?" Did Cain actually believe he'd lie, not only to the police but to Jackson and his family too?

"I would."

"Well, I'm not you!"

"Unfortunately, we both know I wouldn't have got in such a mess."

"I didn't know it would end this way. With him dead, I didn't want that."

"Why didn't you tell me he threatened you?"

"Because you'd have gone round his, what good would it have done?"

"We'll never know now, will we?"

He ignored that barbed comment, deciding to just sit there and let Cain rant, let him work his disappointment in him out of his system and hopefully then he would bog off and leave him alone.

"It's not looking good."

"I don't need you to tell me that!" He snapped back at his uncle. So much for him keeping his mouth shut, and that sort of comeback would only wind Cain up some more.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do? The police are investigating, David Smith's..."

"That's not enough!"

"Well what..."

"This Joel, the police don't seem to think he exists?"

"Well you know he does, you talked to him!"

"You think they'll believe a word I say."

"There's the security videos from Bar West, if he's on them..."

"That's a big if, isn't it? And even if he is, they still have to find him. And if they do and he drops you further in it, what then?"

"I don't know." He did know, he knew all too well, he'd end up inside and for a very long time.

"There is one way of making sure you don't go down for Davies' murder."

"What do you mean?" Now that had grabbed his full attention.

"You get out while you can, disappear into thin air like this Joel has."

"Do a runner?" What was Cain thinking, he couldn't do that!

"I can make sure you get out of the country, get you set up someplace safe."

"I can't!" Aaron exclaimed, taken aback by the idea, by what it would entail, one thought taking prominence, "What about Jackson?"

"He's not facing a life sentence. You are. So best you think on it!"

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Spectre

Part 25

Hearing raised voices, Jackson had made his way into the living room to investigate. On entering, he found the room silent. There was an unmistakably icy atmosphere though, and his gaze moved suspiciously between the two men, he knew they'd had words about something. "What's going on?"

"Ask him," Aaron gestured angrily at his uncle; he couldn't believe he thought he could just take off and leave Jackson behind. He thought Cain knew just how much Jackson meant to him, how much he loved him. But it seemed he saw their relationship as nothing more than meaningless and that had hurt.

"I'm just making sure he knows all his options," Cain stated calmly.

"Options?" What exactly did Cain mean by that?

"He thinks I should leave the country."

"What?" Jackson could make no sense of that.

"Do a runner as soon as I can."

Momentarily stunned by the idea, Jackson then turned to eye the older man incredulously, "What the hell for? He really would look guilty then."

"What if he is guilty?"

Jackson's anger flared at the question, "He's not! I know he's not."

"You mean you don't want him to be. We don't know for sure though, do we?"

"I do." He knew Aaron wasn't responsible for Chris' death, and it wasn't just a case of wishful thinking, he knew in his heart he wasn't.

"What you think isn't going to stop it going against him, what you believe won't keep him out of jail.

"And you think you're helping him by suggesting he goes on the run?" He just couldn't get his head around the idea.

"Better that than serving time for murder, whether he did it or not."

"It won't come to that."

"It might, and if it does, you're going to be wishing he had taken off when he still had the chance!"

"It's not the answer." It wasn't, how could it be?

"After this afternoon, it might be the only answer!"

"No." Jackson refused to believe that.

Turning his attention back to his nephew, Cain said, "Think about it. This is your decision to make, not his."

"Get out!" Aaron snarled at the older man, he'd just trampled over Jackson's importance in his life for the last time.

Cain stepped towards the door, turning around to leave them with one last thought, "Time's running out."

As soon as Cain had left, Jackson moved to stand before his boyfriend, eyeing him questioningly, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"He's put the idea in your head now..." he wanted to be sure Aaron had dismissed it totally out of hand, that he wouldn't at any time consider it.

"I'm not going anywhere Jackson... not without you." Leaving without Jackson was not an option... but with him?

"What are you saying?"

"We could both..."

"No!"

"Jackson..."

"Do you want to be forever looking over your shoulder, forever moving from place to place? We'd never be able to come back here, we'd never see out families again!"

"But we'd still have each other. That's the most important thing, isn't it?"

"Yes, but..."

"But what? Jackson I can't face going to jail for all those years, only seeing you for an hour once or, if I'm lucky, maybe twice a week. What will it do to us, to our relationship? It will change me, and it will change you. By the time I get out, we'll be different people, we'll have lost what we have now."

"It's not going to happen."

"Jackson! Listen to me," Aaron pleaded, he had to make his boyfriend understand. "I know we have to stay positive but we can't ignore the possibility of me going down for this, like Cain said, whether I did it or not. Innocent men have been wrongly convicted before now..."

"David Smith won't let that happen to you."

"What if I did do it, what then?"

"You didn't!"

"I know you believe I'm not capable of doing something like that, but what if I did?

"No. It was Joel."

"Jackson, your blind faith in me isn't what I need right now. What I really need from you is for you to see all the possibilities, and to be ready for them. The thing is, you weren't there, you can't know what happened. But I do know I wouldn't have been thinking straight at the time, that I'd have been scared, so scared I'd have probably done anything just to get away from Chris, and what if that meant using a knife on him?"

He'd heard every one of Aaron's words but only a few of them had registered, serving to out the guilt he felt, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"What?"

"I should have been there. I shouldn't have left you. I should never have taken that job. I knew what Chris was capable of. I should have known he'd come after you, Joel or not. He was never going to let you get one over on him. He'd lost four years of his life because of you, I should have known he'd want payback of some kind. Aaron, I could have prevented all of this, Chris hurting you, him turning our lives upside down..."

"Jackson..." He didn't like the way Jackson was talking, he was owning the blame, well none of this was his fault.

"I'm sorry."

"None of this is down to you. I handled things badly..."

"No. You're the innocent in all of this; you always were, from the very first minute Chris set eyes on you, you were the one wronged then and again now. I know you didn't do it, Aaron, I won't let you take the blame for something you didn't do. I'm not going to lose you..."

"Jackson?"

"What you said about us both taking off, I hate the idea, it's wrong and it scares me but... if things don't look to be going our way then maybe it is an option we need to consider."

"You'd do it?" He couldn't quite believe his sensible, responsible, right-thinking boyfriend was now considering it.

"I don't want to, but if it's the only way we can be together then yes, I'd do anything for you, to be with you." He just hoped to God they would never have to take that drastic step.

/

The time for the police interview had come all too soon. David Smith was waiting for them by the police station door, as always the solicitor had found some words of reassurance for him. He too remained convinced of his innocence, was determinedly fighting his corner again and Aaron knew he should have more faith in him, after all he had convinced a jury of Chris' guilt. But the very fact he doubted his own innocence prevented him from doing that.

Jackson had had to wait outside the interview room, he'd barely left his side these last few days and he instantly felt alone, even though David was with him. The detective in charge of the murder inquiry wanted him to view the tapes before questioning him again. Thankfully, they could be viewed at varying speeds and they were working quickly through them, but he was rapidly losing heart. After viewing seven, there was still no trace of Joel, not even of Chris, but he knew for certain he was on at least one, the police had told his solicitor that much, Joel had to be on that one too, he had to be.

The ninth one was now playing and ten minutes in, he saw a familiar figure, it sent a shiver down his spine. The picture quality wasn't all that good but Chris' mountainous frame was unmistakable, he could see he was smiling, laughing... he still couldn't believe he was dead. The reason for Chris' mood suddenly stepped into view, "That's him! That's Joel."

The detective immediately froze the frame, asking him to look more closely, to make sure he had the right man."

"It's him." He insisted, relief flooding through him.

The detective had pointed out the man he'd identified on the tape differed slightly from the description he'd given them and the police artist who'd drawn up a likeness for the media. Joel's hair was a little longer than what he remembered, he'd obviously let it grow, surely that wasn't going to damn him?

They'd watched the remainder of the tape, seeing both Chris and Joel later leaving the club, only separately, a good few minutes separating the time they each walked out through the door. The detective had commented on that, saying there was nothing in either sighting to indicate they were actually together. David Smith had argued against that, but he'd sat silently, realising that was how it looked.

There was one last tape, he watched it willing Chris and Joel to appear, hand in hand or kissing in the doorway, doing something, anything that would give credence to the fact they were a couple, but no, that had been too much to hope for, neither one of them had been caught on camera that night. He didn't know what to think, was the sighting of Joel on the tape going to be of any use to his case? It didn't look like it would, not the way the police had reacted. Doing a runner was sounding more and more like a good idea.

They'd got right down to the interview then, going over the same old ground. When it was finally over, he had to ask himself what had been the point of it all. He knew the answer to that though, they were trying to catch him out, expecting him to give a different account of things, but he hadn't, he'd stuck to his story because it was the truth.

Before he was allowed to leave, he was asked if he would, in the presence of the investigating officers, visit Oak cottage. The police thought it might help him remember something. He'd agreed, he'd had no choice, he had to look like he was doing everything to help, but it was the last thing on earth he wanted to do.

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Spectre

Part 26

The visit to the police station, and all that had gone on there, had tired the still-recovering Aaron out; so after returning home and detailing events to Paddy and his mum while wearily picking at his tea, he'd then fallen asleep on the sofa.

Certain his boyfriend would sleep for an hour at least, and that Paddy was nearby should he wake in his absence, Jackson had decided to take a walk down to the garage, he needed to speak to Cain and he didn't want Aaron within earshot when he did so.

Thankfully, the village was fairly deserted and he hadn't had to stop to talk to anyone. He couldn't face a villager's genuine show of concern anymore than he could a gossip's inquisition right now.

As expected, the garage was still open. With Aaron laid up, Cain was working longer hours to keep on top of things. He found the older man at his desk making out a bill. Seeing him, Cain leant back in his chair and deadpan said, "You here to kiss and make up?"

Jackson couldn't help but grin, he was grateful to Cain for breaking the ice, they'd had one hell of an argument earlier, their first ever in fact, and he'd been half expecting the older man to give him a hard time. He should have known better. They both cared about Aaron, they both wanted to protect him, to do what they could to help him, even if their ideas on how to do that differed. Or had differed. "No offence but I'd rather just shake hands!" He knew he'd cleared the air with that comeback and moved to stand the opposite side of the desk.

"How's he doing?"

Jackson could hear the concern in the older man's voice, but knew it wasn't so much directed at Aaron's health but at the situation he found himself in. Cain was an expert when it came to dealing with the police, he knew how their minds worked, and what he was really asking him was if his nephew had given any more thought to doing a runner.

"He's considering all his options, just like you suggested, we both are."

Cain rubbed his cheek thoughtfully, he wasn't quite sure what Jackson was doing here, had he come round to his way of thinking or was he here just to reiterate what he'd said earlier, the latter most likely. Well, he still thought Aaron disappearing was a good idea, and he wasn't about to give up on it, not with the way things stood. "I heard the visit to the cop shop didn't go as well as hoped."

Chas had said she'd let Cain know about the latest development, she'd probably come straight here. "We don't know that for sure, Aaron was able to identify Joel. The police have got a much better chance of finding him now."

"But like I said earlier, that might not be of any real help to Aaron."

"I realise that." He'd had to grudgingly admit to that fact. He paused, having to take a steadying breath, he couldn't quite believe what he was about to say, "That's why I want you to get things moving, get things in place for us both to leave. But I don't want Aaron knowing about this conversation, not yet, not unless he has to. I don't want him giving up the fight; I don't want him thinking I have, because I haven't. I just want to be ready should things go wrong, I want to be able to get him out of here ASAP if they do." He was admittedly spooked, scared about what could happen, no way would he let Aaron go to prison, no way would he let him suffer that injustice, and no way would he let anything threaten their relationship, what they had.

Nodding his understanding, a more than a little relieved Cain said, "You know what you'd be giving up?" Jackson needed to be sure about this. Any uncertainty on his part could hinder things, even threaten their success.

"Just about everything, but as long as that doesn't include Aaron, then I can live with it."

Cain liked that answer; well he liked Jackson, liked and respected him, and he'd been undeniably good for Aaron. The lad was happy and settled because of him… or had been. "It'll be a little more tricky making the both of you disappear but not impossible." Knowing Jackson as well as he did, how sensible he was, how he always did the right thing, he hadn't thought he'd even consider it, and for a while there, it looked like he wouldn't. But he hadn't taken into consideration just how much he and Aaron loved each other, he realised now he'd been wrong to try and talk Aaron into leaving on his own, he should have known that would never happen.

"So you'll arrange things, just in case?"

"I don't want this for him either, you know." Cain suddenly felt the need to make that fact clear. He wanted the lad where he could keep an eye on him, where his mum and Paddy and everyone else who loved him wouldn't have to spend every minute of the livelong day worrying about him. "But it's the lesser of two evils. We both know he couldn't hack prison life, that the Aaron that went in wouldn't be the Aaron that came out. We would lose him."

"I know." He'd like to think their relationship could survive anything but this was a risk he just wasn't prepared to take.

After checking on Aaron and finding him still dead to the world, he'd stepped outside the front door again. His restless feet had taken him in a different direction this time, around the corner and along the quiet road to Oak Cottage. He hadn't been there since the night he'd found Aaron unconscious and Chris dead. He'd deliberately avoided passing the place just like he had earlier, but with Aaron having to go there the next morning, he knew he had to face it and now. A brisk walk had got him there in no time at all, apart from the police car parked outside it and the police tape sealing it off, it looked the same as it always did, it looked like home, only he still didn't think it would ever feel like home again, not after what had happened there.

Seeing him, the policeman had got out of the car, he was friendly enough, even a little apologetic when finding out who he was, that the property was his, well his and Aaron's, that it was his boyfriend who was involved in the murder enquiry. He still wasn't allowed anywhere near the place but the officer told him that should all change after Aaron's visit there tomorrow. The police didn't want anything moved or disturbed hoping something he saw would help him remember details of that fateful night.

After taking another long look at the place, he made his way back to Paddy's. Aaron was still curled up on the sofa, and Jackson stood watching him sleep. The bruises were beginning to fade, the swelling was all but gone, another month or so and his arm would be out of the cast, there would be no physical reminder of what had happened, but what about what went on in his head? He needed to remember what happened, he needed the peace of mind that would bring, at least he hoped it would.

He was just so worried about him, hated what he was going through right now, wished he could make it all go away, make it that it had never happened. He was to blame, knew things would have been different if he hadn't taken the job away. He'd not done a very good job of looking after Aaron, had he? After what Davies had tried to do to him, he'd promised himself he would, that nothing, no one would ever hurt him again. He'd failed him. Well, he wasn't going to let him down again, not ever again. He was prepared to do anything, anything at all to put this right.

/

Tuesday morning dawned sunny and warm, another beautiful day, but it was lost on the occupants of the Smithy.

Aaron had to be at Oak Cottage for nine, and the time was fast approaching. Neither he nor Jackson had slept well the previous night, he guessed Paddy hadn't either, not if his bleary-eyed appearance was anything to go off.

Still the two older men were doing their best to keep him in a positive frame of mind, they were upbeat and the breakfast banter was flowing easily across the table. It reminded him of the times he and Jackson had lived here, Jackson having moved in just a couple of months after Chris's trial. Chris's release had seemed such a long time away then, he'd pushed it to the back of his mind, easy to do because for the first time in his life he was truly happy, he was in love and knew Jackson loved him in exactly the same way. They'd put Chris behind them and got on with the life they shared.

Like Jackson said earlier, Chris was always going to want his revenge. He'd threatened him in court, promised he'd come looking for him, make him pay for his lies… but he hadn't been lying, and he'd thought, believed he'd done the right thing by pressing charges, by taking him to court, especially when the guilty verdict was reached. But now, he found himself wishing he hadn't, wishing he'd let the matter drop; whatever the result of doing that, it couldn't be as bad as what he was facing now, could it?

"Aaron?"

"What?" He'd been so lost in thought he hadn't realised Jackson was talking to him.

"It's time we went."

He looked over at the clock, not wanting to believe it, not wanting to leave the warmth, the security, the love he felt here with these two men. He didn't want them knowing just how scared he was right now; he didn't want to add to their mountain of worry. He certainly couldn't tell them that he feared walking into Oak Cottage a free man but leaving it charged with murder. "Ok, I'm ready." He'd managed to sound like he was indeed ready for anything, but he wasn't, he wasn't sure what he'd do, how he would react if the visit to Oak Cottage brought back memory of him killing Chris.

After Paddy had heaped some reassurance on him, they'd made their way outside. Jackson was driving him, ridiculous really because it was only a ten minute walk, but it seemed neither one of them could face that short and so very familiar walk this morning. Not with what was looming at the end of it. Because what happened there this morning might just determine where they spent the rest of their lives, and they both desperately wanted that to be here in Emmerdale and not some far flung corner of the earth.

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

Spectre

Part 27

It had been less than a week since he was here last, but it seemed years ago now. The cottage, the garden, it all looked the same, but it didn't feel the same, he didn't feel the same on seeing it. Always before on setting eyes on the front door, his spirits would lift, it was his and Jackson's place, their home. They had worked hard to make it what it was and they'd been happy here. He wasn't sure what it was he was feeling on seeing it now, dread he supposed, he was certainly dreading going inside.

Jackson had reassured him before he got out the car, his words accompanied by a squeeze of his hand and a love-filled kiss. As always, he had been buoyed up by his boyfriend's presence, strengthened by his words. But once out of the car and all alone, his legs had turned to jelly, and his heart had thundered up into his throat... just as it had that night he'd run from Chris, from what he'd tried to do to him. He wasn't alone though, or wouldn't be, David Smith was going to be with him. But where was he? He should be here by now; David was cutting it fine. Aaron didn't think the police would hold up proceedings just because his solicitor was running late, no he was certain they wouldn't. The police hadn't wanted his solicitor there in the first place, had made some excuse about not wanting a crime scene trampled over by all and sundry. David had insisted on being present, had reminded them about his client's rights. Aaron couldn't help but think the investigating officers had wanted him alone for a purpose, so that they could catch him out in some way. He'd had that feeling before, more than once, and had tried telling himself he was just being paranoid, but it hadn't worked, he was convinced they believed him guilty and were all out to prove it.

Because several police vehicles were already stationed outside the cottage, Jackson had parked a little further along the road. As Aaron walked towards the gate, getting more nervous with every step he took, David's car came into view. He was more than a little relieved to see his solicitor arrive. He knew he was a busy man and that he'd had to fit this visit into an already hectic schedule. Aaron had been afraid something had come up and prevented him from being there; it would be just his luck. He silently blasted himself as he realised he was worrying over every little thing right now, turning the smallest concern into an impending disaster. He knew why: he was stressed out, and more scared than he'd ever been in his life, he had so much to lose.

The two detectives in charge of the case were hovering by the front door, waiting for him, and after David had quietly repeated his advice from the day before, the two of them had walked along the paved path to join them. Pleasantries over, DC White asked if he was ready to start. His mouth having suddenly turned very dry, he nodded his head in answer.

'This is it!' he told himself as the heavy oak door swung open. Although he'd thought himself ready to do this, he now found he couldn't move, his feet seemed glued to the floor, and some invisible barrier was preventing him from stepping inside his own home.

"Mr. Livesy?"

The detective's voice had given him the jolt he needed, and after a reassuring pat on the back from David, he walked into the hallway. With the door now closed behind the four of them, he was asked to recount the events of the night Chris had died. They wanted him to start from the point Joel had knocked on the front door, physically retracing his steps as he did so.

He led the way upstairs and into his and Jackson's bedroom. Their bed immediately drew his attention, it was dishevelled, unmade! Well it would be, he reasoned, he'd gone to bed that night, that was the last thing he remembered doing. He let his gaze sweep around the room, things had been moved, disturbed, drawers had been left open, wardrobe doors left ajar. He knew the police had searched the place but on having visual evidence of that fact, he bristled angrily. The sudden surge of emotion had taken him completely by surprise, but he quickly realised why he'd reacted that way. This room was their very private space, but complete strangers had been in here, rooting through their things, rifling through their belongings, picking over keepsakes and memories. Prying eyes and inquisitive fingers had invaded their world and he hated the very thought of it. The room and everything in it was tainted now.

Sensing the detectives' eyes on him, he turned to face them and began to speak, "I'd got undressed, was all ready for bed, then I heard someone knocking. Gesturing to the other side of the room, he added, "I looked out of that window there and saw Joel's car..."

"So you recognised his car?"

"Yeah, I..."

"But apart from the colour, you haven't been able to give us any definite details on it, so how could you be so sure of whose car it was?"

"I don't know, I just..." That question had thrown him, he tried to think back to that particular moment in time. Joel had been at the back of his mind and the car had looked familiar, something had to have registered in his head, somehow he'd put two and two together, "It was red and..."

"It was dark, how could you make out the colour?"

That question needed some thought too. There were no street lamps on this stretch of road, and the outside light hadn't been on so how... he tried to remember what was illuminating the vehicle, something had been... "There was a full moon, I could see the colour and the shape... it was a Golf!" He could see it clearly in his mind's eye now and knew for sure what make it was. Why he'd thought it might be a Peugeot, he didn't know, but then the mind played funny tricks on you at times… like completely erasing all memory of a murder!

"And you're certain about that, Mr. Livesy? Only you couldn't be sure about the make before, even though you later went on to move the vehicle."

Yes, he'd driven the actual car but his mind had been on Joel, on a lot of things, nothing had registered about the car at the time, "I couldn't remember then, but I do now. That's why you wanted me to do this, wasn't it? You thought being here might jog my memory. Well it has, it's helped me remember the make of Joel's car." He looked over at David Smith, and although he was nodding his head, letting him know he was happy with how he'd handled the police's questions, he looked concerned, and well he might. The older man had warned him about the implications of voicing anything that might come to light now. He'd told him to think twice before speaking, before saying anything the police might see as suspicious. It hadn't occurred to him that confirming a detail about the car would do that, but it seemed it had. But then they were a devious lot, the police, they used all sort of tactics to get to the truth, and in some cases just to get a conviction. There it was again, his paranoia speaking.

"What happened then?"

The detective was suddenly keen to move on; did that mean he was satisfied with what he'd said about the car? "I got dressed, went downstairs." He headed back out the door, purposefully avoiding looking in the direction of the bathroom and spare room, he'd be seeing them soon enough. Back in the hallway, he pointed at the front door, "I opened the door, Joel was standing there, I could see he'd taken a beating..." How many times had he said all this before? So many that it was sounding rehearsed even to him, like something he'd learnt off by heart. It gave the truth a fictional air; no wonder the police didn't believe him. He stepped over to the living room door. It was closed and the last thing he wanted to do right at that moment was open it. He was scared of what he might see, scared of what he might remember on going in there. But the fear was hindering rather than helping, wasn't it? He told himself to get a grip, that the sooner he did this, the sooner the ordeal would be over.

His hand was shaking as he reached for the handle, but after taking a steadying breath he threw open the door and walked inside. "I brought him in here..." His eyes were immediately drawn to where he thought Chris had died, to where he'd been lying bleeding in his dream, but there was nothing to indicate it was where Chris had taken his last breath. He'd been expecting to see blood stains, one of those victim outline things he'd seen on TV, but no. For a second, his befuddled mind thought it had all been a joke, a sick joke, that Chris wasn't dead, that it was just a wind up. But then, he noticed something on the other side of the room, just in front of the fireplace. It brought him straight back to reality. He stared at the macabre sight, to what was obviously dried blood. It didn't make sense. In his dream, Chris had been lying near the door, not there.

"Mr. Livsey?"

The detective's voice startled him and he blurted out his thoughts, his confusion, "Chris wasn't lying there. He didn't die there..."

"Aaron!"

David Smith's voice rang out in warning, only then did he realise what he'd just said, how it would sound to the police. They were fast on the heels of Smith with the realisation, the older of the two detectives, the most senior in rank, started firing questions at him.

"So you remember watching Christopher Davies die?"

"No, no I don't." He didn't remember anything, but the dreams had been so real, the images so clear that they still haunted him. He seemed to confuse the dreams with reality.

"But you said he wasn't lying there, that he didn't die there, so you must remember something?"

"No. I..."

"What is it you remember, Aaron?"

"Nothing, I ..."

"Then, why say that?"

"The dreams..."

"Dreams?"

"I've had nightmares... I..."

"In which you relive that night?"

"No! I don't know… I don't think so..."

"You don't think so?"

David Smith had moved to stand between him and the police and was loudly demanding he be given time to answer, to not be pressed so hard, to not be hounded, reminding the officers that he'd only just got out of hospital, and that he was here voluntarily.

He clamped his mouth shut, scared to say anything more, scared he'd dig himself into an even deeper hole if he did. He listened to Smith battle verbally with the detectives. He wanted reassurances from them that they'd ease off, threatening to end the visit now if he didn't get those reassurances.

He stopped listening, tuned out, his gaze now fixed on the floor, on the expanse of dried blood. There was so much of it... Chris really had bled to death! How long would that have taken? Had he stood by and watched it happen? Had he even tried to help him? He suddenly felt sick, and with his stomach threatening to rebel, to empty its contents, he turned on his heels and headed for the back door.

Despite the overwhelming nausea that gripped him, the desperate need he had to get outside, he couldn't fail to notice that the door's glass panel had been replaced by wood, that it had been temporarily boarded up. After fumbling with the key, he was finally outside, and as the cooler air hit him, he began to retch, helpless now against the violent spasms that wracked his frame. His broken ribs were soon protesting the injustice and the resulting pain had him wrap his one good arm around his chest.

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur, all he knew was that he was now sitting on one of the patio chairs, a glass of water in his trembling hand. He sipped on it, wanting to rinse the nasty taste from his mouth, with each mouthful he felt a little better, a little stronger, more in control. He sensed movement behind him and then looked up to find David standing beside him.

"I've told them you're not going back in there until you're ready, whether that's in ten minutes time or in ten days time. "

"I'm sorry." He thought an apology was in order, he'd just complicated things, made David's job a hundred times harder than it already was, and to add insult to injury, he'd just puked up his breakfast like some little kid.

"Don't be. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. I shouldn't have let this re-enactment take place today, you're not ready for it, and I certainly wasn't."

"I should have told you about the nightmares."

"That's easy to say with hindsight, you weren't to know something like that would happen. But because it has, I need you to tell me about them."

There wasn't all that much to tell really, so he'd soon filled David in on what he wanted to know.

"It's a fact some people have nightmares after experiencing a traumatic event."

"But I don't remember the 'event' so how can I have nightmares about it?"

"You might not remember it but you have been told about it, you know how Chris died, that he was stabbed, imagination would fill in any blanks. Now I might be worried if your dream in anyway mirrored reality, but it doesn't. Aaron, Davies died where he fell, he wasn't moved, and having seen the police stills of the scene, I can tell you he was lying face down, not on his back like you say he was in those nightmares. What does that tell you?"

"That I wasn't reliving what happened?"

"Exactly! They were just bad dreams and are irrelevant to the investigation, but what you said in there, well that had us all prick up our ears. You're going to have to make it clear to the police that is was simply a reaction to seeing something different to what you saw in those nightmares. I'm not going to let them make anything out of it. But maybe you can take some small measure of comfort, some reassurance from what you know now.

He did feel some relief, but not knowing what had really happened that night was just so hard, it was eating away at him, "I need to remember what happened."

"Yes, you do… and there may be a way of helping you do that."

"How?"

"Hypnosis."

"Hypnosis?" Wasn't that just a load of bunkum? "Would it work?"

"I don't know anything about it but a colleague suggested it to me, I thought I could at least look into it, seek some professional advice. If it turns out to be a reliable, recognized method of unlocking the memory, would you agree to it?"

"I don't know." Did he want someone messing with his head? He didn't really have a choice, "I'd have to..."

"No, not if you didn't want to, just like you don't have to go back in there now, just say the word and I'll ask DI Mead to reschedule…"

"No. If I don't do this now then… well I don't want to have to come back." He had no intentions of ever coming back here again, he wasn't sure how he was going to tell Jackson that though, he loved this place, had built it more or less himself. But then again, there was a good chance a foreign country would become their new home!

They made their way back to the living room, there he picked up where he'd left off, pointing out where Joel had sat, repeating the conversation they'd had. The detectives seem satisfied with what he'd said, so he led the way back into the kitchen, once there he gestured to the damaged back door and asked, "Is that how Chris got in?"

"We believe so."

He'd have liked to know more, like how Chris had managed to break what was toughened glass, but that was just going to delay things, and he wanted out of the place. Anyway, he already knew the answer to that question, Chris had incredible strength, even more so when he was angry. If he'd wanted in, nothing would have stopped him.

Heaving a resigned sigh, he continued on with his retelling of that fateful night. "I made a sandwich for Joel, tea for both of us…"

"And you used a knife to make that sandwich?" DC White asked.

"Yeah." Of course he had. He'd used sliced bread but he'd had to spread the margarine and cut the sandwich in half. He suddenly felt uneasy, he'd just realised where this conversation was going.

"Which knife did you use?"

He looked at the knife block that sat on the kitchen counter; it had been a house warming gift from Adam. It held thirteen knives, and they varied in size and purpose. He'd used one of the smaller all purpose ones, the slot where it should have been stored was empty. His gaze moved over to the sink, he could see plates and cutlery stacked on the drainer, it had to be there… only, on closer examination he found it wasn't.

"I'd like you to look at this picture, Mr. Livsey."

The detective removed a photograph from a file he was carrying, passing it to him to look at.

Both his heart and stomach lurched on seeing the image it contained, a heavily blood- stained knife. A knife he recognized, the very one he'd used to make the sandwich, and it seemed the one used to kill Chris.

"Is that the knife in question?"

"Yeah." He'd washed it and then put it back in its designated slot, of course his fingerprints would be on it. At least, there was an innocent reason for them to be there; their presence on the murder weapon could be explained.

The next few hours saw them traipsing up and down the stairs, out to the drive where he'd moved Joel's car, the re-enactment ending with him telling the police how he'd finally gone to bed at 1 a.m. It had all been straightforward, no more shocks or surprises.

It was at last over, there was nothing more he could tell the police and they seemed to have run out of questions for him. They'd thanked him for his cooperation and told him they would be in touch. He didn't doubt that for a minute.

Stepping out into the midday sunshine, he realised he was actually feeling a little more positive about things, the past few hours had proved an ordeal, and although he hadn't remembered what had happened between him and Chris, the gloom surrounding him had lifted a little. For the first time since hearing about Chris, he was starting to believe in his innocence.

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

Spectre

Part 28

It had been one very long and tiring day, and Aaron was relieved it was finally coming to an end. All he needed to do now was fall asleep, when he woke up it would be tomorrow, and the start of what would hopefully be a better day. Jackson was already asleep, and he was lying in the older man's arms, his most favourite place in the whole world. He loved the intimacy, the warmth of his skin, the heady male scent of him. And in the silence he could hear Jackson's heart beating, and his soft, steady breaths. Here he felt safe, here he felt out of reach of all the bad and unpleasant things that existed in the world. Nothing could hurt him here.

Jackson must have been asleep for an hour now; he, though, just couldn't drop off. His mind was proving too active, it kept straying back over the day. He tried not to think of the unpleasant things that had happened, trying instead to focus on the good things, like finding Jackson waiting for him when he left Oak Cottage...

He had told Jackson not to wait for him, he hadn't wanted him sitting there twiddling his thumbs for God knows how many hours, and as it turned out, it had been well over three. But as he and David had reached the front gate, he saw him standing by their car. After telling his solicitor that he would meet up with him back in Paddy's, he'd made his way over to Jackson. He should have known he'd wait for him, that he'd want to be there for him when he came out, just in case he'd needed him. And he did, of course. Jackson had pulled him into a hug, held him close, radiating reassurance and love. It was exactly what he'd needed right then. As he pulled away Jackson asked, "Are you alright?"

He could hear concern in his boyfriend's voice and had been quick to reassure him, "I'm fine." He was, he was certainly feeling a lot better than when he'd gone into the cottage. "I'm just glad it's over."

Jackson was searching his face, his eyes, no doubt wondering just how fine he was, going on to ask, "Did you remember anything?"

"No, well just the make of Joel's car."

"So it didn't help any?"

"In some ways it did."

Jackson had raised his eyebrows at that remark, his interest piqued, but he hadn't wanted to go into any detail there, not out in the open with police milling round, so he'd gestured to the car, they'd both got in and as Jackson drove them the short distance to Paddy's, he'd filled him in on things.

"I told you those dreams meant nothing, I thought you'd accepted that. Why didn't you tell me you were still worrying about them?"

"I don't know, maybe because deep down I knew I was being stupid." That was stretching the truth a bit; he just hadn't wanted to give Jackson another reason to worry over him.

He'd told Jackson about the knife and the fingerprints next.

"That's good, isn't? That's something in our favour?"

He'd liked Jackson's use of 'our', further confirmation, not that any was needed, that they were in this together. "Yeah."

They'd pulled up outside Paddy's, parked behind David's car, he was there to hold what he called a debrief.

Yawning, Aaron realised he was beginning to feel sleepy; if he could just block off all thought of today, he would soon drift off but that was easier said than done. He glanced over at the alarm clock, the luminous figures on its dial telling him it was one o'clock in the morning. He closed his eyes, snuggled closer to Jackson, hearing the older man sigh softly as he did so. For a little while, he was lost in the love he had for him, but slowly and surely other thoughts made their presence known...

Paddy and David had been sitting by the kitchen table, and they'd joined them, eager to hear David's thoughts on the visit to Oak Cottage. He'd started off by saying he wasn't at all surprised that his memory of events hadn't come back, had told them not to be too disheartened. After raising the topic of hypnosis again he promised to look into it later that day. It seemed it wasn't just a matter of whether it worked or not, but also if it was admissible in the eye of the law. Both Jackson and Paddy had reacted positively to the idea, but Aaron wasn't sure about it, the idea scared him.

David had moved swiftly on to his reaction on seeing where Chris had died, reassuring them all about what had happened. It had all been fairly positive up to that point but it was about to change. He'd thought the presence of his fingerprints on the murder weapon could be explained innocently enough, but the fact no one else's prints were found on it wasn't a good thing. He hadn't thought about that, it hadn't occurred to him or Jackson for that matter. But David was soon raising their spirits again. He was highly suspicious of the prints found on the knife, he'd been told they were perfect, no smudging, and the handle itself had no visible trace of blood on it when found. He felt sure it had been tampered with in some way.

David's mobile had rung half an hour into the meeting, it had been DC White with some information for them. The CCT footage of Joel at Bar West was going to be used that very night on a local news programme, and an image of Joel that had been taken from it was going to be in the Hotton Courier the next day. Even if Joel himself didn't step forward, someone might recognise him and call the number given out with the police appeal.

His solicitor had left soon after, again telling him to keep positive, and he'd tried to do just that. They'd had a late lunch then Jackson had persuaded him to take Clyde for a walk, he couldn't be persuaded to go through the village though, he wasn't ready to face anyone but close family. They'd gone along the back road, a few cars had passed by, thankfully no one they knew and he'd breathed a sigh of relief on finally stepping back into the Smithy.

Zak and Lisa had been waiting for him in the living room, he'd felt awkward on first seeing them, he didn't feel he could look anyone in the eye until he knew for definite he wasn't responsible for Chris's death. But Lisa had hugged him, fussed over him, and his uncle had left him in no doubt of their support. He'd relaxed then, and once Zak had started telling stories from the Dingles' colourful past, he'd actually managed to forget what had happened for a little while. Marlon had called round a little later, then Debbie. Just as she was leaving, Adam had stopped by. He hadn't been the last visitor either. Victoria, Bob, and Pearl had all called to see him. He'd been pleased to see each and every one of them, had been grateful for their show of concern and support at the time, but now he found himself wondering how they would feel towards him if it turned out that he had killed Chris. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed he always managed to hit a low.

He and Jackson had watched the evening news together, his heart beginning to race as the newsreader led into the story that was dominating his life at the moment. They'd shown a picture of Chris. He was dressed in a suit and was smiling, he was undeniably handsome and he looked a good and decent bloke. They say the camera never lies but there was nothing in the picture that gave his true character away, his need for control, his jealousy, his explosive temper. Some details were given about him, where he was from, what he did for a living, and that he was survived by a brother who lived in Australia. He'd forgotten all about him. He hadn't thought about Chris's family. He hadn't thought about those who might be mourning for him. Chris hadn't talked much about his family, except to say his parents were dead, and that he hadn't seen his younger brother in years and didn't particularly want to. He hadn't pressed him on the matter, so he didn't know what had gone on there, but he guessed it was to do with Chris's personality. According to the news report he was back in the country, after being informed of his brother's murder.

The next image that had appeared on the screen had taken him aback, Jackson too, it was a news reporter speaking from the crime scene. Oak Cottage could clearly be seen in the background. Their home was on the news! It was described as being the scene of a brutal murder, the commentary going on to tell the viewing audience that a local man was helping the police with their enquiries. They hadn't given his name but it was obviously him they were talking about.

The CCT footage was shown next, along with an appeal for the man shown in it and anyone who thought they could identify him to get in touch with the police. It was the first time for Jackson to see Joel, and Aaron knew he'd been studying the grainy picture closely. He wanted a good look at the man who he held responsible for their ongoing nightmare.

The whole thing had shaken him up, put him on edge again. Jackson had tried to reassure him, insisting someone would recognise Joel, and that it was only a matter of time before the police hauled him in for questioning, he was confident the truth would come out then. It probably would, but would it be what they were so desperate to hear? If it wasn't then... no, he wasn't going there, not now.

He'd chosen that time to tell Jackson about his decision not to return to the cottage. Seeing it on TV, well their world had been invaded still further, it had made his resolve even stronger. Jackson hadn't said much, except that he understood him feeling that way. He didn't think Jackson would accept what he'd said so easily, had expected an argument, some reasoning on his part at least, but no, he'd turned the conversation onto something else. He'd been relieved at the time but knew Jackson was just biding his time and waiting until he thought him in a more reasonable mood. Well, as far as Oak Cottage was concerned, that was never going to happen!

Heaving a weary sigh, he nuzzled his face closer to Jackson's...

There was someone knocking on the door. Pounding on it! His first reaction was to look at the bedside clock. O1:00. Who the hell could that be? 

"Jackson!" He'd turned to where his boyfriend should be only to find he wasn't. The hammering on the front door came again and he scrambled out of bed, switching on the bedside light as he did so; after quickly pulling on his clothes, he made for the door. As he stepped onto the landing, he called Jackson's name again, louder this time, still there was no response. Where the hell was he?

The pounding on the door started up again, this time accompanied by shouting. He ran down the stairs aware someone was now behind him, Jackson!

By the time he'd reached the bottom of the stairs, the knocking had stopped, but an eerie silence had replaced it, and he suddenly felt scared. He turned around to ask Jackson what was going on, but it wasn't Jackson standing behind him... it was Joel! What was he doing here? What was he doing at Paddy's? He opened his mouth to ask him but the sound of breaking glass drew his attention. His eyes locked on the kitchen door, someone was in there, someone had broken in... and he wasn't at Paddy's! He was at home...

Jackson had been in a deep sleep, his slumber suddenly disturbed by movement, by noise. Aaron? It took a little while for his mind to register what was happening, Aaron was flailing about in his arms, he was calling out and he could hear fear in his voice!

"Aaron? Wake up, come on, wake up." He'd tried holding onto him, tried to wake him gently but Aaron just struggled against him. Realising it wasn't helping any, that Aaron remained trapped in a nightmare, he released his hold and clambered onto his knees, switching on the bedside light before turning his attention back to his boyfriend. Aaron had been like this in the hospital, he'd had to shake him awake then and he was going to have to do it again now. But Aaron was thrashing wildly, and he wasn't finding it so easy to do this time. As he battled to wake him, Aaron's struggles became more violent, his voice soaring higher, two familiar names peppering his ramblings... Joel and Chris!

Suddenly, Aaron's eyes opened, and for a split second, Jackson thought he'd reached him, but he quickly realised it wasn't him Aaron was seeing, it was Chris! That in his mind it was Chris he was fighting off.

"Aaron, it's me! It's Jackson." All he could do was repeat the reassurance over and over, knowing it would eventually get through the haze Aaron was lost in.

It seemed to take forever, but Aaron's struggling at last began to ease off, the tension slowly drained from his body and the fear in his eyes was replaced by confusion.

"Jackson?"

"Yeah." Relief washed over him, watching Aaron going through that kind of hell had been a gut-wrenching experience. "It's ok, it was just a dream, a bad dream." He soothed as he tried to pull Aaron into his arms, but he was still resisting contact, then shrugging off his arms the younger man got out of bed. "Aaron?" His boyfriend was agitatedly pacing the floor, his skin slick with perspiration, his entire being now trembling. Jumping out of bed he reached out to him, wanting to hold him, wanting to comfort him, but Aaron backed away, his words taking him aback.

"Don't touch me!"

Jackson was really worried now, he had no idea what was going on in Aaron's head. If he wouldn't let him physically comfort him, then all he could do was talk to him, try to reassure him that way, "Aaron, you had another nightmare..."

"No! No it wasn't a nightmare, not this time it wasn't! It was different this time."

"How was it different?"

"I can remember some of the things happening."

"What things?"

"Chris... he had me up against the wall, just like that night he tried to rape me..."

He'd been wondering just how rational Aaron was at the moment, having just been woken from a nightmare, that comment at least explained why he didn't want him anywhere near him right now.

"He was in my face... accusing me of sleeping with Joel..."

"And you're sure it's a memory?" He wanted to believe it was, that Aaron was finally remembering that night, but with it coming so out of the blue he didn't know what to think.

"Yeah." His head was awash with images, some clear, some he could make little sense of but he knew that everything spinning around in his head was from that night. "Joel... he was there, Jackson! He was in the room with me and Chris!"

Jackson started to edge closer to Aaron, having now accepted that there was more to this than he'd first thought, "What else do you remember?" he encouraged softly.

Aaron closed his eyes in an attempt to concentrate, to get the images in some sort of order, opening them as he began to speak. "Chris was hammering on the front door... shouting for Joel... wanting to know what he was doing with me. Then it all went quiet, but I knew he was still out there. Joel was... he was standing at the top of the stairs! I told him to stay where he was, to phone the police. Then I realised Chris was at the back door, he'd started pounding on it, on the glass. I heard it break... I heard him in the kitchen... I was scared Jackson!"

Jackson heard shame in Aaron's voice, could see it in his eyes, it tore at his heart, but before he had chance to say something to reassure him, Aaron was talking again.

"Then Chris was there, standing in the doorway..." He'd seen Chris angry before, but this was different, his eyes were wild, his jaw clenched so tight that the veins in his neck were standing out.

"I told him to get out, that the police were on their way..." Suddenly, a truth dawned on him. "Joel! He didn't call the police, did he? He can't have done."

"No." Jackson acknowledged. He'd been the one to ring the emergency services.

"He started shouting at me, accusing me of sleeping with Joel. I told him he was wrong, I told him Joel was there because he'd beaten him up... but that wasn't what he wanted to hear, he didn't want to know about that. It was just making him more angry. He came at me... somehow we ended up in the living room... I was on my knees but the blows kept coming... then Joel was there and... and..."

"And what?"

Aaron rubbed his aching head, he was having trouble remembering that bit, it wasn't so clear in his mind...

"Aaron?" His boyfriend didn't look so good, he was unnaturally pale, fresh beads of sweat were forming on his brow, this was proving to be an ordeal for him and Jackson wasn't sure if he should be encouraging it or not. But it was so important that Aaron remember what happened, "C'mon." Deciding it was time to take charge of the situation, he wrapped his arm around the younger man's waist and led him back over to the bed where he sat down beside him. He'd give him a few more minutes and then push him a little more.

Aaron was relieved to be sitting down, he wasn't sure his legs would have supported him much longer. They'd given way under him that night, he'd crumpled under the force of Chris's punches, and the pain in his arm... that was it! The sharp sickening pain had overpowered him for a little while, and he'd thought he was going to pass out. He'd struggled to stay conscious, was scared he wouldn't wake up again if he gave into the encroaching darkness. Suddenly, Chris's attention had turned elsewhere, to Joel.

"They were arguing..." the exchange growing more and more heated "...but then Chris... he started laughing!"

"Laughing?" Jackson was more than a little perplexed by what Aaron had just said.

"He was laughing at Joel, taunting him." Aaron swallowed hard at the memory, that's when he'd realised Joel had something in his hand, "Joel had a knife, Chris said he wasn't man enough to use it but then... Chris went for him and Joel, he..." It was like watching a knife slice through butter, there was no resistance. "Chris just stood there, staring at him. I could see blood on the knife and this red stain on Chris's shirt that was getting bigger and bigger." Time seemed to stand still then, no one moved, no one uttered a word, there was just this awful silence. "Then Chris made a grab for the knife... it all happened so fast... I watched him fall, I could see the blood pooling around him. I started crawling towards him... I hated him but I couldn't let him die! I told Joel to ring for help but he... he said it was too late, he said Chris was dead!"

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

Spectre

Part 29

"I didn't kill him! I didn't kill Chris!"

Aaron had said those words with such heartfelt relief and Jackson had shared in his moment. They'd hugged each other, shed some tears together. The dark cloud that had been hovering over them this last week had suddenly disappeared, a great weight had been lifted off their shoulders and they felt able to breathe again. But they'd had to come down off that high and quickly. Aaron had been told to inform the police immediately, day or night should he remember anything vital to the murder inquiry. He'd wanted to ready himself first though, so while he was in the bathroom, Jackson made his way downstairs. He was going to make them a much-needed cup of tea, and one for Paddy too. They were going to share the news with him before phoning the police.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Jackson had assumed it was his boyfriend but to his surprise it was Paddy who walked into the kitchen.

"Is everything alright?" Paddy hadn't slept very well and during one of his wakeful spells, he'd been aware of activity elsewhere in the house. With it being such an ungodly hour of the morning, he'd been worried something was wrong and had come to investigate.

"Yeah, it certainly is." Jackson smiled, "I was just about to wake you..."

"Why, what's happened?" Paddy was thrown by the younger man's reaction, it had been a while since he'd seen Jackson's face light up like that, none of them had much to smile about right now, so what could possibly..."

"Aaron remembered what happened with Davies, it was Joel who stabbed him."

"Oh thank God!" Paddy had been so worried. Aaron and what he'd been through were constantly on his mind, but it seemed the end of his ordeal was now in sight.

"I'll let him tell you about it. He's just taking a shower; he needed to freshen up after the nightmare..."

"Nightmare? What, he's had another one of those dreams?"

"Yeah. I woke him up and that's when he remembered."

"Aaron dreamt it was Joel?"

"No! No, the dream somehow triggered the memory." Paddy wasn't looking so pleased anymore, "Paddy?"

Paddy shrugged, he didn't want to put a dampener on things but he had an uneasy feeling about this and knew he had no choice but to share his concerns, "It's just what David said about Aaron mixing dreams with reality..."

"No Paddy, this is different! He clearly remembers everything that happened that night."

"If he says he does, then I believe him. But it's not me who he's going to have to convince, is it?" He knew someone who wouldn't take Aaron at his word, whose job it was to question anything and everything.

"You mean the police?"

"Yes, and you know what they're like, suspicious of everything! The thing is David's asked them to ignore what Aaron's nightmares had him say yesterday, something that could possibly incriminate him, but now we're wanting them to believe a nightmares had him remember something that proves he's innocent!"

"Paddy's right," Aaron stated from the hallway doorway. He'd been standing there unnoticed, listening to the two older men's conversation. "The police will say I can't have it both ways."

"They can't twist things just when it suits them," Jackson insisted.

"They'll say it's what I'm doing..."

"No..."

"You didn't believe me at first, you thought it was the dream talking..."

"No...ok, I wasn't sure at first but I soon realised the truth and so will they. They'll question you, and they'll know, they'll see for themselves that what you're saying is fact."

"Yeah." He wasn't going to debate the matter any further. Jackson was right, he had truth on his side now. Knowing the truth gave him the strength to fight his corner, he would make them listen, make them believe he was innocent.

"I'm sorry..." Paddy began, he hadn't wanted to turn things sour, "I just thought it best I say something."

"I know and it'll be the first thing David thinks of too, but he'll know how to handle it, won't he?" Aaron was confident he would, he always knew a way around things, he'd help get him over this hurdle too.

"You need to speak to him before saying anything to the police..."

The house phone had started to ring claiming all their attention.

"Who the heck's that?" Paddy hurried to the living room, he wasn't on call so a phone call that time of the morning was more than a little ominous. It brought back memories of the early morning phone call he'd received from Jackson, the one informing him about Aaron the night Chris died. He'd picked up Chas and they'd made a mad dash for the hospital. That's when this nightmare had started for them.

Paddy had been taken aback on realising it was one of the officers in charge of the murder inquiry, more so on hearing he wanted to speak to Aaron. He made a point of telling the officer Aaron had been about to contact him, before handing the phone over to the younger man.

"Yeah... Yeah I was, I've remembered something, well everything in fact... Why? ...Yeah, yeah I... Ok... Yeah just as soon as I can."

Jackson and Paddy listened on tenterhooks, something was afoot and by the gist of the conversation and the look on Aaron's face, it wasn't good.

"Aaron, what is it?" Jackson asked the second his boyfriend ended the call.

"Joel! He walked into Hotton police station late last night."

"But, that's good news, isn't it?" Jackson exclaimed, they'd been desperate for him to turn up.

"Yeah... I don't know. They want me there for more questioning, they told me to be sure and bring my solicitor... something's wrong, I know it is."

"He's supposed to be with you." Jackson stated wanting to reassure his boyfriend, Aaron was reading too much into this, at least he hoped he was.

Paddy had got straight on the phone to David Smith. After Aaron had detailed his memory of Chris's death, David had arranged to meet him at the police station. One and a half hours later, the two of them were sitting in an interview room along with DC White, their conversation being recorded.

"We've spoken to and taken a statement from a Mr. Joel McKenzie. The problem is his statement differs vastly from yours..."

"In what way?" Aaron demanded, his heart beginning to race in anticipation of what he might hear.

"He admits to being at Oak Cottage on the night in question. He states that he called around 11 p.m. to tell you that he'd ended his relationship with Christopher Davies, but that's the only correlation between the two accounts. Mr. McKenzie says he left just before midnight..."

"No!" Aaron exclaimed as the implications of the detective's words hit home. It was his word against Joel's and he knew how it looked, who everyone would believe. The evidence was stacked against him. He'd end up being charged, he'd plead not guilty and end up in court. He couldn't go through all that again, not again!

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Spectre

Part 30

"Why don't you go home Paddy, put your head down for a few hours, I'll ring as soon as I know something." Jackson was worried about the older man, he was pale, the strain of the last week etched on his face. He'd lost a lot of sleep but somehow was still managing to carry on with his working day, and a long working day it was at times.

"No."

"But there's nothing you can do and..."

"I can be here for you; the waiting would be even harder on your own."

"True." He had to acknowledge that fact. They'd been sitting in the waiting area of Hotton police station for almost two hours, if he hadn't had Paddy to talk to, he'd probably have been climbing the walls by now.

"And anyway, I need to be here, I know Aaron's got you but I want to be here for him too."

"You're worried, aren't you?" They'd both been outwardly positive up until now, each being strong for the other but suddenly there was a crack in the facade.

"I don't like it. I don't like how this Joel suddenly turned up after the police appeal. I don't like that Aaron's been in there all this time either. All he had to do was tell them what he's remembered about that night, they should have let him go by now!"

Jackson could only nod in agreement, he knew he should be trying to reassure Paddy, but what was the point? The only thing that would allay his friends concerns, and his own for that matter, was if Aaron walked out of the interview room and told them the nightmare was over. They both now sensed that it was far from over.

Deciding they were both about ready for another hot drink, he got to his feet, his hand dipping into his jeans pocket for some change. Stepping over to the nearby vending machine, he heaped sugar into two plastic cups, telling himself a sugar rush wouldn't go amiss right now.

/

Aaron knew the police didn't believe his recently remembered account of events. For one thing, they were suspicious of the way his memory had suddenly come flooding back, and Joel's version was not only believable but also fitted the evidence available, and so all in all it pointed to his guilt.

They'd tied him up in knots with all the questions they'd fired at him. David had stepped in where he could to help him but, in the end, it had been down to him, to how he'd answered their questions, how he'd fought his corner... and he knew he hadn't done a very good job at that. He'd got angry, frustrated, had mouthed off because it had got to the point where he felt he was fighting a losing battle and the unfairness of it all had got to him. He hadn't done anything wrong, he'd only tried to help Joel and in doing so had caused himself and his loved ones no end of grief. Things would only get worse, he knew it was all going to end badly.

When they finally came, the detective's words should have hit him like a blow to the face, but they didn't, he'd been expecting them and so accepted them calmly. He was hurting inside though, there was this strange ache in his chest that made him feel sick… he'd let everyone down, Jackson especially.

/

An hour later, Jackson was making yet another drink, coffee this time, hopefully it would fend off the latest wave of tiredness to have hit him. As he stood dropping coins into the designated payment slot, a door opened to his right. His heart lurched in his chest on hearing it and his gaze moved expectantly towards Interview Room 1. DC White had been the first to appear followed by Aaron and then David Smith, another plain-clothes police officer bringing up the rear.

Aaron's head was bowed, his shoulders slumped, he was a picture of dejection. "Aaron?"

The troubled blue eyes met his but only briefly before looking down and away again. It was a grim-faced Smith who walked over to them while Aaron was led over to the reception desk and the Duty Sergeant.

"What's going on?" Jackson demanded, Paddy was now on his feet and standing beside him as eager as he was to hear the solicitor's reply.

"Aaron's just been charged with the murder of Christopher Davies."

/

He was sipping on another hot drink now, only this time out of a proper ceramic mug and not one of those crappy plastic things he'd been drinking from earlier. They were back at the Smithy, just him and Paddy, Aaron now locked up in a holding cell until his bail hearing. He'd hated leaving him there, had loudly protested at having to do so. He'd done more than protest, he'd actually lost his temper, lost it good and proper. Well, the police hadn't let him talk to him, and Aaron... Aaron had needed him, he'd looked so lost, so scared!

Paddy had calmed him down and quickly, telling him his show of anger wasn't helping Aaron. That's all it had taken to crush his rage, to jolt him to his senses. His attention had turned back to David then, he was desperate for answers, and he'd got them, not quite able to believe what he was hearing.

Joel McKenzie had lied through his teeth! He'd convinced the police of his innocence or seemed to have because he was still walking around a free man, there was no murder charge hanging over his head.

Joel had concocted a different story to Aaron's, twisted the truth in his favour, he'd had plenty of time to do that just like David Smith had pointed out. Jackson wanted to believe Smith would fight for Aaron and win, he'd played a blinder where Davies was concerned, he'd made sure he was convicted for his crimes. But this was different, the evidence had been stacked against Aaron from the start and Joel's statement was in Smith's own words damning.

It was almost 8 a.m. now and Paddy was on the phone to Chas, he'd left it as late as he dared to tell her about the latest development. He was sitting a good few feet away from the older man but he could still hear the hysteria coming down the line. Jackson knew it wouldn't be long before she joined them, demanding answers, filling the room with her outrage, with her fear. It was the last thing either he or Paddy needed right now, but she was Aaron's mum, she loved him, and because they loved him they were going to have to somehow get her through this.

Just minutes after Paddy had set down the phone, the front door had crashed open, Chas storming into the kitchen, the peace shattered by her shrill voice.

Paddy had surprised him a little, he'd taken charge, somehow talked Chas down off her panic-filled high horse. She was sitting across the table from him now, her face pale, for once bare, completely free of makeup, he wasn't sure if it was that or the latest news about her son but something had added years to her.

"What if he doesn't get bail?"

That was one question they did have an answer to, he left it to Paddy to reply to Chas though.

"David's confident he will, he doesn't pose a risk to…"

"But what if he doesn't? What then?"

"You know what?" Jackson snapped, he couldn't help himself, the answer was an obvious one, Aaron would go to prison on remand.

"But he's innocent!"

"We know he is!" He snapped a little louder this time. Chas was really irritating him, it wasn't taking much right now. She was eyeing him coldly now, and he should have known she was ready to hit back at him, but what came out of her mouth next took him aback.

"If you hadn't taken that job away, if you'd been here, none of this would have happened."

"Chas!" Paddy exclaimed, the older man appalled by what he'd just heard.

"Well, it's true, how could he leave Aaron knowing that creep was out of prison?"

As Paddy jumped to his defense again, he interrupted, "No, she's right, I should have been here, I should have been here for Aaron, instead I left him to deal with what was happening on his own…"

"But nothing was happening!" Paddy stated loudly. "Nothing to give us any hint of what was to come. Life had to go on and it still does and us at each other's throats is only going to make it harder. For Aaron's sake, we have to pull together. "

An uncomfortable silence fell around the room but not for long, Chas surprising him again with an apology.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so worried about him."

He'd given Chas a half smile to let her know it was ok, that he understood. He was worried sick about Aaron too, it was what was making him so tetchy. His mind kept replaying the scene at the police station, Aaron being led away to the holding cell. He'd seemed resigned to what was happening to him, not that he'd wanted him to kick off or anything, to have to be wrestled to the cell. It was just… well it was as if all the fight had drained out of him, as if he'd lost all hope. It had scared him seeing him like that.

/

The smell of disinfectant didn't quite mask the unpleasant odour of sweat and urine, the cells last inhabitant had left a lingering reminder of his presence. As if he didn't feel dirty enough being in here as it was, that made it ten times worse. The drab, grey walls, the weak artificial light gave the place a grimy feel, he hadn't been in here long, half an hour tops, but it was already getting to him. He had no idea how long he'd have to be in here, but hopefully the bail hearing would be today… and hopefully he'd be released, if not… if not he'd be locked up until the trial and most probably for years after that. He'd spend a lot more time in prison than Chris did and he was innocent.

He knew he shouldn't be thinking that way, that he should try to remain positive, well he'd tried that and look where it had got him… in a Hotton police cell on a murder charge!

As much as he liked and respected David Smith, he just didn't think he could save his bacon this time. He knew it wouldn't be for the want of trying, that he would give it his all, but still the man himself couldn't give him an iron clad guarantee of success, no one could. And that knowledge had him believe his one real hope now was to be bailed… they wouldn't see him for dust then!

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

Spectre

Part 31

Someone, Jackson most probably, had dropped off his suit, and he'd put it on wondering just what difference his wearing it would make. It wasn't likely to swing the judge's decision now, was it? Wearing a suit didn't make him look less like a murderer, did it? It just made him look like someone trying to make a good impression.

He'd been told his bail hearing would take place at 4 p.m., that his case had been squeezed in; if it hadn't, it would have been tomorrow before he knew his fate. He'd been allowed to make one phone call after finding out the time. Aaron knew he should phone home, speak to Jackson, but knowing David Smith would inform them of the latest development, he'd instead phoned Cain. He'd kept the conversation short and ambiguous, somebody might be listening in on it for all he knew. All he'd said was, 'If I get bail, I'll come see you,' there'd been a slight pause before his uncle replied with a simple 'ok', he knew he'd got the message, what he expected him to do.

Aaron didn't want Jackson or his family to endure the stress of the hearing but knew there was no point in telling them to stay away, they'd be there come hell or high water, and anyway, he really needed them there. They were probably already in court, seated and waiting for him to arrive. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to wait much longer, David Smith had just left him to ready himself for the proceedings, now he was just waiting for the cell door to open, for his police escort to arrive!

David had been upbeat, had told him they'd had a bit of luck as far as the Judge was concerned, Judge James Connor had a reputation for being lenient. Aaron supposed he should feel more confident on hearing that but he didn't, knowing his luck the Judge was having an off day, wouldn't like the look of him and after taking a read through of his past record, would decide to withhold bail.

He could hear footsteps now, they were getting closer, 'this is it' he told himself as he got to his feet.

/

Just as he'd expected, his loved ones were already in court, smiling encouragingly at him; he managed a half smile back, it was a weak effort, he knew, but he was so tense, every muscle, every sinew taut and strained. His heart was thundering in his chest and his mouth was miserably dry. What he wouldn't give for a sip of water right now.

The dock was looming ahead of him, on seeing it a shiver ran down his spine, it held a lot of unpleasant memories, and he desperately wanted this to be the last time he stood in one, but the likelihood of that was… no he wasn't going there, not now, he'd talked himself into a gloomy enough mood as it was.

Within minutes of taking his place, he was told the charges that had been brought against him, nothing he didn't already know. That had taken all of a couple of minutes, and then it was David Smith who took centre stage. The solicitor had pulled out all the stops to persuade the Judge his client posed no threat to the public, and was no flight risk. He had all sorts of documentation to back his words, he'd obviously prepared for this in advance, had been, it seemed, ready for any eventuality. He felt guilty now, he'd be letting David down if he did get bail only to do a runner, and also whoever stood surety as they would be liable for the expense. It wasn't sounding like a good idea all of a sudden, he hadn't considered how such an action would impact on all those involved. He pushed that unsettling thought aside; he had to concentrate on what was happening around him.

Thankfully, he didn't have to speak himself, not unless posed a direct question by the judge which, according to David, wasn't all that likely. No, he just had to stand there and look respectful of his surroundings and that meant good posture and maintaining eye contact. If he could do that at Chris's trial, he could certainly do it here.

Again, he found himself impressed by David's skilled handling of a legal situation, he'd managed to make him sound a model citizen. David described him as a successful business man, a man who had a 50% share in a thriving automotive repair business, he'd highlighted the fact he was a homeowner, and that he was in a long term loving relationship, and surrounded by close family and friends. He quite liked the sound of himself… but would Judge Connor?

In the end, it was over before he quite realised it, and it had left him a little dazed. He'd been given conditional bail, Jackson's name given as the person standing as surety.

He was actually free to go, albeit with some conditions attached. He had to surrender his passport, and report to Hotton police station at regular intervals, but that was it. It had proved a lot easier than he thought it would be, at least David had made it look so very easy.

He could remember thanking the judge, but leaving the courtroom was a bit of a blur. Although he'd been desperate to get bail, he'd never really believed he would and it was taking a little while for him to absorb the news. His mum's squeal of delight as he'd walked into the corridor had jolted him to his senses, and he was soon aware of her arms around him, of her hugging him so tightly he could barely breathe. It was a bit like pass the parcel then, Paddy hugging him and then Jackson, his mother then staking her claim on him again. The relief was coming off them in waves; they'd obviously not been expecting him to get bail either.

David had waved off their gratitude, reminding them this was only the beginning, that he would be in touch in a few days time to discuss the case. In the meantime, they were to carry on as normal, keep busy, the solicitor ending with his usual mantra of 'stay positive.' If only he could.

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

Spectre

Part 32

Jackson had some news for him, had waited until they'd got back to Paddy's before telling him it. He'd been given back the keys to their cottage, they could return to it whenever they wanted to now. Only he didn't want to, and had loudly reminded his boyfriend of that fact.

He'd gone straight up to the bathroom after his outburst, hurriedly removing his clothes, eager to get in the shower to wash the smell of the holding cell away, he wouldn't feel clean until he did so. He intended having his suit dry-cleaned too, he wanted it fresh for the trial… what was he thinking? He wasn't going to be here for the trial. But could he… they really just take off and not look back? Now that plans were in motion, he was having doubts about it all. He knew Jackson had said that if the time came he'd do it but, it was a lot to expect of him, and they were going to have to keep it secret from everyone else. How could he leave without telling his mum and Paddy, how could he do that to them? Then there was Oak Cottage and the garage, what did they do about them?

As he stood under the steaming jets of water, he remembered the night this had all kicked off, not the night Chris died but the night he'd tried to rape him, the night he'd phoned Jackson for help. He'd taken a shower that night, trying to wash the taste of Chris away, so too his touch. He'd been scared and confused then too, he hadn't known what to do, how to rid himself of the wretchedness he felt. Jackson had got him through the night, his words, his gentle touch soothing him, giving him strength.

Turning off the shower, he reached for a towel, wrapping it around him as he stepped onto the tiled floor. Removing the protective cover from his cast, he set about drying himself, his actions hindered by having one arm encased in fiberglass, he couldn't wait for it to come off, to get full use back.

Aaron wasn't surprised to find Jackson sitting on their bed waiting for him, and as he'd walked into the room, the older man had stood up, eyeing him expectantly, a silent plea for him to open up to him, to tell him what was going on in his head right now.

An apology for his earlier show of temper had tripped readily off his tongue, but his next words had been hesitant, he'd slowly worked through his doubts about leaving, his fears about going through another trial. Jackson had listened quietly to him, waiting for him to finish before wrapping his arms around him, holding him close. He stood there soaking up his warmth, his words of reassurance, his love.

He'd somehow ended up on the bed, Jackson covering his nakedness like he had that night five years ago, and just like then, lying with him until sleep claimed him.

/

With Aaron getting some much-needed shuteye, Jackson made his way down to Tug Ghyll, he'd told Chas and Paddy that he needed some air. He didn't want them getting wind of what was going on. He rapped lightly on the door, Cain answering almost immediately and gesturing for him to come inside.

It wasn't a social call and he stood just inside the doorway not quite able to believe his reason for being there.

Cain was the first to speak, his eyes narrowing as he said scornfully, "I told you what would happen."

Cain's tone irritated an already edgy Jackson and he snapped back, "Yeah, you did, but I haven't come to hear you say I told you so, now did you sort something out?"

"The wheels are in motion, keep Friday free."

"Friday?" That was the day after tomorrow; it didn't give them much time to do whatever they had to before leaving.

"You said you wanted to get Aaron away ASAP."

"I do, it's just…'' "

"Just what? Are you having doubts? Because if you are, you could jeopardize everything by dithering."

"No, I'm not, but I think Aaron is…"

"He rang me this morning giving me the green light."

"I know, he said, but that was this morning, he's…"

"He's what?"

"I don't know, he's weary of it all, I suppose, the last few days have taken their toll and…"

"You mean he's bricking it? Then he needs to grow a pair."

"He's not like you, he's got a conscience, a heart, he's thinking about his mum and Paddy…"

"Then he needs to ask them where they'd rather him be this time next year, breathing the fresh air of a foreign clime or the stale air of a prison cell. We both know what they'd say."

"He just needs a bit of time." He didn't want to push Aaron into doing this, he wanted him to be sure about it.

"Well, time's something he hasn't got! It's Friday or not at all."

"Ok." He didn't feel he had much option but to agree.

"Good, come see me tomorrow night, I'll tell you what I can then."

He turned around to leave, remembering then that he'd forgotten to do something. Glancing over his shoulder at the older man, he said, "Thanks for this." They were indebted to Cain. Although it had been Cain's idea, Jackson knew it wasn't what he wanted for his nephew, and that he'd take flack from the family for arranging it. He was taking a lot on himself. Cain acknowledged his words with a slight nod of his head; on seeing that, Jackson opened the front door and stepped out into the early evening air, making his way back up the hill to Paddy's. Halfway up, he spotted David Smith's car pulling up outside the Smithy. What was he doing here?

TBC


	33. Chapter 33

Spectre

Part 33

Aaron looked so peaceful lying there, his features relaxed in sleep. He didn't look to have a care in the world and Jackson was loathe to wake him, but David said he had some news for them and insisted Aaron hear it straightaway.

His boyfriend had been in a deep sleep and had taken some waking, but on hearing David was there with something important to tell him, he'd shot out of bed, hurriedly pulling on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, before leading the way downstairs and into the living room.

As soon as they were seated, David began speaking.

"I have two things to tell you, firstly I've had the coroner's report back and it makes very interesting reading! A forensic autopsy is an exact science these days. With it, they can tell exactly how a knife entered the victim, even which hand delivered the fatal blow, and this report states it was made by a right-handed person.

"I'm right-handed," Aaron stated quietly, he'd hoped to hear good news but this was just further proof he'd killed Chris.

"But your right arm is broken! I've just had a very informative conversation with an expert on such things and he tells me there in no way you could have stabbed Davies in the manner he was if you had a broken right arm; apart from the pain, it would lack the necessary strength…"

"The police will just say I stabbed him before Chris broke it."

"They could say that about the first strike, the knife hit a rib, Davies would have been bleeding but it would have had little initial effect on a man of his size and fitness level. With the second stabbing, the fatal one that punctured the heart, Davies would have collapsed almost immediately, died soon after. Apart from all that corresponding with your statement, it also proves you were physically incapable of stabbing him."

Excitement erupted around him, Jackson, Paddy and his mum all talking at once, all wanting to know if the charges against him would now be dropped. Aaron could only stare at his solicitor, he wanted to believe this was something that could clear him, but was scared to.

"It's not that simple, I'm afraid, as things stand now, I'd say it will still go to court, but in my opinion, it's something that will help find you innocent. It's good news, Aaron."

"Yeah." Of course it was, it just didn't give him the measure of reassurance he so needed.

"You said two things." Jackson pointed out, eager to hear what else the solicitor had to say.

"Indeed, and although not as powerful a piece of evidence in Aaron's defense, my second piece of news could possibly be the start of the end."

"How'd you mean?" Aaron asked.

"I rang DC White before leaving the office, he informed me of another development. As you know, McKenzie makes no mention in his statement about you moving his car, of you getting within an inch of it but, your fingerprints have been found both inside and on the outside of the car. He's going to have to explain their presence, he'll probably try but I think it's a little too late in the day, I think the fact he's been caught out there might be enough to shake him. He's only eighteen, just a kid and a decent enough one from what I've found out about him. I think he panicked on seeing Davies was dead and, out of desperation, tried to make you look like the guilty party. He managed to wipe all traces of him being at Oak cottage, but in his haste to get away, he forgot you'd driven his car. The fact your prints were found on it gives further credence to your account of what happened.

Again, voices soared around him, fuelled by the latest unexpected development, he though just couldn't muster the same level of emotion, he just felt… he didn't really know how he felt. He just kept thinking about the old saying… if things seemed too good to be true then they probably were!

"Aaron?"

David was looking at him now, expecting something more than the blank look he was getting.

"So, what will happen now?" That was about all he could think of to say.

"The police will question Joel again, put the recent findings to him and take it from there. At the very least, it will unsettle him, he might even drop himself in it in some way, but what I'm hoping is that he'll see sense and confess.

"It's a lot to hope for," Aaron said quietly, he certainly wasn't going to get his hopes up, not when there was every chance of them being crushed again.

"Aaron, I know you've been through hell, I know it looked pretty bleak for a while there, but now's not the time to give up, the tides turned. I know you hate the thought of going through another trial and I'm sorry that I can't promise this nightmare will end without one. But I'm as confident as I can be of winning. You just need to trust me.

/

There was just the two of them now, David had left, so too his mum, and Paddy was in the surgery trying to catch up with his paperwork. He and Jackson were sitting together on the sofa, huddled close, working their way up to making what was probably the most important decision of their lives.

"Friday?"

"That's what he said, that or nothing. So we need to decide what to do. It's looking so much more hopeful now…"

"If I thought Joel would change his story, or if I knew for sure it would go my way in court, I'd stay and face it but nothing's certain, is it, Jackson?"

"Nothing is in life, but David's confident he … "

"What if he's wrong? What if some independent expert is called to give his opinion and trashes David's evidence. You know what was said in Chris's trial, about experts and their opinions differing."

"So, you still want to leave."

"I don't know. The thought of taking off scares me as much as staying does. You want to stay, don't you?"

"I just want what's best for you."

"And you think staying is?"

"I was beginning to think it was," Jackson admitted, "but now I just don't know, it's a huge decision and we've got to make the right one."

"You always listen to your heart, what does that tell you to do?" He, on the other hand, had a tendency to do what his head told him to do, and how many times had it got him into trouble!

Jackson paused just briefly, "To stay, to sit it out, that it will go our way."

Aaron heaved a resolved sigh, "Alright, we stay."

TBC


	34. Chapter 34

Spectre

Part 34

Jackson had said he'd tell Cain of their change of plans, but Aaron wanted to do it himself, even if it meant traipsing through the village to do so.

He still didn't feel up to facing people, even though he now knew he'd done nothing wrong. But it was all still a mess, he was still up on a murder charge. How could you pass the time of day with someone who knew that about you? Would the person just ignore the fact or ask him about it? Betty would, and Brenda for that matter, they wouldn't think twice. He couldn't tell them anything even if he wanted to, David had advised him against discussing it with anyone, just in case it reached the press and jeopardized his case in any way.

It was just after seven Thursday morning, Cain would be on his second mug of tea by now, reading the newspaper. Reading! He'd ogle the page 3 girl then turn to the sports pages, those were the only things he'd bother to look at.

He used to think he was like Cain, had wanted to be like him, hard, scared of nothing and no one, he'd wanted people to be scared of him too, he thought it would keep them at a distance, but he'd eventually realised it wasn't what he wanted at all. What he'd really wanted was to be loved.

Cain had done a runner himself some years back, he hadn't looked back, he was expecting him to do the same. He wouldn't be happy he was staying, was bound to try and change his mind, well he wouldn't be able to, nothing would now.

Thankfully, the village was deserted, except for the postman and he was heading in a different direction, so he wouldn't have to talk to him either.

The front door was on the latch so he walked right into Cain's and, just as he'd expected, found the older man sitting at the kitchen table, mug of tea in one hand, his eyes focused on an all but naked blonde.

"I told Jackson to come tonight."

"There won't be any need." His uncle was shaking his head at him now, Aaron held his searching gaze, determined to stand his ground.

/

Jackson took a sip of tea before eyeing Paddy across the breakfast table, he wanted the older man to know what was going on, how things stood on the home front, "Aaron wants to sell up, build somewhere else, start again."

"But you don't?" Paddy asked. It was all too clear what Aaron thought about returning to Oak cottage, but not nearly so where Jackson was concerned.

"I don't know is the answer. Something awful happened there, not to me but to Aaron, I have to consider his feelings above everything else but... I can't help feeling it's the wrong thing to do. One bad memory up against so many good ones? I think he needs to give it some thought, but he won't, he's adamant he's not going back."

"It's understandable..."

"I know it is, and if I didn't know just how much that cottage meant to him, I would be ringing the estate agent now. I just want him to let some time pass before deciding to take that step."

"So, what are you going to do?"

Reaching into his pocket for the keys to the cottage Jackson said, "For starters, I'm going to see what needs doing there, we can't even think about selling it until we put it back to how it was."

Just five minutes later, Jackson was parking his van on the cottage's drive. He had his tools in the back and so opened the rear doors to remove them.

As he stepped towards the front door, his gaze fell on the garden, it was in need of weeding, watering too, he'd do that later in the day, when it wasn't so hot. He'd concentrate on the inside for now, take a look around first and see what was what, prioritize the work. He had til Monday, he was going to have to get back to paid work then.

His first thought was to go upstairs, leave the living room til last, but he decided delaying the inevitable was a pointless exercise so, throwing open the door, he strode into the room where Chris had died. It proved a bit of a stomach-churner at first but he told himself he had to man up. After quickly scanning the room, he decided the first thing he needed to do was get rid of the blood stains. He had two options: get an industrial cleaner in or rip up the wood floor. He doubted there would be much difference in cost, not that it mattered in this instance. So... he'd lay a new floor! A little extreme maybe, but he was certain it would be the only thing Aaron would find anywhere near acceptable… he hadn't given up hope of him coming back here to live yet.

/

"It's too risky." Protested Cain.

"And doing a runner isn't? I'd say it was the riskier of the two options now, and if we're caught, Jackson would be in trouble, too."

"You need to start thinking about yourself."

"I am doing. Look, I know you think I'm stupid doing this..."

"No."

Aaron wasn't sure what to make of his uncle's answer or of the way he was looking at him right now. Cain was hard to read sometimes... most of the time, in fact. If he didn't know him better, he'd swear he was... that he was... no, no that couldn't be right. An awkward silence had fallen between them and he decided to fill it with something he knew was sure to get a reaction from his uncle. "I'll be back to work tomorrow..."

"Like that?" Cain spat as he gestured at the plaster cast on Aaron's arm, "Now you are being stupid."

"I can answer the phone, make calls, make the tea, there's lots of things I can do... "

"And lots of things you can't do, so just remember that!"

"See you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah." Cain replied with an air of disinterest, his gaze returning to the paper.

Once outside, Aaron looked towards the garage, just what would he have done about that? Cain would probably have bought him out, somehow sent him the money, they wouldn't get very far without money in their pockets. They hadn't thought it through at all. He hadn't even thought about Jackson's business! Although with him standing as surety, the court would have seized it, he'd have lost everything! All the years he'd put into building it up, the good name he'd earned, all gone in the blink of an eye. He'd been prepared to do that for him, and still would. He felt tears threaten, his emotions getting the better of him again. He blinked them away, he wasn't going to let even one fall, not here, not when the village was coming to life. Turning on his heels, he headed back up the hill, hoping to catch Jackson before he left, he wanted to tell him just how much he loved him.

He soon realised the van was missing from the front of Paddy's and his heart sank a little, it was going to have to keep, until lunchtime at least.

Finding the kitchen empty, he went in search of Paddy. The older man was preparing for his morning surgery.

"Is Cain happy to have you back?"

Aaron shrugged, "You could say that."

"Maybe it is a little too soon."

"Not you and all, Jackson said the exact same thing."

"He's worried about you."

"Well, he doesn't need to be, I'm fine. He's not though, he hasn't had a decent night's sleep since… and he didn't have to go there today, did he? It could have waited."

"He just wants to get on with it, get it over with. He said you're thinking of selling up."

"Yeah."

"And Jackson, doesn't get a say in it?"

"Is that what he said?"

"All he said was that you wouldn't talk about it. He's worried you'll regret it at some point down the line."

"Well, I won't."

"It's a big decision, not one to rush. I think…"

Aaron rounded on the older man, "What you think doesn't matter, it's none of your business what we do with the cottage…"

"The cottage might not be any of my business but you are…" Paddy countered, quietly but firmly,… "and like Jackson, I don't think you should make such a major decision without giving it a lot more thought, without talking it over with Jackson first, I think you owe him that much, don't you?"

Paddy's come back had made him feel about an inch tall, he'd mouthed off at him, but as hurtful as his comment had to have been, Paddy's only thought was for him, "I'm sorry. You're right, I'll talk to Jackson." He would the first chance he got, it wasn't going to change anything though, it wouldn't change the way he felt about Oak Cottage.

TBC


	35. Chapter 35

Spectre

Part 35

Thursday morning had passed quickly, an unexpected visit from Adam preventing the time from dragging. They weren't as close as they used to be, but they were still good friends and he'd come to see how he was doing. They didn't talk much about what had happened the week before, and only touched briefly on what had happened since. The conversation centered mostly around 'old times', the pair of them reminiscing like two old men. The trip down memory lane had done him good; it had really lifted his mood, he'd needed that brief escape from his present reality... that of waiting for Joel to crack, to confess... if he ever did.

He'd walked Adam to the door just in time to see Jackson's van turn the corner into the village.

After heating up a pasty each for them, he'd sat alongside Jackson at the table, his boyfriend asking about Adam, what he'd had to say. He'd then moved the conversation on to his van, saying it was making a funny noise; it didn't sound like anything much to Aaron but he'd promised to look at it. He got the feeling Jackson was avoiding talking about the cottage, he probably thought it best to sidestep the topic after the strop he'd thrown last night. He'd prefer to do that too but after his conversation with Paddy, he knew he wasn't being fair to him, "So, what've you been doing up there?"

Aaron asking a question about the cottage took him a little by surprise, because as far as he was concerned, it didn't seem to exist anymore. "I fixed the back door, put things back in their rightful places, did some cleaning, moved the dust around." He'd surprised himself, he was no domestic god usually but he'd cleaned the place from top to bottom, using elbow grease, bleach and at least two bottles of disinfectant. He'd been a little obsessive maybe, because the place wasn't at all dirty, but he'd felt better for doing it and the place smelt a damn sight better too.

"Have you finished now?" He didn't like to think of Jackson there on his own, he knew he should be with him, should be helping him, but there was no way he could go there, wild horses couldn't drag him there.

"No, not yet..." he hadn't even started on the floor "... the garden needs some attention, you know what weeds are like, turn your back on them for a minute and they take over the... "

"Jackson?" He didn't give a shit about the weeds.

"What?"

"How... how did you feel being there?" Jackson had been the one to find Chris's body, he hadn't really thought about that until now.

Another question that had taken him aback, "It wasn't easy, not at first, but..."

"But what?"

"The place is full of good memories, memories special to us, so I decided to have them for company, not Chris's ghost."

"I can't do that." He couldn't, he only had to think of the place and he pictured Chris dying.

"Not right now maybe, but given some time..."

"No." That image would haunt him forever.

The panicked look in Aaron's eyes told Jackson he had to back off, he was only going to retreat so far though. He knew Aaron better than anyone, knew he could get passed this and was certain he needed to. Chris had impacted on their lives in so many ways, they couldn't let him drive them out of their own home, they couldn't let him score even one point against them, not even in death.

"I'd better get back there..."

"I'm sorry." He was letting Jackson down again, letting his fears rule his life.

Jackson folded his hands around Aaron's and squeezed gently, "Don't be sorry. I don't want you to be sorry, I want you to be happy. I want it to be like it was before and if that means a new home, then so be it. I just want you to be sure about it, that's all."

He was, but maybe he shouldn't be rushing Jackson into doing this, "There's no hurry. Paddy doesn't mind us being here."

Jackson acknowledged his boyfriend's concession with a small smile, "I'll get it looking its best and if by then you still feel the same way, then we'll get someone in to value it."

"Yeah." That made sense, they wanted the best possible price, he had to wonder though if Chris's murder would affect its worth.

/

Jackson had made short work of ripping the hard wood floor up, a mix of brute force and frustration helping him in his quest. It would take a lot longer to replace it, that was more a job of skill than strength.

He'd phoned his order through that morning, had paid for same-day delivery, now the cartons were stacked in the hallway. He'd chosen a much darker wood this time, simply because it was a stark contrast to what had been down previously. He'd told himself it would make all the difference, that Aaron wouldn't associate it with Chris, not that there seemed much chance of his boyfriend ever seeing it. Was he just clutching at straws here? Was he wasting time, time he could be spending with Aaron? He just couldn't help thinking that if Aaron saw the place now, if he was there with him, that he'd feel differently.

Jackson had laid umpteen floors in his time, was a dab hand at it even if he did say so himself. Still, it could be time-consuming; he'd told Aaron he'd be back for five, so he doubted he'd get it finished today mores the pity. He'd have liked to have gone to bed knowing that one particular job was done.

/

Having searched through a pile of DVDs, Aaron finally found the one he was looking for. Paddy had told him it was a good one, and being a fast-paced thriller, it was just down his street. Danny Miller, the UK's latest action hero was in it, he was Jackson's favourite lead man, but he couldn't see what he saw in him himself!

Typically, the film had just reached an exciting bit when the house phone started to ring. Pressing the pause button, he grudgingly got to his feet and moved in its direction, certain sods law would have it stop ringing before he got to it. But not on this occasion.

Snatching up the handset, he heard a familiar voice.

"What?" David Smith was talking so fast, Aaron could barely make sense of his words, his solicitor had had to repeat all he'd said to him. He'd heard every word clearly this time, but still he wasn't registering them. "You mean... yeah, no I'm fine, I'm just... yeah, I will, see you later..."

His legs were trembling so much he had to sit down, but within seconds of sitting down, he was standing up again, his mind was racing, his heart pounding and he felt like he'd downed more than his usual quota of lager! Jackson, he needed to tell Jackson the news. He pulled his phone out of his pocket but then told himself this was something he had to do in person, he wanted to do it in person, he wanted to see Jackson's face when he told him. That meant going to the cottage... maybe he should just wait for Jackson to come home. No, this couldn't wait, Jackson needed to know now.

/

He'd got well over half the floor laid and was standing back admiring his handy work, it was going down easy enough, so he might just finish it today if he got a spurt on! He was instantly back down on his knees, stapling the next board into position. No matter how hard he tried though, he just couldn't concentrate fully on the job in hand, his mind kept wandering to Aaron, and to Joel. The police had to have questioned him again by now, he had to know the game was up, he had to be having second thoughts about what he'd done. But that depended on how desperate he was to remain a free man.

He supposed he should have some sympathy for him but he didn't, not after what had happened to Aaron, what could still happen to him. Joel was a victim all the same, Davies hadn't been out of prison five minutes before he was back to his old ways. Not anymore though, and maybe death was the only thing that could end the vicious cycle of manipulation and abuse... no, no there had to have been another way.

/

He seemed to have wings on his feet, the good news carrying him along because he'd reached Oak Cottage in what seemed little more than a blink of the eye. But what he saw on reaching the front gate stopped him in his tracks.

Jackson had said he'd been tidying up but, right now, the place looked a lot like a building site! A slight exaggeration maybe, but there was definitely some kind of work taking place. A flattened pile of boxes were stacked neatly to one side of the front door and on the other sat a collection of wood, wood that looked familiar, wood that looked suspiciously like... what the hell was Jackson doing?

Hovering by the front door, his gaze fell on the packs of hardwood and tubs of paint. When Jackson had said he was going to make the cottage look its best, he'd thought he meant seeing to all the little jobs that needed doing around the house, like stopping the kitchen tap from dripping. But here he was doing major renovation! There was no need for that.

Stepping into the hallway, he realised he didn't feel all that anxious about being there, not like he thought he would, but then he was on a bit of a high.

Between the noise of the pneumatic nail gun and the radio, Jackson hadn't heard him walk into the room, and so he stood watching him work. Only when Jackson sat back on his haunches to take a breather did Aaron make his presence known. "It's looking good."

A startled Jackson clambered to his feet, "Aaron?" He couldn't quite believe his eyes, not only was Aaron standing there but he was smiling too.

"It's over! Joel's admitted to killing Chris. The police have dropped the charges against me." The words had tumbled off his tongue and hearing himself say them out loud had set his heart racing again.

A second ago, he couldn't believe his eyes, now he couldn't believe his ears! It was the best news possible and he was completely overwhelmed by it. All he could do was smile back at his boyfriend and pull him into a hug. They held on tightly to each other, drowning in the emotions of the moment. He could feel tears on his cheek and they weren't Aaron's, they were his. He was so relieved it was over for Aaron, for everyone.

It seemed for once that Aaron was more in control than he was; it was him who pulled away first, just a little, just enough to wipe away his tears and drop a tender kiss on his lips, teasing him then with "I knew you'd be pleased!"

"Pleased! Words can't describe how I'm feeling right now. I was so scared for you, for us. But we've just got 'our' life back, haven't we?"

"Yeah, and it's going to be alright, isn't it?" Suddenly, he wasn't sure, he'd just slipped off cloud nine and had hit the earth with a bump. 'Their' life revolved around this place, they'd poured so much into it, money, sweat and tears. Could he really give it up so easily?

"Aaron?" He wasn't sure what his boyfriend was asking, he did know that the sparkle had gone out of his eyes, that he suddenly seemed scared.

"What you said about memories?"

"This place is full of them, isn't it? Our first night here, our first Christmas here, our first row here... the hours we spent making up! We've collected three years of good memories here, and only one bad one, but we don't have to hold on to that one, do we?"

"No," Aaron acknowledged, there wasn't any room in their home for that one.

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

Spectre

Epilogue

It was late, the room bathed in the milky light of a full moon, the only sound Aaron's soft rhythmic breathing. Jackson lay awake in the stillness, a smile of contentment gracing his face.

It was their first night back at the cottage, and they had marked the occasion with passion, with their love for each other. It had been a while since they'd been intimate; because they'd been trapped in a nightmare, they had, on recent nights, clung to each other in the darkness, being together the only need in want of satisfying.

Tonight, they had fallen into bed exhausted, sleep the only thing on their minds, but as they'd snuggled together under the duvet, their lips had met and a fire had started to burn, stirring emotions, energizing the flesh.

Then came the pillow talk, whispered words of love, of devotion. Aaron eventually drifting off to sleep in his arms just like he always did after they'd made love. He held Aaron close, nuzzled his face against his and inhaled his heady, masculine scent, basking in the mellow mood of the moment.

Jackson was physically drained, at peace emotionally but still sleep would not come, maybe because he wasn't quite ready to give into it just yet. It seemed he wanted to hold on to today for a little longer. It had, after all, been a momentous day in their lives, their world had been turned upside down by Chris's death, but Joel's confession had put it back on its axis, and they were back in control of their future, as in control as anyone could be. They could get back to making plans, and they'd had such big plans before their life had been eclipsed by tragedy.

It was always going to happen, they just hadn't decided when. Now, Jackson realised you couldn't take anything for granted, that life could be turned on its head or even ended in the blink of an eye. Now, there was an urgency to those plans and he wouldn't rest until they had been set in motion. The very first thing they needed to do was set a date... Christmas? Yeah, he liked the idea of getting married at Christmas, something told him Aaron would, too. The festive season wasn't all that far off now, they were going to have to get a wiggle on if they decided on making things official between them then.

He was going to have to find himself a few well-paying jobs in the meantime, better than the one he had lined up for Monday. Not that they wanted anything big and lavish, no. The ceremony would take place somewhere quiet, somewhere tasteful and refined, the two of them surrounded by family and friends. The evening do, though, now that would be a time to party, a time to let their hair down!

It was the honeymoon that was going to prove the most costly, two weeks in the sun and not their usual beach-and-beer break. No, this was going to be something else entirely, fourteen days in a luxurious Caribbean retreat. It would be their last holiday for a while and he was determined it would be an unforgettable once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Their money would be spent on other things after that. Children, so everyone kept telling them, were expensive. Well, they didn't care how expensive they were, they just knew they had more than enough love to give a child, that they could provide a nurturing and stable home for a child in need of such, maybe even two.

He shifted uneasily, suddenly unsettled on remembering how all their dreams had been threatened, how they had come so close to being shattered. If Joel hadn't admitted his guilt, clearing Aaron in the process, then there might never have been a wedding, and even less likelihood of them having a family of their own.

His thoughts drifted again, back to how they'd walked hand-in-hand to Paddy's, eager to share the development with everyone else. As the news spread, the Smithy had filled up with those echoing their relief. At some point, someone had suggested a celebratory drink in the Woolpack but Aaron had said no. Jackson had to agree. They'd celebrated the night Chris had been convicted, it had been a welcome release from the strain of the previous few months. It had been a hard-fought-for victory, one at times they weren't sure they would win, but with Chris finally paying for his wrongdoing, they'd all thought it worthy of a night out. But this was different, it wasn't anything to celebrate, a man was dead, another facing a spell in prison, one life ended, the other marred. No, they wouldn't be celebrating Joel's confession. They would just get on with their lives, just grateful to be able to.

On David Smith's arrival, the house had quickly emptied, what he had to say was for their ears only, for the time being at least. David had been right about Joel, his suspicions spot on. The eighteen-year-old had panicked when he realised Chris was dead, and in desperation had decided to make it look like Aaron was responsible for his death. With Aaron unconscious, he'd been able to cover his tracks, had cleaned the handle of the knife he'd used and then pressed Aaron's fingertips against it. He'd told himself that because of the history between the two men, the beating Aaron had taken, that Aaron would get away with it, that it would be seen as self-defense. According to the police, Joel seemed genuinely sorry for what he'd done, for what he'd put Aaron through. Even if he was, it didn't make much difference now; if he'd come forward earlier, Jackson might have had an ounce of compassion for him, but he'd left it a little too late as far as he was concerned.

David hadn't been able to tell them anything else, the police were legally only able to share so much with him. But David had promised that all their questions would be answered in time, he couldn't tell them what would happen to Joel either. Jackson didn't care what happened to him but he knew, despite everything Aaron did, that the one he held responsible for all this was Chris. And Chris had paid the ultimate price for his ways, he wouldn't hurt anyone ever again.

A wave of tiredness washed over him and he yawned, tightening his hold on Aaron as he did so. He was so proud of him, he'd been through a terrible ordeal, but he'd handled it so very well, he'd thrown a few wobblers… they both had, but he'd come through it and had already taken the first steps in moving on.

Aaron had insisted on moving back into the cottage today, it didn't matter that the living room floor wasn't finished, that the paint on its walls wasn't quite dry or that the furniture was stacked in one corner. He'd just wanted to reclaim what was his, theirs… and in doing so had exorcised a ghost.

End


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